We get home after my mom screaming at me front the drivers seat the whole ride. I go to my room, lock the door and hide in my bathroom. I set on the floor, not crying, but thinking. Why do things always start so good and end so bad? Does everyone have days like this?
I just started homeschooling on my laptop. It sucks. I no longer have my phone and my mom only gives me the laptop for the 3 hour daily school sections. I'm grounded until in 60. Fml at this point.
Its 1am, I'm definitely not staying in this house. I texted Lili, I want to link up. She's down, along with Isis, Mia, and this other guy from our school, Ian. Hes this super cute guy that has had a crush on my forever.
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We meet up and go to this club, we're literally 14, looking 17, going in acting 20... the way life goes. Anyway, its been about 3 hours, yes, it was 4am. My only choice is to A. Go home or B. Wait til 6, honestly I was to faded off to think about either so I stayed, like a dumba.s.s.
A couple minutes pa.s.s by and Ian and I are talking. Ian offers to order an uber with me back home, noticing how faded I am. I had brought 2 wax pens there. (aka dab pens) and smoked both, alone.
After convincing Ian to go buy me a water so I can chill I sneak out. When I'm high, or affected by drugs I become one,of the most pessimistic people you'll ever meet. It was 4:57AM, the streets were silent. My mom has work at 7AM, she'll be up soon. She'll notice I'm not there, and without a ride I'm sure I'll be there at around 5:30AM. d.a.m.n, I was so caught up in my thought about the things she'd say, or even think if she caught me. Living in my state, the sun comes up at 5 AM.
I remember I had walked home that day
Content with all my misery, Told my self it'd get better, no clue what there was next to me
Remember there was people, walkin', talkin' in the distance. You see, I was dressed for winter weather but the summer rays were kissing me, I was lost.
So I took a different path, in the distance he awaited me
He had no weapon, I'm guessing his hands were just enough for me. There was no question, I'm guessing he laughed just at the sight of me. I was lost
Told my self it'd get better, no clue what there was next to me. I remember there was people, walking, talkin' in the distance. I was dressed for winter weather, but the summer rays were kissing me. I was lost.
And there he was, his presence was alarming
As he approaches casual, we talk 'bout self-harming He told me "Kid, you shouldn't be walkin' on your own." He smiled and laughed, and pat my back. He said, "how far are you from home?" I said, "maybe 30 minutes" His frequency distorted quick, I seen it in his image I should've run right f.u.c.king there, I-
You ever woke up on a train track
With no motherf.u.c.kin' clothes on? Death before your eyes, you prayin' to G.o.d, but ain't no response.
Trying to scream for hope, just a shoulder that you can lean on but ain't n.o.body coming, so you scream on and scream on and scream on
While this evil f.u.c.k laugh at you?
Train getting closer, you still surprised that he battered you Tears falling harder and harder, minutes get minuscule! Could've had a son or a daughter, now what you finna do? You finna die here on this train track. 'Cause clearly after death, ain't no way you can find your way back. Thinking 'bout your previous memories, going way back.
Authors Note:
Here's an extra chapter, again, im sorry for taking so long to update last time.
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