R18

5 Shacho’s Apartment

Shacho

had the corner apartment on the seventh floor of a modern high rise.

His living room was large, but I

didn’t get the chance to browse because I was dragged through into the large

bedroom where a large fluffy bed sat.

I was surprised that he was able to

afford such a place on the earnings in our company.

He seemed to read my mind and told

me, ‘I bought it when I was working for another company.’

I surveyed the room in surprise.

The dim light of the evening shone through the curtains covering the large

windows.

‘I am not being forward, am I?’ he

asked suddenly.

‘About what?’ I asked confused by

his question.

‘Bringing you here,’ he said his

hand sweeping the room. ‘I will be troubled if you change your mind,

Sakamoto-san.’

‘No, I will not change my mind.’

(Zuben: The sista is ready.)

He walked forward I walked backwards.

‘I’m never sure of a person’s

feelings. But before you change your mind, I have to make sure I imprint myself

on you thoroughly.’ He said as his expression changed.

I felt like prey before Shacho; as I backed away and he

approached. Soon I was stopped by a solid object behind me, and I could not go

back further.

Shacho’s

hand stroked my cheek gently and I leaned into his touch, unconsciously closing

my eyes. He drew me closer and kissed me.

 Because my eyes were closed, it felt like all

my senses were concentrated on the entwining of his tongue with mine. It made

me aroused in the blink of an eye. My knees felt weak and I slipped. Shacho held me and lay me back onto his

large bed.

‘Did that feel good?’ He asked with

a wolfish grin.

This person has a split

personality!

‘Sakamoto was saved for me because

your ex-boyfriend had little experience,’

‘Why?’

‘Because now, I can train you so

that your body so that you will never be able to live without me.’ (Zuben: Do j.a.panese women find this kind of line a turn on?)

Why are you telling me something so

scary?!

He pulled up my top and un-hooked

my bra. And he held my breast in his large hand.

I cried out as my hardened nipped

brushed against his palm.

Shacho’s

finger traced around my areola and I arched my back.

‘Do you feel good?’ he asked.

My face burned when he asked me in

that tone.

Why was it that I felt like I was

the only one happy we were mutually expressing our love?

Round and round his finger went. My

s.e.x was feeling thrilled with the pleasant sensation, but his finger did not

reach the centre.

I wanted him to touch my nipple, but

when I moved, he took his hand away in a flash.

‘It’s dangerous,’ he said in that

teasing tone he had adopted, ‘I will not touch there…yet.’ And he started that

torturous circle again. Gradually my breathing became short as pleasure began

to grow.

Quickly…I want you to touch it

soon.

I felt myself take damage as that

disturbing finger approached again. It was probably because my body knew the

pleasure only halfway. I felt like crying because I was unsatisfied.

Even if I begged, that finger would

go away again.

Even though I was aroused, my body

was getting impatient without the pleasant feelings.

I…I wanted satisfaction…even if I

was going to do it myself.

Shacho

caught my hand as I raised it,

‘Do you want to touch yourself?

You’re surprisingly h.o.r.n.y,’

‘That’s because Shacho…’ because Shacho won’t touch it!

I looked up at him and he laughed

and said, ‘I was thinking about touching it sooner or later. It seems it’s time

to take care of it.’

If you would…If I could get

anything beyond that maddening thing he had been doing.

He totally took of my top and bra

completely; he took of his black s.h.i.+rt and bound my wrists with it.

He had a well toned body which was

covered with a fine sheen of sweat and it gleamed in the low light of the

evening. (Zuben: Bow chika wow wow)

‘Ya~a yya…touch me,’ I cried.

Even though he had not touched me

anywhere but my areolas, my lower body was getting wet in antic.i.p.ation. When I

moved my legs, I could hear the sound and feel the mucous seeping out.

Please touch me soon.

Even as I watched him, panting, Shacho just looked down at me with a

satisfied smile on his face. My skin was flushed and love juices dripped from

between my legs, he just watched.

‘You look good enough to eat, I’m

thrilled.’

Shacho

seemed to be smiling in the dim light. I’ve never seen this type of

predatory expression on a man before.

‘Please…’I cried.

‘Here?’ he asked teasingly as he

finally touched my nipples.

My back arched at the sudden

stimulus. He tightly pinched and crushed the hardened protrusions.

