I paced back and forth at the hospital entrance three times, Jiang Chen made me come over today to visit that girl who sacrificed herself in the name of love. He said I have to see that's' she's still alive in the flesh so I wouldn't get anymore nightmares later on. Every time I am confronted by Jiang Chen's request, I'd always feel like there's only two options left for me to choose from, either do what I was told or to scram. I expressed the matter to Jiang Chen and he told me, "No, you have a third option, you can choose to kill me." Thus, at this point, I think that Jiang Chen is probably like me — already a nutcase.

I braced* myself and rushed inside the hospital, past the part of the lobby where her body heavily landed. Jiang Chen was waiting for me on that very second floor, he told me he has a 7-hour surgery coming up hence I have no other choice but to let Doctor Su take me to see that girl. (T/N: The idiom used was "the fighting strength is at the highest at the first roll of the drums" which means to get something done in one valiant effort.)

I tugged his fingers and said, "7 hours? So long ah?"

"That's right, so you should go back home after you've visited that person, I'll go see you when I'm done with the surgery." He grasped my hand, turned towards Doctor Su, and said, "I'll have to trouble you with Xiaoxi."

Doctor Su seemed to be beaming radiantly as she replied, "No problem, just hand her over to me."

My suspicion was that she's seriously sick in the head, I totally felt that the underlying meaning behind her words were." I've finally got you in my hands."

As soon as Jiang Chen walked away, Doctor Su told me, "That girl has mental illness."

"Ah?" I took a step back, "I'd better go next time together with Jiang Chen."

"What are you afraid of? You have me, I'm her chief attending doctor." She pulled my hand, looking very intimate.

I was dragged two steps by her when I realised something was amiss, I resisted her pull and stood right there, "Aren't you an orthopedic? How can you be the chief attendant of someone mentally-ill?"

"I'm attending to her fractured ribs, as for having mental illness, I've diagnosed it myself. Without mental illness, can one jump down for a man?" She said still dragging me to move forward.

"Can a doctor talk about such things behind the patient's back?"

She looked at me like I've grown two heads and said, "Why can't I?"

"Aren't you being mean?"

Doctor Su patted me on the shoulder, her words meaningful and heartfelt, "A doctor is also a human being, and a human being has shortcomings, my shortcomings are my love for being mean to others and my lack of conscience."

She said it with such confidence and conviction that I was left with no choice but to be subdued by her.

As we went inside, the woman was lying motionless on the hospital bed. As I looked closer, she was actually crying silently, staining the white pillow beneath her head with a puddle of tears. I carefully sized her up, she looks nothing like the woman I’ve seen the last time, however, I think that if an average person falls down from the second floor, they would definitely look different than how they usually were when they hit the ground. So from the bottom of my heart, I forgive her inconsistent before and after looks.

Doctor Su said, "Miss Li, how are you feeling today?"

Miss Li remained motionless, tears were still trickling down her face, she raised her lips faintly, and managed to spit out three words, "Let me die."

Seriously, her request sounded so sincere that it makes one feel that if her request isn't fulfilled, it would be a matter of heaven and earth being witnesses to your conscience*. However, Doctor Su said that her shortcoming is that she lacks conscience, hence she readily refused her, "You're boyfriend hasn't come, if you wish to die, wait for him to arrive then attempt one more time." (T/N: Meaning heaven knows of what you did.)

I pulled back Doctor Su and said in a whisper, “Stop talking nonsense, if she complained about you what should we do?”

Doctor Su very comfortingly patted the back of my hand, "I'm used to it."

Miss Li no longer shed tears silently, she wailed and got up, "I'm already like this but he still didn't come to visit me, I wuwuwu…….."

"Could you please stop being noisy, it gives this jie a headache." Doctor Su said while holding her head, "Come, I'll introduce you to someone, this is the person you nearly landed unto when you jumped down from upstairs that day. She came to visit you."

I was somehow pushed to the front by Doctor Su, without any better option, I awkwardly forced a smile, "Ah, h.e.l.lo."

Miss Li spared me a quick glance, and said while sobbing, "Why did you come to see me?"

