"Mom, no one is having any kids around here. If you want a baby, have one yourself," Lucy says and her brothers' heads all whip to her.

"Really, Lucy!" Jace yells.

"Shut your dirty mouth," Jude scolds.

"You're dumb," Jayden exhales, shaking his head. "Mom, don't listen to her. And Coach, don't get any ideas."

"Oh my G.o.d, really, Jayden? You went there?" Baylor asks, gagging and shaking her head. "That's not okay."

Meanwhile, I'm cracking the h.e.l.l up. This is better than TV.

"I'm glad you are enjoying this s.h.i.tshow," Jace says, a grin pulling at his lips.

"This is awesome," I say between laughs as he wraps his arm around the back of my chair. His eyes are dark as they capture mine, and within seconds, I feel like the most gorgeous girl ever. All because of the way he looks at me. Like I'm all he sees in lieu of everyone in the room. His mother's words scream in my head, and I wonder if they are true. If he does love me. And of course, I wonder if I love him.

But I'm really unsure if I even know what love is.

With Caleb, I think it was obsession. I needed something to hold on to because I wasn't treated right at home. But with Jace, it isn't like that. I don't need anyone now. I've learned to be on my own, but I want Jace. I want him more than I want my next breath. Leaning forward, he kisses my nose before turning back to the table as Jude points at him.

"So the showdown will be here in two months, Kings versus a.s.sa.s.sins. Since your middle brother and his wife are cheap and won't get a box in their arena for the family, I paid for the box-"

"He did not. Reese said everyone can come share hers," Claire says, rolling her eyes.

"Details, baby, shh," he says, pressing a finger to her lips that she promptly smacks away. "Anyway, since I'm the one with the biggest contract at this table, I will fork out for everyone to attend. So I expect you to clear your schedule to come and watch, learn the ropes in case you make it into the NHL."

"I will make it," Jace says, and Jude holds his hands up.

"Of course, you will," Jude says condescendingly, but he doesn't mean it in a hateful way. I may have only just met him, but there is nothing but love and respect in his eyes for his baby brother.

"You know, Jace," Jayden starts. "We both went first in the draft, so you have some big footsteps to follow in."

"Don't listen to him. We will be proud, no matter what," his mom says and Lucy nods.

"I'll go first," Jace declares confidently, and they all grin while my heart bursts with pride. I smile as Jayden and Baylor both roll their eyes. The dynamic in this family is hilarious. They tease each other relentlessly, but in the end, they are so proud of each other. It's crazy awesome.

Jude nods before looking over at me. "Avery, you're invited, so you better be there."

Perking up, I feel my smile widen. "Thanks, I'd love to come. My brother actually plays for the Kings."

Not that I want to see him, but it's superawesome to be invited with Jace's family. Makes me feel important. But when everyone pauses and Jace looks at me perplexed, I'm confused. What did I say wrong?

Jude's eyes narrow as he looks at me. "What? Your brother plays for the LA Kings?"

I nod, reaching for my water. "Yeah, Seth Haverbrooke, number nine."

When his jaw drops, I'm confused. What's the big deal? I look to Jace for support because I really don't know why everyone is staring at me like I'm insane. But he is making the same face his brother is.

"Wait, what? Your brother is Seth Haverbrooke?" Jace asks, his eyes wide.

I shrug, still confused as all get-out. "Yeah, why?"

"Seth Haverbrooke, who is related to Benedict Haverbrooke, the commissioner of the NHL?" Jace's coach asks as I meet his gaze. His eyes are wide too, and I really don't understand what is going on. The only people who are not looking at me like I have seven heads are Claire, Jace's mom, and Angie.

"Yeah, that's my dad," I say slowly as everyone just stares at me.

Jayden looks at Jace. "You're dating the commissioner of the NHL's daughter?"

"Man, way to pick them! Hoping that gets you an in?" Jude laughs.

I scoff, rolling my eyes. "Please, it's really not a big deal."

But when I see Jace's face, I think I might be wrong.