‘Oh…ah…ah…’

‘Did you come because of such a

thing? You’re the h.o.r.n.i.e.s.t woman I’ve ever met.’

I wanted to deny it, but my

underwear was soaked and sticking uncomfortably to my skin. It was proof that I

had come.

It looked like the president had such a

habit…

The pleasure given after coming was

not gentle. Even though he touched my nipples as I wished, he was pinching and

crus.h.i.+ng them painfully.

‘It hurts, Shacho…it hurts.’

‘Masaya,’

‘Ma…saya?’

‘My name is Masaya. Call me that

from now on.’

(Zuben: Babe, you’ve been in love

with a bloke whose name you don’t even know?)

‘Ah Masaya-san…it hurts…oh…oh…’

‘That’s a lie, it feels good’

‘Ah…different. Yes.’

I could feel pleasure within the

pain. It was gradually developing from his merciless onslaught on my nipples.

Yes, it was such a fierce feeling.

‘Do you want me to stop?’

No! Don’t stop!

While moaning, I desperately shook

my head.

I was starting to fall into a deep

pleasure that I had never tasted before.

‘Which is good? Would you rather

rush? Does it hurt you too much?’

No! I won’t be impatient anymore!

‘Do more! It’s okay if it hurts.’

(Zuben: Gurrl ¬.¬)

I could not keep myself from saying

it, though it was embarra.s.sing. Just tasting the pleasure demonic Masaya was

giving me this last few minutes, I wanted him to touch me more, to be as fierce

as he could. (Zuben: We would be graduating to whips and chains, soon)

‘Saying such a thing? Are you

saying you are a lewd woman?’

‘Do it, because oh…oh…’ Because I

could not take it anymore, I felt so good I thought I was going crazy.

‘What would happen if I insert this

into your mouth?’ he asked, his lips parted a little and there was a glimpse of

his tongue. Just imagining the tangled kiss made my core clench,

‘Too erotic to imagine,’

Masaya laughed. This level was too different.

Of course, experience was too different as well. He was a devilish pervert.

I felt like I should be disappointed…

‘It’s alright. Maki seems to have

the quality.’ (Zuben: Of Masochism? We know)

I do not need such a characteristic

though, I thought, but my body was throbbing regardless of my logic.

‘Oh…ah…ah!’

My head could not keep up with the

strong stimulus. Pain and pleasure are mixed and my core constricted many

times.

More…I wanted more. I wanted bigger

pleasures.

It was sometimes cruel to have experience.

I knew the feeling of something thick thrusting in and out of my s.e.x. The sweet

paralysis that overcomes me as it rubbed the v.a.g.i.n.al walls. So easy to get when

you have a partner.

‘Don’t make such an unsatisfied

expression,’ Masaya teased as he licked an engorged and reddened bud.

I moaned loudly; intoxicating

pleasure without pain.

He pinched one nipple and sucked on

the other one. Even though the stimulation was not stronger than the finger,

the pleasure I felt was intense.

My body trembled with pleasure as

he sucked on my nipple. His hot wet tongue was suddenly pushed against the bud

and my consciousness was stunned.

‘Do you want it?’ He asked

I knew what he referred to. Yes,

soon. Immediately. I nodded, but it was very likely devilish Masaya would not

give it to me right there and then.

He just smiled and sucked on my

nipples, sending delicious waves of pleasure around my body.

‘Oh…ah…ahn!’

There was a pleasant sensation

borne from my slit and the sensitive bud which could be rubbed faintly as I

squeezed my thighs together.

Ahn…it felt so good.

I rubbed my legs together craving

even a bit of pleasure from there. It certainly could not be helped if he

called me lewd. Although I was ashamed, I still could not stop.

‘Maki, raise your hips.’ He commanded,

I obeyed and my jeans and underwear were taken off. The cool air settled on my

flushed sensitised skin.

‘You’re already drenched.’

I could not see it, but it was as I

expected. Love juice was spread around the bushes. The lascivious mouth that wanted

gifts opened up; it was drooling without stopping.

Masaya told me to hold my knees up.

My wet slit was exposed.

I wanted him to touch me.

My body that wanted stimulation, wanted

pleasure. Even though I came lightly a while ago, it was far from a true

culmination. It was possible to touch myself but I knew it was not what I

wanted.