I guess I can't really say I'm only here to confirm that you haven't died, so I could sleep without getting nightmares. Hence, I could only reply, "I'm just here to see how well you've recovered."

"Is it any of your business?" She sobbed, "Are you here to watch a good show?"

To be thrown at by such question, I was a little bit embarra.s.sed and at a complete loss, I could only look at Doctor Su with a cry for help.

Doctor Su let out a yawn, "Why wouldn't it be any of her business? If there was a slight deviation to the parabolic curve of when you dropped, she could've been lying in bed with you today. Let me just say something, if you want to kill yourself, just please, pick somewhere environmental friendly, okay? If you really want to jump, place a sign downstairs, write 'This place has already been expropriated as a jumping area, if you cherish your life please take a detour.' and so on, don't accidentally injure a pa.s.ser-by."

I tried to cut her off in a hurry, "Don't provoke her, out of a doctor's goodness." (T/N: The literal translation for the phrase used was 'a doctor's parental heart')

Doctor Su waved his hands dismissively, "A parental heart also has ill tendencies, just look at the news and you'll see, you just have to bear with mine, besides, she's tough as nails, I won't be able to provoke her."

In the end who's really the one tougher than nails…….

Miss Li is unexpectedly this incredible, no matter how Doctor Su would push her b.u.t.tons, she can still find methods to go after me and asked, "I did not die, did that disappoint you?"

I hurriedly waved my hand, "No, no. I just thought there were so many people downstairs, yet you fell in front of me. It could be considered fate, so I came to see you, that's all.”

Miss Li probably felt that it was also fate, hence she no longer persistently interrogate me. She kept on mumbling endlessly to herself, the content was — 'I love him so much, I'm willing to die for him'."

I hate being at the side, watching others spit out malicious curses, mainly because I've watched too many TV dramas growing up, and it has caused a lot of residual effects on me. I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to stop my conditioned reflexes from rus.h.i.+ng over to cover up her mouth then say, "I will not allow you to curse yourself like this!"

Hence, I pulled Doctor Su and told her we were leaving, Doctor Su said, "I haven't given her a check-up yet." I turned around and watched as she put on a weird and incomprehensible look and then said, "Forget it, let's leave. Just by looking at her, it gives this jie a headache. I'm not in the mood to joke around anymore."

I already said that I felt that there was really something fishy about her today, it turns out that she hasn't bombarded me with her 'humor' yet.

When we were out of the patient's room, Doctor Su told me, "Right, my younger brother is leaving the country."

"Ah?"

"No matter how hard we try to persuade him, he wouldn't listen. Our mom has cried herself to death, scared that he'd suffer hards.h.i.+p for being alone in a foreign country."

I don't get it, "Going abroad is quite good, he'd learn things, and be able to broaden his horizons."

"The point is, he's going abroad with emotional wounds, what if he'd recklessly* commit suicide when no one's there to watch him attentively?" (T/N: The idiom used was "the mountains are high, the emperor is far away" meaning it's difficult to enforce the emperor's law on remote areas as they're far. In this case, Su Rui is free to do whatever pleases him without fear of interference as he is abroad.)

I shrunk down on my neck, "I'm sorry."

Doctor Su said, "It's alright, I'm just telling you ahead that my mom might look for a chance to have a chat with you these coming days."

"What?" I was so shocked that I kept on repeating every monosyllable that comes out of my mouth, "This…..this….no….no….okay…..okay…..I guess."

Asking the family head to do something ah, telling the mom ah, this sort of thing is really very shameless, but it truly is…….my Achilles' heel.

Droplets of cold sweat rolled down my back towards the waistline of my pants. The moist traces both created curve lines. I deluded myself into thinking that I really have nice curves.

Doctor Su smiled a cunning smile, "I'm just joking with you, my mom is very busy."

I didn't know how to react.

She added, "Moreover, my brother is also not going abroad, he said he's just going to find a young, pretty woman to make you angry."

I often think the so-called law is nothing else but human sentiment. For people such as Doctor Su, if I couldn’t help myself but exterminate her, the law ought to confer me a medal or something.

