He gives me a sheepish grin, and then we are skating in silence. He is a quiet guy, and Lord knows I don't want to talk right now. As we skate, Coach leans against the board, watching as Drake slows a bit. I can tell he's getting tired, but I tap his shin.

"Two more."

"This sucks," he complains and I nod.

"For sure, but come on."

He finishes, barely, before heading off the ice. Before I can follow him, though, Coach stops me. "Sinclair."

I pause, closing the rink door before taking my glove off to unhook my helmet. "Yeah?"

"You okay?"

I nod, pushing my cage up. I look down at my skates, acting as if I'm kicking the ice from them. "Yeah." It's still hard to look in this guy's eyes, but it's getting better, I think. I hope.

"You seem a little distracted."

"Yeah, a lot on my mind."

He nods. "Yeah, Autumn told me your dad is coming to the game."

I swallow loudly as I pull off my helmet, shaking my hair out. "Yeah."

"Are you okay with that?"

I shrug. "Yeah, he's my dad."

I can tell he wants to say more. Instead, he looks away, clearing his throat. "Okay, well, whatever is distracting you, let it go. You are my leader, my captain for this team. I need you to be on your game, especially with the scouts being here. I've been putting in good words for you with all my buddies."

I smile. "I'll be one hundred percent. No worries. And thanks a lot, Coach."

He grins. "You know you can call me River off ice, if you want."

I jerk my gaze to him, my eyes wide. "No way."

He laughs. "Too much?"

"Yes," I gasp. "Even if you marry my mom, you will still be Coach, Coach."

Jesus, why did I say that? Soon, I'm gagging. I try to hide it, but he laughs harder. "Good to know."

"Yeah, can I leave now?"

Shaking his head, he asks, "Is this how it's gonna be between us? You being all weird around me?"

I scrunch my nose up. "You're dating my mom. It's weird."

Rolling his eyes, he grins. "Fine. Go."

"See ya," I say, running away as fast as my skates allow me. I really need to accept what is going on between him and my mom, but I'm finding that harder than it probably should be. If she's happy, I should be... And not want to blow chunks at the thought of him with her.

Ew.

Hitting the showers, I joke with the guys before getting dressed. Coach was right. I am the leader, and I can't let outside s.h.i.t mess with me. When I'm on the ice, that's it. Hockey is the only thing I need to think about, and that's final.

I just wish I believed I can do what I say.

Because all I can do is think of her.

Worry about her.

"Hey, Sinclair, how many goals you gonna get this year?" someone calls to me. I don't see who since I'm looking at my Facebook.

Grinning, I look up as Markus says, "Doesn't matter. I'm getting more."

Punching his thigh, I laugh. "Please, and you know I'm breaking my record."

That gets a round of razzing before my phone sounds and my heart jumps in my throat, thinking it's her. I don't know if I can be cool, act like I didn't see what I did. But then I see that it's Jude.

Jude: Call me.

Closing my eyes, my heart sinks as I wonder if Lucy talked to him. Instead of calling him, I call her.

"Hey, make it quick. I have a client coming in, like, two minutes."

"Jesus, you're busy."

"Hey, you won't complain when Christmas comes. What's up?"

I clear my throat. "Did you talk to Jude?"

"No, I was gonna call him after lunch."

"He just texted me to call him."

"Then call him."

I roll my eyes. "Bye, Lucy."

"Talk to you later."

She was no help. Staring down at my phone, I know I need to call him, but I really don't want to. But I need too. Going to his name, I click it and wait as it rings.

"Hey."

"Hey," I say, nervousness eating me alive as I slide my shoes on and lock my bag up. "Bye, everyone," I call to the guys. "You said to call."

"Yeah," he says, and I can hear the frustration in his voice. "I talked to Mom this morning, and she said Dad is coming to the game tomorrow."

s.h.i.t. Swallowing hard as I push through the doors into the cool breeze, I tuck my hand into my pocket and say, "Yeah, he is."

"Did you ask him to?"

"No," I say honestly. "But when he asked, I told him when the game was."

"So you two are talking like that?"