‘Are you excited from being seen?

You have a l.u.s.ty body, Maki.’

‘Ah, that is…’was all I could

reply.

‘Though, I’ve been mean, you’re

drooling? You’re so easily excited.’ Masaya said laughing like he was amazed.

I wanted to say, you did this to

me, but I wasn’t so sure. Even though his eyes were cold, I was so aroused.  I realised I could not go back anymore.

Masaya’s finger caressed my thighs

and slowly they ended up at the centre and traced the hair on my mound.

‘Ah…’

My body throbbed in expectation as

his fingers gradually moved closer to where I wanted them,

‘Ah…!’ My body trembled in rapture

as a finger stroked the entrance of my slit. As it traced me shallowly, I could

hear obscene sounds.

Quickly…push further inside, I

pleaded in my head.

A faint pleasure was all I had; I

wanted him to get deep inside and stroke the inner wall more and reach that

place deep inside,

‘It will be fun to stop here,’ he

said retrieving his fingers and licking the juice on them.

No, no. I shook my head.

‘Maki, what do you want to do? Do

you want to stop?’ he asked. Why was he asking this? I did not understand.

‘You understand my proclivities; I get excited making you scream. Do you like it?’

I hesitated. It was painful to be

teased in such a way, but I still wanted to be loved by this person.

‘I like it,’

He grinned first. And then he was

laughing with a pained expression. However, it changed to an expression of

relief, I realised that Masaya-san may have been uneasy about me.

Then he said, ‘Here’s your reward,’

and pushed two fingers into me. My love hole tightened around his fingers. I

did not want to let go of the fingers that were giving me pleasure.

I moaned loudly as his long fingers

penetrated me many times and my body became numb. A sweet pleasant feeling

spread every time his fingers rubbed my v.a.g.i.n.al wall. I enjoyed the pleasure

without pretence.

‘Do you dislike it? Shall I stop?’

he asked

‘No…oh. No, you can’t stop, ah!’ I

cried

‘What? I didn’t hear you.’

‘I feel good. It feels so good.

Please don’t stop.’

‘The way your hips are shaking is

certainly appealing. Is my finger so good?’

He was stimulating my insides

strongly with his finger. My v.a.g.i.n.a was drooling and contracting. While he

pulled out, he didn’t forget to run his finger along the walls. I was

enraptured.

I became drunk from the pleasure

acc.u.mulating. I was going to peak soon.

Just a little more…I thought.

But that finger was pulled out just

before I was swallowed by deep pleasure.

‘Ah…!’ I cried in protest.

The walls of my v.a.g.i.n.a contracted

looking for that foreign object. All that mucous gave out a strange sound as it

filled the hollows. (Zuben: Is there like a fountain up in there?)

I looked at him indignantly.

He was taking off his jeans and

underwear.

My body got excited when I realised

something thicker than a finger was coming.

‘Don’t make such a happy face,’ he

said with a grin, ‘I want to chase you.’ And he put on a condom.

He was more masculine than any man

I had ever met.

‘Is this the first time you’ve seen

one?’

It’s the first time I have seen it

so thick and big. But, I could not say that out loud.

My thighs were opened wide and he

positioned himself at my entrance. He rubbed the head along my slit to coat it

in love juices, and then he advanced inwards.

I moaned as the tip entered slowly,

spreading the meat. Although, I wanted this, an oppressive feeling that I had

never experienced before overcame me.

‘Ah…you’re so tight.’

I moaned. He slowly drew back,

unlike his fingers; his c.o.c.k rubbed different places as it came out from when

he entered.

‘Does it hurt?’ he asked

‘It…doesn’t hurt…’

‘I won’t hesitate then,’

Holding my knees, he thrust in with

vigour.

‘Ah!’

The pleasure that was borne from flesh

meeting flesh in this way was more then I imagined. The sense of pressure

quickly blew away. His violent thrusts warped upward, flicked the v.a.g.i.n.al

mucosa. Every time he stabbed it into me, pleasure melted my body.

The more I melted the more pleasure

acc.u.mulated than I could withstand.

‘Ah..a m-Masaya-sa~an…’

‘Calling my name with such a sweet

voice, I will not be able to hold back.’

‘Ahh…nn…ah…ah…ah!’

‘Would you like to taste it more

thoroughly?’

