"And you wonder why she feels angry with you and thinks you do not care?" Xen'dex said quietly.

"I care for her," Tragar protested. "That is...I wish to protect her and see her safely to the Holy Mountains."

"You wish more than that for her." Xen'dex gave him another piercing look. "It is time you stopped lying-both to yourself and to Emily. A Khalla needs more than just protection, Tragar. She needs love."

Tragar turned away.

"That I cannot offer her. My love died ten cycles ago with Jalex and Landra. And even if it had not, I am not her chosen mate."

"Tragar..." Xen'dex put a hand on his arm. "What happened to your family-"

"Was my own fault." Tragar shook off his old teacher's hand and looked at him grimly. "Entirely mine. But I will not allow another in my care to come to harm. I will get Emily to the Holy Mountains before another stage of her Tenrah pa.s.ses. There she will find someone worthy of her. Someone other than me."

Xen'dex looked at him for a long time and then nodded.

"Very well-if that is the way you wish it."

"I do," Tragar said shortly but his heart was sore as he spoke the words and he found he couldn't meet his old master's eyes.

"Wow, this is some bathroom!" Emily looked around herself in amazement. Everything in the bathroom seemed to be alive. The sink and the toilet-which was high and square-seemed to have been grown rather than made. They were smooth, black wood with the same blue and green vines draped around them that hung in the doorway. There was another curtain of vines-this time purple and pink ones-which shielded the shower area.

"I'm glad you like it. The shower is modeled after the ones they have on Rageron-my mate disliked our mode of bathing and insisted on his own."

Saskia swept the purple and pink vines aside and stroked a smooth black square just inside the large shower stall. At once a chute opened up near the top of the ceiling and a rush of warm, sweet-smelling, clear turquoise water poured out. Emily thought it looked like a miniature water fall and longed to get in it at once-she didn't know when she'd needed a shower so badly.

Of course, she'd had a brief shower back on Tragar's ship but that seemed like ages ago. Since then she'd been cooped up in the stuffy shuttle, a guest in Grandy See-er's rather cluttered hovel, and running up and down a hot, dusty street being chased by a bunch of h.o.r.n.y alien men. She felt grimy and sticky and thoroughly disgusting.

"The controls are here." Saskia patted the smooth black wall panel just inside the shower. "They're very sensitive so tis best to use a light touch. Swipe left to make the water hotter, right to make it cooler. Swipe up to release foam to cleanse your hair and body and down to turn the water off completely."

"Sounds wonderful," Emily said gratefully. "Um...should I just get in then? I mean..." She didn't know how to ask for privacy but she really didn't want to strip in front of the other girl. No matter how nice and friendly Saskia seemed, she was still basically a stranger and Emily, being a plus sized girl, had more than her share of body image issues.

Once again, Saskia seemed to know what the problem was.

"You seem fine so I'll step out and give you some privacy," she said tactfully. "But please call out for me if you need help-I don't mind."

"All right. Thank you." Emily smiled at her as the other girl left, brushing aside the vine-curtain briefly to get out. As soon as Saskia was gone, she quickly stripped and stepped into the flow of the warm, clear turquoise water.

For a long moment she just enjoyed it rushing over her in a long, rippling waterfall. It felt wonderful and warm-like an ocean wave caressing her. In fact, it was hands down the best shower she'd ever had in her life except for the fact that her b.r.e.a.s.t.s were throbbing painfully where the water hit them.

That reminded her that she had yet to try removing the silver nipple caps. Should she? Everyone seemed to think it was so important yet she was still strangely reluctant to do it.

But there's no way they'll let me keep wearing them-especially not Tragar. She thought of the stern look in his golden eyes...and that thought led to the memory of him holding her so gently and squeezing her nipples...the tender way he'd licked the droplets of nectar from her b.r.e.a.s.t.s...

Stop it! she told herself. You're supposed to be mad at him, remember? But for some reason, under the warm, rushing waterfall, it was harder to hold on to her resentment. All the anger and doubt and irritation seemed to just float away in her delicious enjoyment of the shower. But she couldn't stand there enjoying herself forever.

Emily looked down at the silver caps on her nipples and sighed.

Well, guess it's time to try and take these off...

