"Yeah, well, let's hope we don't need a good old war or two to sort matters this time," I said.
"What do we do now?" Anka asked, lighting a cigarette. That spelled danger; she had given up a while back.
"We act as normal as possible," I said. "Go back to work. Peter and Val will check up on the missing free shifters to see if there's any dirt we can dig up on Mac. And I'm almost certain there will be. We'll keep Esther out of this as much as possible. I'll find out more from Breslin, see if there's anything we're missing when it comes to protection. It might be time to find ourselves a good witch, for that matter."
"Not a witch," Carl said with a groan. "Not again."
"I said might."
"And if Mac shows up again?" Margie asked.
"Then call Shay first. I hate to drag him into this, but we might as well keep things as official as possible, as much as we all want to tear Mac limb from limb."
"I hear you," Peter said. He nodded at Val. "You up for heading back to work?"
"I'm eager to get this started," Val said in a distinctly growly voice.
"I should head back to the school, too," Carl said. "We have a meeting later this afternoon, and it's not going to be fun."
"Problems?" I asked.
"Nah, somebody just underestimated the power of the natural witch from the children's home. Maybe we could use her, slip her a little contraband in exchange." He grinned. "I hear sugar has been banned for an indeterminate amount of time after one of the kids broke into the stockroom, overdosed on a year's supply of sweets, and accidentally fried everything with wires."
"Wires?" Peter asked.
"Apparently, he has some kind of latent techno ability. They're still trying to figure it out."
"Poor kid." I made a face of disgust. "I hope they aren't punishing him for it."
"More like they're freaking in case something even weirder happens." Carl rose to his feet. "Anka, if you need help with stirring, I'll be around this evening."
"And I'll be sending Leah over. She can help," Val added.
"Thank you," Anka said. "It'll take some time, but we'll get back on our feet. I'm just sorry to have lost so many rare ingredients."
"Need a lift?" Peter asked me. "We can drop you in to Breslin."
I checked my watch. "Yeah, okay. He'll be around. If he's busy, I'm sure I can find something to read in there." Breslin's office held many ancient papers, treaties, and books, as well as a secret room where I could meet with the rest of the Eleven. I still didn't consider myself one of them, but I was pretty sure I needed to figure out where we stood with the paragon.
On the drive to my solicitor's office, Val and Peter discussed where to start on the search for the missing shifters.
"The human who Mac's ex left him for would be a good place to start." Val cracked her knuckles. "Let's see if he's heard from her, or if any of the neighbours remember when they last saw her. We can get in touch with Moses to find out if Esther knows about names or addresses of the free shifters she's heard of. Don't call her directly in case the Senate goes through with the phone-records threat that Mac likes to bring up on occasion."
"Might be better if we drop in or meet Moses somewhere then. Keep the phone contact to a minimum," Peter said.
She nodded. "I'm not opposed to b.u.mping into some shifters, either."
I thought about it a little more. "You know, Daimhn has a pair of shifter bodyguards right now. Maybe if you visit the coven during the day, you could persuade one of them to talk to you."
"Why would they tell us anything?" Peter asked.
"They won't tell you a thing," I said, "but Val is technically a shifter, too. If she reached out to them, enquiring about joining their pack, they might let a few things slip. It could be nothing, but you never know."
"That might be smart," Peter said. "You up to doing that alone?" he asked Val.
She nodded. "I doubt they'll give me anything important, but they might give something away, however small."
"Don't fight any shifters," I said hurriedly. "We can't afford to give anyone else ammo against us right now."
"I'm not entirely foolish," Val said in a dry tone. "However, this might go the way so many things have before. It's a power play, and they often come to blows. I want to be ready if that day comes again."
"Fine." I breathed deeply. "But try to be attacked first before you destroy the alpha." I grinned. "Unless you want to be alpha yourself, of course."
"Not funny," she said.
But I couldn't help thinking that she would make a far better alpha than Mac did. "Try not to dominate Daimhn's bodyguards too much then."
When we reached the office building, we said our goodbyes. I headed inside to see Breslin.
His secretary was sitting in front of a fan, looking as though she might pa.s.s out from heat I couldn't feel.
"Sorry," she said, moving slowly as she made to get up.
"Stay where you are," I said. "Are you due soon?"