Because, by the way he is looking at me, it must be one h.e.l.l of a big deal.

"I thought your last name was Rose?"

She looks at me, her eyes unsure as she slowly shakes her head. "No, Rose is my middle name."

"So it's Haverbrooke?"

She nods, her eyes full of confusion, and I'm dumbfounded.

All I can do is stare at her.

What.

The.

Ever.

Loving.

f.u.c.k.

Surely.

Surely, I heard her wrong.

But when I glance across the table at my brothers, hoping for some kind of answer, Jude is laughing from his gut and Jayden is crying with tears of laughter. But that's not all. No, Baylor's eyes are wide and panicked, and Coach's mouth is still gaping open. f.u.c.k, I have a feeling I heard her just fine. Which explains why my heart is jackhammering against my ribs, I can't breathe, and I'm two seconds from a panic attack.

"Why is this a big deal?" my mom asks. "Why is everyone laughing? River, honey, what's wrong?"

"It's not-" Avery tries, but Coach's voice goes over hers.

"Her dad is the commissioner of the NHL. Autumn, he runs...s.h.i.t, everything!"

"Oh wow," my mom says. "How awesome for you."

"Hardly," I hear Avery whisper, but I'm still unable to move.

Trying to process this, I close my eyes, hoping that when I wake up, this will all be a dream. It has to be.

"Jeez, Jace, you really know how to go big or go home, huh?" Jayden laughs, shaking his head as I look up to glare at him.

Not a dream. s.h.i.t.

"And I thought I was hot s.h.i.t going after the first female in male college hockey. Ha! You topped me."

"Shut up, Jayden," Baylor spits, worry still in the depths of her wide hazel eyes. "But, really? Hockey royalty?"

"It's not a big deal," Avery says from beside me, but I can't even.

"Ha! Yeah, it is," Jude barks before looking back at me. "You know how to pick them, bro. No wonder you're so confident you'll go first! You have the f.u.c.king commissioner in your back pocket," Jude wheezes, but then he pauses. "I don't mean that disrespectfully to you, Avery. I'm just busting Jace's chops."

I lean on my hand, my heart still jackhammering. I feel Avery looking at me, but I'm still trying to believe this is happening. The commissioner? Really?

"He didn't know," Avery says then, which stops the laughter. I feel her shift uncomfortably in her chair, and all eyes fall on me. "It isn't a big deal to me the way it is to you guys, so I don't talk about it. I'm not close with my family."

Silence falls over the table, and she is still fidgeting anxiously in her chair. I know I should say something, rea.s.sure her it's okay, but it's not. How could she not tell me something like this? Doesn't she realize that is important information to give your hockey-playing boyfriend, whose dreams are to be in the NHL? I would never use her to get ahead, but s.h.i.t, I would still want to know stuff like that.

"You're right," I hear Lucy say, but it's very m.u.f.fled since my heartbeat is hurting my eardrums. "And you shouldn't have to."

Um. Maybe not here, but to me, yeah, she should!

The table goes quiet again and I don't look up. I can't. My heart is in my throat and my blood is boiling. She hid this from me. Just like the cutting. f.u.c.k.

"You know, I didn't know Haverbrooke had a daughter," Coach says and my heart sinks. "I've known him for years."

Avery doesn't say anything as Jude continues, "And Seth never talks about a sister. His brothers, yeah, but..."

When he trails off, I know they finally realize why this is a sore subject for her. She must look stricken, like she always does when her family is brought up or when they contact her. While I'm always elated to hear from my family, Avery never is. Her lips turn down, her eyes go sad, while her cheeks redden in embarra.s.sment from the fact they're d.i.c.ks and don't treat her like she should be treated.

Like the f.u.c.king princess she is.

"Sorry, it was just surprising," Jude says then, and I nod.

"You can say that again." When I look up, everyone's eyes are on me. I can only look back down, feeling like an idiot. How can I be dating a girl-h.e.l.l, be in love with that girl-and not know this kind of stuff? I look like a dumba.s.s in front of my family. How could she let that happen? After how we talked about her opening up, being honest with me. It's like she's been lying to me. But, why? Why would she do that?