Gingerly, remembering how much it had hurt to put them on, she stepped a little way out of the water and took the right silver cap with its long golden ta.s.sel between her thumb and forefinger.

Now, there should be a hinge somewhere...didn't Grandy See-er squeeze them to open them up? She seemed to remember something like that although her memory of her visit with the kindly old lady was still strangely dim and foggy. She also didn't question how she'd gotten from Grandy's cottage to the middle of the Howlund-it simply didn't seem important right now. I'll think about it later. Right now I have to get these off.

Carefully, she squeezed the silver cap, trying to make it pop open.

Immediately, a bolt of agony ran through her-much worse than anything she'd felt before. It felt like someone was slicing through her tender nipple with a red hot knife.

With a m.u.f.fled scream, she s.n.a.t.c.hed her hand away and stepped backwards, almost as if she could get away from the pain by distancing herself from her own body. Her elbow went back, knocking against the black wall panel that controlled the shower and sliding over its slick surface in a half hazard fashion.

Immediately she was covered in a mountain of thick, pale blue foam which came pouring out like an avalanche to cover her from head to toe.

"Oh!" she gasped and got bubbles in her mouth and up her nose. They tasted like a mouthful of soapy flowers and there was more and more coming all the time.

Coughing and choking, Emily scrabbled at the black square, trying to stop the mountains of foam that were still pouring out. The whole stall was filling up with alarming rapidity and she was afraid she might suffocate in the billowy blue mess.

The foam stopped when she swiped, replaced by a drenching rain of freezing water that took her breath away. Emily couldn't even scream this time-she was too shocked as a deluge of what felt like ice water poured over her. Reaching for the panel once more, she tried to turn the cold water off, only to be drenched in more foam-this time purple. A third swipe resulted in water so hot it melted the foam instantly-and felt like it might melt the skin right off her body at the same time.

With a shriek, Emily jumped back. Cornered at the back of the stall, away from the lava-hot waterfall from h.e.l.l, she huddled in a ball in the half-melted foam, trying not to touch her b.r.e.a.s.t.s which were throbbing and aching miserably. So much for the best shower she had ever had! Now she just wanted to cry!

"Emily? Emily?"

The low, familiar voice filled her with shame. Oh, no-she really didn't want Tragar to see her completely naked! It was bad enough that he'd seen so much of her when she was only wearing her nighty-but that at least hid her stomach and thighs. Body image issues rose up to crowd her mind and she gathered as much of the melting blue and purple foam around herself as she could before answering him.

"I'm fine. Just...the water got a little hot is all."

He stuck his head in the shower and put a hand in the steaming waterfall before drawing back with a hiss.

"A little hot?" Quickly he did something to the panel and then felt the water again. "All right-that's more like it. Come rinse off."

"No." Emily stayed stubbornly at the back of the stall. "You leave first."

"Not until I'm certain you're all right." He frowned at her. "Come here, Emily-let me be certain you're not burned."

The commanding tone of his voice couldn't be disobeyed. Reluctantly, she rose and stepped forward into the water which was now barely tepid. She turned her back to him and rinsed away the foam but Tragar wasn't to be denied. He was half in the shower with her now, staying mostly out of the flow of the water though he didn't seem to care very much if he got wet.

"Let me see you," he said, a little more gently. "Please, Emily-I just want to be sure you're all right."

"I don't want to." She could hear the tears in her own voice but couldn't seem to stop them. "Please, Tragar, just leave me alone!"

"I can't do that. Not until I know you're not hurt." His voice became gentler still. "What is it, Khalla? I've already seen and tasted your b.r.e.a.s.t.s-why are you afraid to let me see you now?"

"It's just..." Years of unhappiness with her body rose in her until she almost couldn't breathe. "It's just that I'm not someone you really want to see naked," she finished in a defiant voice that still wavered just a little with tears. "I'm not exactly thin, you know?"

"I know-you have ripe, luscious curves." He put a hand on her shoulder, turning her gently around. "You're what the Twin Kindred call an Elite'-a female the G.o.ddess has blessed with a fuller figure than most."

Emily gave a little laugh that was almost half sob.

"Seriously? Well, I guess that's a nice way to put it."