I couldn’t possibly…

The same feeling of culmination I

had at the company this morning was rising. It was the first time I had felt

such pleasure in my p.u.s.s.y. However, it was merely a sign of greater pleasures

to invade me.

Grabbing my thighs and further

opening my legs, Masaya thrust accurately at the upper side of my v.a.g.i.n.a giving

me even more pleasure.

I had sensed that he knew the body

of a woman. I do not know how many lovers he had had but I suspected there

would be many.

The glans penetrated to the place

inside where the pleasure resided a.s.suredly. Every time he pulled out, the

walls were caught in his wake.

Masaya-san did not reach as easily

as he threatened. Even my former boyfriend came quickly after a bit of vigorous

thrusting.

He slowed down when he got excited

and thrust hard when he calmed down. I felt like I was being tempered.

The temperature, the shape, the

mucous was being tuned to fit Masaya’s hardened maleness.

But it was a deep pleasure in

exchange for this.

‘Ahn..oh…Ahh!’

My soft and wet walls were

shrinking around Masaya. It increased in intensity when he thrust the deepest,

‘I about to reach my limit, Maki’

I opened my eyes to look at him.

His expression was gentle yet he was grimacing.

‘Looking at me like that…ah I’m

coming…’ His expression has different from what it had been. It was

embarra.s.sing and hard to look him directly. Such a sweet expression that looked

clumsy, but it was so charming it drove me to the limit.

‘Ah…no more, oh…oh a~a~an!’

While we looked into each other’s

eyes, my v.a.g.i.n.al walls wriggled and convulsed (Zuben: This woman is very

sensitive to her v.a.g.i.n.a’s movements, chai!)

Masaya groaned as he came, and then

he pulled out.

I was sweaty and sticky. I really

wanted a shower. While I was thinking this, I was suddenly lifted from the bed

in a princess hold.

‘Ah Masaya-san?!’

‘You will be uncomfortable; there

is no need to push yourself.’

Where are we going? I wondered as I

clung to him.

He took me to the bathroom and put

me in the bath tub.

‘Sit put while I wash you,’

‘No, I will wash myself.’

‘Do you hate me was.h.i.+ng you…?’

Hmm?

‘No…’

‘Are you dissatisfied with the kind

of body wash I have?’

‘It is different…’

‘Is my sponge distasteful to you?’

Listen to what someone is trying to

say! How could we hold a proper conversation? I wondered as I held my head in

dismay. His large hands came from behind was.h.i.+ng me. Soap suds flourished as he

ran his hands around my tummy.

There was a sense of foreboding.

‘Um…’

‘Since you don’t like my bathing

sponge, I can only wash you by hand.’ He said as a matter-of-factly.

Is that so?

This bathroom is totally different

to the one I had in my apartment. There was so much s.p.a.ce.

‘Stop that tickles,’ I cried as

Masaya’s hands caressed my flank.

‘You have no choice but to endure…’

he replied softly. Bubbles were now covering my upper body. I cried out as his

hands rubbed my bulges and touched the rosy tips.

‘You’re still hard here, are you

wanting more?’ he asked as his slippery hands smoothly kneaded my b.r.e.a.s.t.s and

teased my nipples.

My body which hadn’t recovered from

the last affair was awoken again. His fingers gently traced my areolas, and occasionally

played with the nipples.

‘How tantalising…it would be fun to

continue the rest of the night.’ He said chuckling behind me. Masaya-san looked like he could really do it. I was a bit afraid I would not be

able to keep up with him. .

‘Do you want to try?’ he whispered

in my ear then he bit my earlobe. It created goose pimples down my spine.

‘Ah…yes….oh~’ I moaned contrary to my fears.

He supported my body as he pinched

my nipples.

Because, I was resting on him, I could

feel Masaya’s c.o.c.k stiffening behind me.

Was Masaya-san also as l.u.s.ty as I

was…?

Did I excite him?

With that thought in mind, the ache

in my body got stronger and I wanted it a.s.suaged.

‘Ah~ Masaya…put it in…’

‘Where?’ he teased as he kissed my

neck.

You know…

I knew he was only teasing me, but

I still felt frustrated. I really wanted him inside me.

I rose, bent over and pointed at my

slit,

‘Here…here.’

‘Your a.s.s?’