"Not soon enough." She blew her hair away from her face. "I feel like I'm being punished for something terrible."
"I'm sure it'll be worth it." I tried to ignore the blister of envy that bubbled in my chest. "Is Martin around?"
"He's on a call," she said apologetically. "He'll be a while."
"That's all right," I said. "I'll head downstairs."
She looked frightened at that prospect, and I wondered how much she knew.
I travelled down the steps to the bas.e.m.e.nt room. I still felt weird going inside, but if I had to go up against a paragon, then I really needed to know where I stood in terms of power.
The room was dark, apart from the milky glow of a crystal ball. As soon as I touched it, I would find answers, but I was reluctant. For the past year, I had been so engrossed in figuring out the normal side of my life that I had almost forgotten about the Eleven. I was surprised to find myself nervous at the thought of facing them again.
Before I could chicken out, I slammed my hand on the crystal and kept my eyes shut as I spun into another place. It was like a void between time and s.p.a.ce, and only my soul entered at any given time.
"Here again," Judge said impatiently.
"It has been a year." I opened my eyes. The figures around me were misty, but I could almost make out the shapes of some of the forms. Judge was tall and slender in her high-backed chair while Slave was unexpectedly pet.i.te. I looked around for Shepherd. Strangely, his form was still indistinguishable, yet the mist around him had lessened significantly. What the h.e.l.l does that mean?
"And is there a reason we're here?" Judge asked in a sharper voice.
"I'm not sure if I have a problem yet or not," I said. "The thing is, there's a paragon hanging around."
"That's not new," Knowledge said.
"The shifters have been moving against me," I said, "and I'm afraid it has something to do with the paragon. From what I've gathered, there's a chance he'll come after me if he succeeds in what he's doing right now. Where do I stand against a paragon?"
A murmur spread around the room. "We're beyond the reach of a paragon," Slave said. "A paragon is not our keeper."
"She's been one of us for a brief instant of time," Silence warned. "That might not be long enough to protect her and, in turn, this circle."
"They wouldn't dare," Warden scoffed.
"If the paragon reaches for her, it's for a reason," Death said. "How do we know it's not an attack on us? If we lose her, we lose strength. There isn't another alive who can take her place. Not yet."
"More likely, this paragon fears the tainted," Wisdom said. "There's no reason for us to panic."
"He wouldn't be the first to reach for us," Shepherd said.
"What does that mean?" I asked.
"It was almost six hundred years ago," Birth said. "A paragon wished to turn the balance in her favour. She used her power to attack us."
"What happened then?"
"My predecessor died in a final battle against her," Warrior said.
"The Eleven won, but at a cost," Knowledge added.
"And if he does make a move" I said.
"Attack," Warrior said. "Fight back. Do not lose yourself to a paragon. They may consider themselves a higher power, but we are balance."
"But the shifters have been able to harm me. Not physically, but in other ways. If this paragon turns the Senate against me, I'm screwed."
"I'm sure you'll figure out a way," Birth said. "You're meant to survive."
I thought of my conversations with Adam, the only living angel I knew. According to him, his daughter and I had survived the circ.u.mstances of our births for certain reasons, but it seemed as though those reasons had run their course. Maybe my good luck was running out.
"Have patience while dealing with this paragon," Knowledge said. "It's not enough to win."
Then they all vanished, and after a second of distortion around me, I was back in the bas.e.m.e.nt of the office building.
"Yeah, helpful, a.r.s.eholes," I muttered and turned to leave. Breslin startled me on the stairwell.
"Everything all right?" He looked me over with worry in his eyes as he did every time I'd met with the rest of the Eleven.
"Just another unhelpful conversation," I said. "Do you know anything about paragons and what kind of power they have behind them?"
"I have some old doc.u.ments that might shed some light. Come upstairs. You wanted to know about the protection over you."
I carried on the conversation in his office upstairs. "The Eleven made it sound almost as though the protection over me might not count if the paragon comes after me because I haven't been a part of the group long enough."