Biting the inside of my cheek, I shrug, even though he can't see me. "I don't know, Jude. I don't know what to say here that isn't gonna have me watching my back from you and Jay."

"Well, tell the truth, Jace. I don't get it. I mean, how can you want someone like that in your life?"

I shake my head. "He's our dad."

"He was our dad," he corrects quickly. "He was stripped of that when he decided some wh.o.r.e was more important than us and his wife. When he raised a hand to our mother and then came at us. Did you forget that?"

Closing my eyes, I swallow hard. "No."

"Then, what's the problem? Are you really that spoiled that you can't care for yourself?"

"No, I can. I am, but I feel s.h.i.tty just cutting him off when he helped me out at the start of the year."

"But you don't feel s.h.i.tty you're hurting Mom?"

"No, I do, Jude. Come on, man, you know I don't want to hurt anyone."

"I do know that," he says and then inhales. "I think that's what I'm so mad about, because you don't want to hurt anyone. But the thing is, you're gonna be the one hurt, and all of us are gonna have to watch it. I won't tell you I told you so because there is no need, you'll know it. But, man, separate yourself now before it's too late."

"Okay," I say softly, my heart pounding in my chest. "I hear you."

"Good."

"I should have called you and told you."

"You should have. But whatever, it's fine," he says offhandedly and shame drowns me. "Just be careful, Jace."

"I hear you."

"I told Jayden and he told me to handle it 'cause he was worried he'd say something that really hurts you."

"Well, thanks," I say because I know that to be true. Jayden's temper is something scary, especially when it comes to my dad.

"Okay, I love you. See you tomorrow."

"Love you, bye."

Hanging up, I don't feel better. I know calling Jayden will probably only make me feel worse, but I dial his number anyway.

"Hey," he barks and my heart drops. Maybe I shouldn't have done this.

"Listen, I know Jude told you, and I wanted to call and say I'm sorry."

"It's fine, Jace. We'll deal as a family. He doesn't matter. All that matters is watching you kick a.s.s."

I smile because it's so unlike him to say that when it comes to our dad. He would rather cuss me out than say something like that. "Did Baylor tell you to say that?"

He laughs. "No, Mom."

That only makes my heart hurt more. "Maybe I should tell him not to come."

"No point. He'll come anyway, and Mom doesn't care. Really. But listen, I'm walking into practice. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Cool. I really am sorry, and I love you."

I can hear the grin in his voice. "Yeah, you're lucky I still love you too."

"I am," I say and he laughs before saying good-bye. Why don't I feel better? Pulling my phone from my face, I see a message came through while I was on the phone.

Mom: Don't beat yourself about your dad. I love you more than anything in this world, and I promise I'm not upset. He has nothing over me anymore. My main concern is you, your brothers, Lucy, Angie, and my daughters-in-law. I love you, don't be upset.

I let out a long breath as I shake my head. I know I shouldn't beat myself up, but I am. I should have told him he couldn't come.

Me: I don't deserve such a great mom like you.

Mom: I say the same thing about you and your brothers and sister. I don't know how I got so lucky to have four beautiful children who bring me such joy, but I am. Trust and believe, my love, you deserve the best. So don't you think at all about what is going on in the stands tomorrow. All you worry about is being the best. Because you are just that, the best d.a.m.n player ever... Don't tell your brothers I said that.

Me: Oh no, I am.

Mom: I can still take you over my knee.

Me: Lips are sealed.

Mom: Better. All right, I love you, Jace.

Me: I love you.

And while I'm sure that was supposed to make me feel better, it doesn't.

I only feel worse.

Slipping my phone into my pocket, I start for the coffee shop, but I don't get far before Markus is walking beside me.

"Ready to tell me what has you all icky?"

"Icky? I'm pretty sure men don't use that word," I say and he grins.

"I do, so stop changing the subject and tell me what's going on."

Shrugging, I know I can't tell him about Avery, but I can tell him about my family. He's basically a part of it. "I talked to Lucy yesterday, and she said she was gonna talk to my mom about my dad coming to the game tomorrow."