But my major is art and not law, so I couldn't guarantee for certain whether I'd be sentenced to prison once I kill her, I could only wave my hands goodbye as I go out of the hospital to take the bus.

I went home, forgetting about time for a moment. Jiang Chen would probably be able to come home at 1 in the morning.

Hence, I cooked instant noodles, carried it over and stayed five steps away from the computer as I watched an American series. Ever since I've knocked over a bowl of mung bean soup on the keyboard, I've completely understood when people say that liquids is the weight that a computer's life couldn't bear.

I've only eaten three mouthful of noodles, and the American series had only played its preview when my phone rang. I looked at it — it's Wu Bosong who vanished without a trace for a short while. Alright, as compared to him, I'm the one who vanished without a trace. When I'm in a relations.h.i.+p I only have eyes for the opposite gender and no heart for human nature. You can take reference as to how pathetic I am to have made zero good friends during my four years in university.

On the phone, Wu Bosong excitedly told me that he has fell in love with a woman, a real woman in that sense, different from me, a yellow-haired girl* type of woman. (T/N: A chit of a girl, one who likes to banter.)

To be honest, the probability of me being called a yellow-haired girl has already declined compared to a few years ago. So, I decided to ignore this misconception of him thinking that I'm not a woman in that sense.

I said, "You're going to be dating somebody eh? Then, who's going to take me out to eat when I get hungry in the future?

He said, "Your family's man." (T/N: "possessive p.r.o.noun + family's" is kind of an intimate way to refer to someone.)

"But he's very busy."

Wu Bosong laughed and said, "Then, you should curry favor with my family's woman, so that she won't eat your vinegar."

I said, "I really hate this 'my family's man or woman' expression the most, so disgusting."

He said, "Then how should we address them?"

"My family's husband, your family's wife; my family's honey, your family's sweetheart."

He was laughing his head off from the other side of the phone, I think the thing I like most about him is that he would laugh at every single one of my jokes even though they aren't funny.

I could hear the doorbell ringing over his laughter, I said, "Your doorbell is ringing."

He paused for a moment then said, "It's your doorbell."

I listened carefully, sure enough, it really is my doorbell. Forgive my outdated home, my doorbell would often fluctuate it’s ringing, sounding near and also sounding far, it's like being with a now hot, then now cold lover.

I took my phone and went to open the door. While I was about to open the door, we joked around, "It's unlikely that you'd be standing outside, preparing to kneel down and propose to me as soon as I open the door." "When you open the door, it's not a person standing there." I opened the door — it was Jiang Chen. I was thinking that at least, it's a person. Then I waited for two seconds to see if he would propose to me.

He didn't. He looked very dejected. So I decided to hang up Wu Bosong's call to tend to Jiang Chen. I firmly believe that Cla.s.smate Wu would be able to understand, he would put two and two together.

The 7-hour surgery was finished in just 2 hours. Even though I'm just a layman, I could roughly guess what has happened.

I thought that this time, a cup of tea of and a hug would be able to make me look like a good wife and a loving mother, hence I really did so, but I forgot to consider the environmental factors. For example, let's say, it's hot like a crazy summer night. For another example, let's say, my landlord who is a turtle's egg (b.a.s.t.a.r.d) didn't provide air-conditioning. And for another example, let's say, that I'm dripping in sweat right now……….in short, the route to being a 'good wife and loving mother' doesn't suit me.

Jiang Chen took my neck like he was holding an octopus to pull me away from his body. He also prevented me from almost using hot tea to help him bathe. In the end, he held me down on both shoulders and said, "Can you stay still!"

“But I want to help you.”

He let go of me, and laid me down on the couch, “Just stand there and don’t move, you don’t have to do anything.”

He crossed his hands at the back of his head, his eyes were just staring at me without blinking.

I was thinking, ‘Cla.s.smate Jiang, stop looking at people like that. In any case, our relations.h.i.+p has already became ‘adult’. Staring at me with such a simple, meaningful glance yet I feel like my mouth is dry and my tongue is parched from desire, and the heat is burning my body, I truly feel so impure.’