"I've gathered from my research that the longer you spend as one of the Eleven, the stronger the protection becomes, almost as if it slowly becomes a part of you. And then when you get old or injured, it dies a little with you. It's fascinating really, almost as though the protection is a sentient being. I know we've been aware of some of the details, but most of it's been forgotten, most likely," he admitted. "I wasn't around for Baba Yaga's early days. Not even close. She lived a very long time. She had probably forgotten what it was like to become the Matriarch by the time she pa.s.sed the job on to you. And she didn't have to deal with her own fear very often. She was a hag, a particularly infamous one. The world feared her."
"I really need to get scarier," I said, flipping through a book on his desk. "If the Senate turns on me, things will get bad quickly. I wish Phoenix or even Elathan would come back and just fix everything."
"You think they would side with you?"
I shrugged. "Elathan has a soft spot for Esther. He would at least speak for her, and he's pretty scary himself when he feels so inclined. I definitely think he could help her. And Phoenix is" I thought about it. Phoenix had been kind of a friend until he'd distanced himself. I knew that if Lorcan wanted to help me, Phoenix would back him up, but if the paragon gave Phoenix an ultimatum-maybe by saying he had to choose me or the werewolves-I was pretty sure I would instantly earn myself a new enemy. "I don't know," I admitted. "But I'm feeling a definite lack of friends on the Senate right now. The regular government is just happy to not have to deal with the c.r.a.p the Senate covers."
"What about Shay?" he asked. "He's a useful ally."
"Shay quit the Senate for a reason." I wasn't exactly sure what that reason was, but I could guess he wanted to get away from the intrigue, not be dragged back into it. "He's my last-resort ally for now. I don't want to put him between me and the Senate if it comes to that."
"Does it have to come to that?" Breslin asked, adjusting his gla.s.ses. "Does it always have to be you versus whoever?"
"It just works out that way sometimes," I said. "Willow asked me to be an advocate for those without a voice, to speak for those the Senate won't listen to. That just goes really well with being the Matriarch. Maybe that's how I meet my next lost soul."
"Still waiting?"
I frowned. "Maybe I'm not doing it right. Should I go looking? Do I track them down?"
"They tend to come to you," he said. "When it's time, it'll happen. And perhaps I can serve as a hand to you when you're dealing with this advocacy idea. The notion appeals to me, I must admit."
"I'd be happy for the help. You know, that supernatural register still exists, and people have been turned away from the country for being too dangerous. If that register had existed when I first came into the light, I wouldn't have pa.s.sed muster."
"And you want to make sure everyone has a fair shot."
I pressed my lips together. People like Esther and Val would never have had a chance, either. And Jess had told me about the way people secretly helped and protected each other on the streets of Dublin. How many other people were still in hiding, terrified of the register and terrified of being exiled? Willow and Vega were both on the right track. The vampires and shifters didn't need our help. Those without a pack were the ones who really needed help.
Breslin helped me dig through his dusty old books for answers. We didn't find much we didn't know already. The paragons had been set up for almost two thousand years, and they had an army behind them, stationed all over the world. I wondered if any were in Ireland, just waiting for a call to arms.
The untethered were another story. We found stories of feral shifters with n.o.body to tether them, n.o.body to keep them sane. Most of them were injured in some way. Many of the stories seemed to involve a kind of madness, as though the shifters degenerated without a pack to support them. But I couldn't imagine Esther ever ending up that way. Despite her injury, she had no trouble living amongst humans. And Val had spent years alone with Leah, keeping them both safe. The untethered agenda was a blatant fabrication.
But a nagging feeling in my gut made me wonder if it wasn't right for a shifter to be alone. Maybe Esther would eventually succ.u.mb to madness without her brother to keep her safe. And then there was the fact that Esther's heritage came from a different continent. Was her existence an upset to the balance? And if I was actual balance, did that put me at odds with her?
For the first time, I felt a pang of fear that I would end up facing the kind of ultimatum that I imagined Phoenix would be forced to fulfil. If it came to balance versus any of my friends, I worried the Eleven would expect me to reset the balance at the cost of my friend's life. Or worse, they might deal with the imbalance themselves and come for her in the dead of night, without warning.
My stomach bottomed out. The very things that protected us might one day be the thing that separated us forever.
Chapter Six.
A couple of days later, Willow called to inform me that Mac still hadn't reappeared, and the Senate were starting to show concern. "I'm sure the silly sod is just hiding out, but we're already down so many seats right now that it's worrying."
"n.o.body's heard from Phoenix or Elathan, either," I reminded her.