"Shall we?" he asked her, his red eyes stared into her black ones. No hint of any emotion there while Vivian's was swirling in a mixer of a tornado. Not able to get the words, she nodded her head. Opening the latch of the door, "Let's go back," he said but then heard her speak.
"Wait!"
He turned around to look over his shoulder where she stood in place with both her hands which held together in front of her chest. Turning to face her completely, he waited for her to speak but she didn't. Leonard could see that she was nervous. Nervous and shy. Dressed in the finest clothing he had ordered for, Vivian looked as beautiful as a doll could come.
"What is it, Vivi?" he asked her to see her blink two times as she gathered her thoughts which had been muddled, "Is everything alright?" to his question she shook her head. Leonard knew she held mixed emotions at the moment and like many other times, he wouldn't help her here. He wanted her to take the step first and if she would fall, he was always there to catch her. She looked utterly lost like she didn't know what to do.
Vivian had thought he would kiss her, or hold her hand but he did none of it. He had also denied to kiss her in the morning.
The hormones of a young girl raged through her blood now and she had no idea what to do about it.
She had read but she never had someone teach her about things she felt now. The tightness in her stomach and the heat between her legs felt unreal. She didn't know why she felt like this by just looking at a play. She should have felt embarra.s.sed, dirty or ashamed but she didn't. Not that she wasn't embarra.s.sed but it was a different kind of embarra.s.sment. Everything she had learnt was from Leo until now, he had been her teacher all along when it came to learning something new.
Leonard didn't need to know what was going in her mind. He walked to where she stood as she looked up at him with her heart thumping in her chest.
He raised his hand, ready to touch her face but at the same time, he stopped himself. With his hand hanging in mid-air he retreated it back.
"Let's go home," he said, giving her an apologetic smile which she didn't understand. Nonetheless, she agreed to follow him as they left the private box area.
Once they were in the carriage and away from the theatre, the horses pulled the carriage on the wetland as it entered Bonelake. The horse's hooves touched and pushed the muddy ground with every run it made, heading towards the Carmichael's mansion.
The night was cold, yet Vivian felt hot. Her cheeks felt warm and her head dizzy as she stared into s.p.a.ce. Her eyes not looking at anything, in particular, her thoughts drifted back to what she had come to see in the theatre. Her innocent eyes had been corrupted! How could Leonard be calm while she was in this state?
She had stopped him back there before they moved out from their box seats but she didn't know what to tell. What was she to tell? That she was an internal mess? That she wanted him to touch her? Mentally she shook her head at it, it wouldn't be right. Women didn't behave like that, said Vivian to herself. At least not the decent ones and Leo saw her to be a decent one.
But if there was someone to be blamed, it was Leonard himself for taking her to a place like that where men and women stripped down their clothes to pleasure themselves while also letting others watch and enjoy the scene. She could still hear the loud moans and gasps in her ears resonating even after half an hour had pa.s.sed since they had left the theatre.
She then heard Leonard speak to her, "You don't have to be shy," she turned her head to look at him, "It's a natural thing which you don't have to be ashamed of," Vivian wasn't sure if Leo was talking about the play scene or about her as if he knew what state she was in.
"I don't know," she lowered her eyes down to her hands which she had placed on her lap. They had watched something so...sinful? maybe not sinful but something a normal human wouldn't see.
No wonder the night theatres were so high and expensive which was reserved for the elites.
And as if she wasn't embarra.s.sed enough, Leo asked her, "How did you find it?"
Hearing him question her, her eyes went wide. She parted her lips, not a word coming out, her eyes went to meet his again which looked calm as before. Like he was asking her if she would like to take the horse for a ride.
"You don't have to be shy with me, Vivi," he coaxed her gently, trying to make her comfortable so that she wouldn't jump out of the carriage like the scared rabbit she looked like right now.
"I feel confused," she murmured, her tongue peeking out to wet her dry lips before it went back to hiding, "Why did you take me there?" she asked him.
"Why?" he asked her to which she nodded, "I need to know you are ready. To know that, you know and are aware of what happens between a man and a woman," Leonard knew that there was no one who would talk to Vivian about this. Of how a man and a woman's relations.h.i.+p worked. It wasn't the best way to showcase it but it was the quickest.
They had crossed a lot of lines to where they were now with their feelings and he needed to make sure that she was ready, and it looked like she finally was.
With not much words to be shared after that, Vivian tried to decipher and dissect the words he spoke to her. He wanted her to know? She gulped softly thinking about it. Did that mean he wanted to touch her like that? But then again wasn't her body also responding and waiting to be touched?
Looking away and outside the window where darkness was spread across the forest and she could only see the silhouette shadows as they pa.s.sed by one after another, chasing backwards. She bit her lower, gnawing at it as her skin began to tingle at the thought of Leo touching her the same way the man had touched the woman back on the stage.
When the carriage reached the mansion and the coachman came to open the door, Vivian didn't know what had possessed her but she jumped out of the carriage like an opportunity that she had found to finally hide in the room.
But with her heavy dress that had been layered and with the skirt that was present, she didn't go that fast. She didn't wait to see behind her when the housekeeper opened the door, she gave him a short bow before hurrying herself up the stairs to go to the guest room.
She had to pull the front of her dress from keeping her from falling as the dress had half swept the floor as she walked.
Turning and pus.h.i.+ng the k.n.o.b for the door to open, she stepped inside but saw a hand above her to push the door wide open.
Just as she twirled around with her heart beating erratically in her little chest, wide eyes stared into Leonard which had for the first time in this evening lit like a burning fire that could burn her and combust her to dust. She took a step back when he approached her which only added fuel to the existing fire.
His long arm suddenly reached out to catch hold of her, pressing her back against the cold wall he saw the pupils of her eyes dilate. Her heart thudded and it wasn't out of fear. Or maybe it was out of fear, fear of what he could do to her. The number of possibilities made her mind go dizzy for a mere second before she brought it back to reality.