"It's the only way to put it." His golden eyes roamed over her hungrily. "And besides, all Khalla are shaped as you are. You shouldn't be ashamed of your curves or try to hide them." He nodded at her arms, which were still crossed gingerly over her chest, hiding the silver nipple caps. "Now, what happened with the water? Were you trying to boil yourself alive?"

"No. I was trying to get these off." Reluctantly, she dropped her arms, revealing that she still had the silver pinchers on. She was glad that the metal d.i.l.d.o-like thing Grandy had given her to wear was safely hidden inside her-she really didn't want him seeing that part of her as well.

"Won't they come off?" He frowned in concern.

"Not for me, anyway." Emily sighed. "I seem to remember that they hurt a lot going on. But that's nothing to what it felt like when I tried to take them off."

The big Kindred swiped the water off and reached for a towel. "Come-let's get you dry so I can have a look."

Emily stepped, shivering, out onto a green and blue vine bathmat and saw that the towel he was holding out for her seemed to be made of a hundred thousand tiny pink and orange flowers which had somehow been woven together into a rectangular piece of fabric.

"What are those?" she asked uncertainly. "Uh-how can flowers dry me off?"

"They're water-mouth blossoms," Tragar rumbled patiently. "They'll suck away any moisture they find. Come...let me dry you."

Still feeling incredibly self conscious, but not quite as bad as she had before about being naked around him, Emily raised her arms slightly and allowed him to wrap the strange pink and orange flower-towel around her body.

At once, she felt a light, feathery sensation as though a million tiny mouths were sucking at the moisture left by the shower. It didn't hurt at all but it did feel strange and a little tickly.

"Oh!" she looked down at herself but the towel didn't seem to be doing any harm. In fact, as soon as she was dry, the tickling sensation stopped and it felt like any other towel. Well, if a towel had been made out of cool, waxy petals that was. Again, not uncomfortable but not exactly what she was used to either.

"Come into the sleeping chamber where the light is better," Tragar said. "Let me see if I can get those d.a.m.n things off you."

He held the vine curtain aside and she stepped into the room and went to sit on the high bed which seemed to have a coverlet much like the towel only this one was made of larger, white blossoms with green centers. Emily didn't know why she hadn't noticed it earlier-probably she'd still been disoriented from fainting.

She still felt hungry but not nearly as lightheaded now. The shower had certainly woken her up and she did feel refreshed-although she could have done without the avalanche of foam and the freezing and scalding water at the end.

"Now, come..." Tragar sank to his knees before her, just as he had back on his own ship, and gently parted her towel, baring her b.r.e.a.s.t.s.

Emily caught her bottom lip between her teeth when she saw how much bigger her b.r.e.a.s.t.s had grown. Pretty soon there wouldn't be a bra anywhere that would fit her! And they ached so much. Though the little voice inside her was still insisting she needed to keep the silver nipple caps on, she began to feel that it really was time to take them off. If they would come off, that was.

"Please, be careful," she said when he reached for her with his big hands. "I...it hurt so much when I even tried to get it off. I...I'm just so tender right now."

"I know you are, my Khalla." His deep, rumbling voice was gentle as he cupped her full b.r.e.a.s.t.s in his hands, being careful not to touch the nipples just yet. "I believe that is because your nectar is ready to flow but the star-silver pinchers are keeping it in."

Emily shook her head.

"But I don't want it to flow. I'm afraid to let it flow."

"Change is always hard," Tragar murmured. "But you cannot stop it from happening, Emily. The nectar must flow."

"But I don't want to be pumping out that weird honey-looking stuff like a fountain," she objected as he took the first nipple cap between his thumb and finger very gently. "I'll be leaking and making a mess everywhere and my nightgown is already ruined!"

"Xen'dex has some special clothing you can wear to help with that," he a.s.sured her. "I'm going to try and take this one off now, Emily."

"All right." Resolutely, she looked away, not wanting to see what he was doing. It was the same way she refused to watch the nurse stick her when she got a shot or had a blood draw. "But how is special clothing going to help?" she continued, talking to keep herself from thinking of the impending pain. "I mean, are there cups in it to collect the stuff or what?"

"No, a Khalla's nectar is meant to flow and bless whatever it lands on." Tragar sounded distracted, as though he was concentrating hard on the task at hand, but he still answered her. "On Rageron, a Khalla in her second stage will often be taken to local farms that her flowing nectar may bless the crops. It's said that ground which has absorbed the nectar of a Khalla is twice as fertile and will yield more abundantly than any other."