‘No. Here. I want you to put it

here.’ I replied as I put my fingers inside myself. It felt different when I

did it. It seems my s.e.x was protesting that it wasn’t enough with my fingers.

‘I don’t have a condom. Are you

prepared to marry me if we get pregnant?’

‘…Ah?’

‘I will come out but it doesn’t

guarantee that you will not get pregnant. Are you prepared for that?’ he asked.

‘Masaya-san, what are you asking?’

‘This is probably not the best time

to ask this question, is it?’ His warm voice made my heart melt. I had not

thought that far to marriage. I was worried about how far I could follow that

delusion.

Despite his warning me, my reply

was, ‘Please put it in me – please.’

‘Are you prepared to go all night?’

he asked. (Zuben: Dude! Stop asking questions and get on with it!)

His delightful voice sent tingles

down my spine. Was it okay to be this happy about it? And a slight bit

perplexed?

He told me to brace my hands

against the wall, and put my a.r.s.e outwards.

My knees almost collapsed in

pleasure when the head of his p.e.n.i.s touched my s.e.x directly. Masaya gripped my

hips to keep me from falling,

‘It has just entered,’ he said in

his teasing voice. Even then he hadn’t put it in completely. He entered me

slowly. I moaned.

While supporting my waist, Masaya

started pulling in and out. It seemed that I have gotten used to his size

quickly, for there was no discomfort as my wet cavern swallowed him completely.

‘This is dangerous as I thought…ah’

he said through gritted teeth. The feeling of flesh to flesh, not separated by

anything, amplified the pleasure. Each thrust sent waves of pleasure through

me.

‘Ah…there…yeah…ah.’

I was about to collapse. My knees

were weak from the strong stimulus.

‘I’ll take you back to bed.’ He

said. He rinsed the soap suds off both our bodies and carried me back into bed.

He turned me unto my stomach and

pulled me up by my hips and carried on.

My pleasured cries filled the room

as his violent manhood invaded me. My wet cavern raised a sound of joy.

Even though I wished for it, I was

still surprised I was climbing quickly. I seemed that my v.a.g.i.n.al meat responded

sensitively to the feeling of raw manhood. Love juice splashed about, as we

rubbed against each other, our limbs entangled.

‘Wa…ah…ahn…I’m…I’m coming,’ I

gripped the soft quilt on his bed tightly as I began to tremble. I could barely

look at Masaya-san’s room; I was coming for the second time.

I cried out as I reached the peak.

Masaya pulled out vigorously as my

v.a.g.i.n.a clamped down around him. I could feel the warm turbid fluid spill over

my back.

Ah…it felt too good.

Masaya-san had been saying

something about tying me up. I don’t know about that, but it certainly felt

like I could not leave even if I wanted to.

‘How was it? Unsatisfactory?’

‘It is weird! How can it feel so

good?! Why?’ I cried as I collapsed onto the bed.

‘I am kind of concerned about the

kind of men you dated in the past’

Well, I guess so…but I was

beginning to think this was not just about experience.

Masaya-san carefully wiped my back,

while I was lost in thought.

‘Well…it isn’t an interesting

story, though. I wouldn’t say it was impossible. Honestly I don’t know what to

say,’ (Zuben: Neither do I. I kinda lost the plot here)

Masaya-san came to lie down beside

me.

Was there anyone who didn’t like to

be touched?

I had too many embarra.s.sing things

in my past.

‘Maki is a good child,’ he said

stroking my head.

‘A good child?! I’m not a child!’

‘That is true, because children

can’t do this,’ he said as he pulled me on top of him.

‘Sit up,’ he said. He was getting

hard again, and he pushed his erection into me as I sank down on him.

It was too embarra.s.sing to look at

Masaya’s face, and the pleasant sensations came over me again and I tried to

hide my face.

But his large hand kept me from

hiding, ‘I want to see more of Maki’s face,’ he said.

‘A~aann~ no~ahn…’

He grabbed my b.u.t.tocks with his

other hand as he thrust up into me.

Masaya san would not allow me to

turn my face; he gently stroked my cheek while f.u.c.king me. I could not turn

from his warm hand; I had no choice but to expose my l.u.s.tful face,

‘That erotic face, because of

Maki…he’s going to get bigger,’ (Zuben: Dude who says that?!)

‘What are you saying – OH!’