When I feel her lips by my ear, my body tenses up and I hate that. Really? I'm not mad? d.a.m.n it. "Are you mad?"

"Later," I say firmly, my eyes across the table on my brothers. Jude's eyes widen and Jayden shakes his head, but neither Avery nor I move. I feel her heartbeat against my arm, and I know she wants to ask more. Instead, she slowly backs away, her eyes burning into the side of my face.

But I can't look at her.

Not when I'm fuming with anger.

When dinner is over, I'm the first one up and I head outside because I need air. I knew if I left before dinner, my mom would worry and I don't need to cause her any more grief. I can't. Done enough of that today. But s.h.i.t, the last part of that dinner was suffocating. So d.a.m.n awkward, and Avery didn't say a word to anyone but Lucy and Angie. It was pathetic and sad, and maybe I was a d.i.c.k for not saying anything, but I was trying to figure out my next move. If I have the right to be upset with her.

I mean, she doesn't talk about her family, and I don't ask too many questions because I know it hurts her. But the commissioner? I feel like she should have told me that. Even if it doesn't matter, I feel like I should have known. It's just a huge surprise I really wasn't ready for, and I don't know what to say to her. Will she shut down? But honestly, what can she have to say? She didn't tell me. There is nothing else to be said, but d.a.m.n it, I need her to say something.

When Jude and Jayden flank me, I don't even know why I'm surprised and we head outside. Avery must still be playing with Angie, and that's cool, I just need a minute. A minute to breathe and to gather my thoughts because I have a twenty-minute car ride with her, and we are going to have to talk about this.

Whether she likes it or not. I don't care. We are talking.

"You didn't know?" Jayden asks once the cold air hits my face.

Crossing my arms, I let my head fall back as I suck in a deep breath. "No."

"She never told you?" Jude asks incredulously and I shrug, looking back at him.

"We don't talk about her family. They are s.h.i.t to her, and it's just not something that comes up. Plus, for the last three weeks, I thought her name was Avery Rose, so I never connected the dots."

"Why didn't she tell you?"

"I don't f.u.c.king know, Jay. f.u.c.k," I groan, shaking my head.

"I don't get it," Jayden says, crossing his arms over his chest. "Why hide that?"

"I don't know," I say softly, my throat itching with emotion.

Jude shakes his head as Jayden looks at me. "Jace, I'm not trying to sound like a d.i.c.k but-"

"If it goes bad, you could be f.u.c.ked!" Jude yells and I flinch. I already thought about that, and yeah, it scares me s.h.i.tless. But what can I do? I'm already in it. There is no turning back at this point.

"I know."

"Jace," Jayden stresses. "This isn't smart."

"Can you get out?" Jude asks, and I shake my head, dread filling my belly.

"I don't want to," I say, looking up at them. "I love her."

Jayden looks away, as frustrated as I am, while Jude shakes his head. "Can you un-love her? This is playing with fire, Jace!"

"Can you un-love Claire?"

He runs his fingers through his hair, shaking his head. "No, yeah, that was dumb."

"I didn't choose her, my heart did," I say and they both look at me, deadpan.

"Okay, Romeo, tuck that corny s.h.i.t back in," Jude teases. While, yeah, it was corny, it's the truth. I didn't want a girlfriend, didn't want to be connected with anyone. I wanted an easy year, a fun one, and somehow I fell hard for some beautiful singing temptress I saw up against a tree. One who has some demons that scare the s.h.i.t out of me, but I don't care.

I love her.

Taking a step toward me, Jayden takes me by the shoulders. "If you even think there is a possibility you can get out, please do."

I hold his gaze, my eyes burning with irritation because why would they even suggest this? I mean, I get it. This is a big deal, but didn't they hear me when I said I love her? "Did you get out when you knew you loved Baylor? Even when she didn't want anything to do with you, when she was more concerned with winning than you? Did you give up?"