"So...she's like some kind of weird traveling fertility G.o.ddess? Walking around, just leaking all over the crops?" Emily didn't like the sound of that at all.

"Not exactly. The Khalla is a physical manifestation of the G.o.ddess in her most perfect form. Her touch is healing and her honey and nectar are the essence of fruitfulness and life."

"That's nice I guess," Emily said doubtfully. "But will I have to do that once we get to Rageron? I mean, I know you've seen me, uh, without a top on. But I really don't want to go all around in front of a bunch of strange farmers so I can water their crops with my, uh, nectar."

She had a mental image of a bunch of men in overalls and pitchforks who nodded sagely and watched as she squirted the amber-honey looking liquid over their cornfields, using her b.r.e.a.s.t.s like some kind of weird water guns.

But Tragar was shaking his head-she could see it from the corner of her eye.

"No-you won't be required to do so. And you may be through the second stage before we get there." He sounded a little grim. "It would be better if you stayed in Scintil and didn't enter Vlammen until we reach the Holy Mountains but I'm not sure that will be possible."

"But what happens during Vlammen? I mean, I know you said something about my honey flowing like my nectar, whatever that means but-"

"They're off. You can look now."

"Really?" Emily looked down at her chest and saw that he had indeed managed to get the silver pinchers with their long, golden ta.s.sels off. "I didn't feel a thing," she exclaimed. "But, oh...am I okay?"

Her nipples, which had been dark pink and very puffy, were now almost red and looked twice as swollen as before.

"Don't try to touch yourself," Tragar cautioned. He had tossed the silver pinchers aside and was opening a small blue jar that had pale pink cream inside. It smelled like peppermint and flowers. "Here-let me rub some healing ointment on you-it should help."

"I hope so." She nibbled her bottom lip nervously as he scooped some of the pale pink ointment up on one fingertip and began to slowly circle the outer edge of her areola with it. She knew he was probably just working his way inward, being careful not to hurt her, but the warm, gentle touch was doing strange things to her, making her throb and ache between her legs where the silver shaft was still buried.

For a moment she wondered if she should tell him about that but she decided to keep quiet about it for now. The little voice inside her still insisted it needed to stay where it was and anyway, she really didn't want him looking between her legs and seeing how hot and wet his tender treatment of her nipples was making her p.u.s.s.y.

"Feels all right?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her as his finger slipped over the tight red bud of her nipple.

Emily nodded and bit back a moan. G.o.d-that felt amazing. How could the big Kindred be so stern and angry one minute and so gentle and careful the next? She tried not to notice how his golden eyes were half-lidded as he touched her or how good it felt when he put down the pot of ointment and rubbed both nipples at once, pinching and tugging lightly to really ma.s.sage the pink healing salve into her flesh. Instead, she crossed her legs tightly, trying to fight the rising tide of desire inside her and failing miserably.

At last, after stroking and rubbing her nipples for what felt like forever, he sat back a little. Emily dared to look down and was relieved to see that her swollen buds had at least returned to a dark pink shade instead of the ominous red. But Tragar was still frowning for some reason.

"What is it?" she asked anxiously, trying to read his face. "What's wrong? They're back to the right color at least-that's good, right?"

"They're the right color but..." He cupped her globes and ma.s.saged gently with no result. "Look-your nectar isn't flowing-not even a drop."

"Well, I mean that's good right? That means I'm still in the first stage of Scintil?"

He shook his head. "Based on how much fuller your b.r.e.a.s.t.s are, I believe you should be entering the second stage by now. The nectar must flow or you're going to be in a great deal of pain, I'm afraid."

Emily bit her lip. In fact, now that he'd stopped touching her nipples, her b.r.e.a.s.t.s ached sharply again, making her wince when the heavy globes swayed with even the slightest movement. But she wasn't sure if she ought to admit that or not.

Tragar, however, seemed to read the pain on her face.

"You're already hurting, aren't you?" he murmured, frowning at her. "Your b.r.e.a.s.t.s are giving you pain because they're too full."

"It's...uncomfortable," Emily admitted. "But maybe it's because the pinchers just came off. Maybe the situation will, uh, resolve itself after a little while."