‘I’ll tell you about my past

later,’ (Zuben: Okay...?)

Masaya’s voice was heard through a

haze of pleasure. I could not understand him properly. I was coming again. I

gradually became aware of the o.r.g.a.s.mic sensation growing inside of me; soon my

head was filled with it.

Masaya’s expressions were also a

catalyst as I rushed to the top.

I felt drained, and I collapsed on

top of him.

‘Maki…ah…Maki…get off!’

I got off quickly at the sound of

Masaya’s fl.u.s.tered voice. If I had been any later, he would have discharged

inside me.

‘I do not mind coming inside, if

you don’t want let me out.’ He said with a teasing smile. I smiled back at him.

‘Anytime, please?’ I teased

 ‘If you say that, are you going to do me three

times again later?’ I asked. His expression became heated. I got the last word,

this time.

We went to have a quick shower

together, and then Masaya-san borrowed me a s.h.i.+rt. We went to the living room,

where he made coffee for us in the adjoining kitchen.

6 Past and Experience

We sat quietly together for a

while, then Shacho began to tell me of his past,

‘I have two older sisters; my

eldest sister is Saori who is eight years older and my second sister is Marida,

she is six years older.’

‘I get along well with them. Saori has

a quiet and reserved personality while Marida is more vivacious and outgoing.’

‘When I was in my third year of

Middle School, Mari-nee invited her girl friends over to the house. At that

time, I hadn’t fully matured yet, so I could be seen as cute. I encountered one

of my sister’s friends out of her room…’

“Miyabi-kun, h.e.l.lo”

“h.e.l.lo,”

“Miyabi kun is cute as always.”  (Zuben: Said the spider to the fly)

“Thank you,”

‘There aren’t many guys who like

being told they are cute, not at that age anyway, but after a while you just

carefully say “thank you”’

“So where is Masa-kun’s room?”

“Eh? My room? It’s here…”

“Alright. Is it okay if I come and

bother you later?”

“Feel free…?”

‘I had thought she was just joking

about, like people do. But Kana-san really did come to my room later.’

‘So was that person…?’ I asked.

‘Kana-san was my first partner. I

didn’t have a girl I liked at the time and really wasn’t interested. But

Kana-san…she didn’t force me into it. She respected my will. However I wonder

if it was right. Anyway Kana-san was the kind of person who really liked to

feel good. I was taught to do various things, so compared to my cla.s.smates, my

s.e.xual knowledge was a lot more.’

‘Are you still in contact?’ I

asked.

‘No, she got married when I was in

my second year of high school. We lost contact.’

‘Do you know who she married?’

‘I don’t know what kind of guy she

married, but Mari-nee was invited to the wedding.’

It was kind of different from a

first love. More like first s.e.xual partner, more or less.

‘Wasn’t it surprising when she got

married?’

‘Well, I was more concerned about

how to handle s.e.x than that.’

‘Is that so?’

Was it because he had been too

experienced for his age? (Zuben: Really?) He must have had a lot of delusions.

‘I knew that Kana-san was a bit

special. I never tried to make subsequent girlfriends to be like her, but I

guess could not help but compare. In the end, we usually broke up.’

I wondered if I had been compared

to Kana-san as well.

‘In the end, I couldn’t connect

with anyone and just did it with women superficially.’

Masaya-san lifted his mug and took

a sip of his coffee. I followed him and took a sip of mine.

‘Delicious…’ I said

‘Really? I learnt how to brew it

that way a long time ago with Kana-san…’ he began to say - then suddenly

stopped. He sighed and had a faraway look in his eyes.  (Zuben: Dude, don’t pine for what is lost, it

will never be the same again)

‘I’m alright…’ he said, ‘I just get

lost in memories my time with Kana-san on occasion.’ (Zuben: Masa-kun are you over

Kana-san yet?)

The more I heard the name

‘Kana-san’ the more I did not feel good. It was not amusing to feel like I was

being compared.

I felt like I was cursed.

So I said, trying to lighten the

mood, ‘Why not just make lots of fun memories with me?’

Masaya-san smiled at that.

‘You don’t have to work too hard.

Overdoing things will just make you unhappy.’

I wondered if she told him those

words as well. Even though everyone tried their best, they had to part. No one

was bad or wrong.

I could not even hate her.

‘I understand; I will try not to

try too hard.’ I replied brightly. Masaya-san smiled softly and stroked my

head.

He seemed to be a good and kind

person, but my mood was somewhat complicated.

‘I will also try to be careful. I

want to be with you for a long time.’ He said. The words made me ticklish.

There were too many things and my head could not keep up. But, I wanted to

cherish this relations.h.i.+p with Masaya-san. I did not want to hear him say ‘it

is impossible’ to me.

I decided on something there and

then. I think it was hard for me to do, but I was patient. I think this was

because I had been waiting for a long time. I was keenly aware that we humans

were greedy creatures, and I wanted all of him.

‘Kana-san is…’

‘With Kana-san…’

‘To Kana-san…’

It had been one week from that day.

We hadn’t done it again since then.

I wasn’t studying the j.a.panese

Language, particularly.

Masaya-san had a terrible

expression every time I said that name. It made things somewhat awkward. I

wonder if he was really unaware. I gradually became less talkative.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t

worry about it. He was behaving like an ex-boyfriend of mine did when we were

still together.  So I didn’t need to

overreact.

That being said, ‘Does he not care

about me anymore?!’ I couldn’t help feeling this way.

Perhaps the severity of his various

delusions may have come about like this; trying defending oneself by imagining

all the bad things that could happen. If you do that, you think the degree of

hurt may be lessened.

‘Masaya-san, tomorrow’s Sat.u.r.day,

do you have any plans?

‘Tomorrow?’

‘How about a change of pace?’ I

asked with a laugh. Masaya-san returned my smile, his smile seemed troubled.

This past week, I have only seen Masaya-san smile like this. Even though his

damage delusions were troublesome, at least he laughed properly. It seemed that

he had become distant.

‘Maki is an adult,’ he said.

(Zuben: Whatever that means)

‘Masaya-san is too childish. Even

though I have ex-boyfriends; things of the past should remain in the past,

right?’

‘That…that’s right.’ He replied.

‘Kana-san is like me, I like to

finish things off cleanly and properly.’ While talking, I noticed something.

And I had a bad feeling.

‘But Kana-san is…’

I did not want him to say those

words, for it would be like putting salt in my wounds. This person… will

probably not be able to move on with his life.

‘Truly, what would you know about

Kana-san?’ Masaya-san said harshly. Tears pooled in my eyes. (Zuben: Well you

were poking the hornets’ nest)

‘I was originally Kana-san’s…’

I was surprised at how calm I was.

Was it because it had only been a week? I asked myself. At that moment, it

seemed like only a daydream.

‘Masaya-san,’ I began, ‘Do you know

where Kana-san is right now?’

‘Um…’

‘I knew it…’

‘But she hasn’t contacted me,’

‘You should go and see her anyway.’

I said, rising from my desk and going over to him. I picked up his car keys and

handed them to him.

Masaya-san sat shock-still in his

chair, staring at the keys.

‘Have you never gone to see her

before now?’ I asked.

‘No,’ he replied.

I picked up Masaya’s coat and made

him wear it. I put the keys in his hands.

‘Is it far from here?’

‘Two hours by car.’

I looked at the clock; it was

three-thirty in the afternoon.

‘Go. I will deal with whatever

comes up today.’

‘Maki…Kana-san is now single.’

I had thought so. Masaya’s

conflict, as to whether to go and see her or not, must have existed for years.

‘Do you still want me to go?’ He

asked.

‘Yes. Please go.’

Because Masaya-san could not move

forward as he was. I couldn’t watch him lie to himself about how he felt.

‘Does this mean that you trust me?’

‘If you get along well again with

Kana-san, please tell me properly and let’s break up properly.’

‘Maki!’

‘How long do you think I have had

you in my heart? If Shacho is happy,

that is best for me, isn’t it?

Shacho’s

hand trembled on the desk.

Actually, I am a liar.

I had thought that I would be okay

living in Kana-san’s shadow. I could have pretended to be unaware of it, and

stayed next to him. That would have been fine.

But, I wanted him to see only me. I

have become such a selfish girl. So because of that, I decided to return him to

Kana-san. I don’t need a Shacho that

was pining for another woman.

‘Maki, I’m sorry.’ He said, over

the sound of my crying I heard him walk out and close the door behind him.

Shacho

did not return to the office that day.

❋