[1] 打醬油: literally buying soy sauce. It mean usually that the child is actually old enough to go out alone, so already not a baby but not a teenager.

[2] 溫水煮青蛙: using warm water to cook a frog. It implies that somebody is proceeding slowly with their plans, as it would be much faster to cook a frog with hot water. If you use warm water, the frog won’t try to escape, but if you put the frog in boiling water, it will.

[3] 巫山雲雨: 巫山(Mount Wu) 雲雨 (Clouds and rain) is the literal meaning. However, 雲雨 also implies s.e.xual intercourse.

[4] There is 糠師傅 and 康師傅 (both spelt kang shi fu). However, the first is a knockoff of the second, which is a very large food brand and company in China.

[5] The gas is carbon dioxide. So simpler than breathing.

[6] 老婆本: lao po ben. It’s the amount of wealth that a man “needs” to have, which usually includes a car, a house and other possessions, before a woman would most likely consider marrying him. It has developed in modern China due to the rise in house prices as well as the increased cost of living and education for children. In China, if a man doesn’t have enough, the family of the female would not agree to the marriage.

Chapter Thirty One Meiren Shixiong

System: “Lei Shen Ni Ni, Yi Xiao Nai He, Lu Wei Wei Wei, Zhen Shui Wu Xiang, Xiao Yu Yao Yao has saved the weak, killed monsters and defeated the Ancient Crone of the Netherworld. They had saved the world, their deeds to be carved into history and shock all of jianghu

World:

[Mo Chuang Zhang]: Did I read it wrong?

[SCPanda]: Whao, the system had a bug!

[Nu Nu . . .]: Played for this long, only found out today that this game lets names be repeated.

[Mo Dao Shi Xue]: What is this! I was chopped all that time for nothing!

[Wu Di Ben Dao]: Wife, let’s get back together. These people could fight a boss together, we have no reason to not be together! Please, please, Wifey, I love you!

[Bu Chuan Ku Ku Hao Liang Shuang]: Kao, I just went to wash underwear. Can’t even keep up.

[SCPanda]: Shock. Liang Shuang xiong you actually have underwear!

[Bu Chuan Ku Ku Hao Liang Shuang]: . . . . . .

[Bu Chuan Ku Ku Hao Liang Shuang]: Those that don’t have underwear are urchins. Those that have but do not wear them are heroes.

[SCPanda]: Why wash if you don’t wear them?

[Bu Chuan Ku Ku Hao Liang Shuang]: Why are you so concerned about my underwear? What intentions do you have!

[Dong Nang Zhi Shang]: Guys . . . for flirting please use private chat . . . . . otherwise the audience might get embarra.s.sed.

Team:

[Lu Wei Wei Wei]: Ni Ni, we’re going, If you have something, call me. If I’m not there, just find Nai He ^_^

[Lei Shen Ni Ni]: Ah!!! Really?!!!

[Yi Xiao Nai He]: Yes.

[Lu Wei Wei Wei]: ^_^, we’re going, 8

[Lei Shen Ni Ni]: Wait, we haven’t divided the drop yet.

The atmosphere in the caves was weird enough that Wei Wei didn’t want to stay anymore. She retreated along with Nai He before Ni Ni divided the drop. She looked at the silent musician beside her and asked: “What should we go now?”

“Give me a second, on the phone.”

Phone?

Wei Wei thought of a certain possibility, “Uh, you weren’t, where you fighting when on the phone?”

Wei Wei swore, she was only casually asking. But Da Shen’s very natural “En” as though it was expected shocked her completely. It was true … …

Wei Wei concentrated for a beat and couldn’t imagine it: “…. …How were you controlling with one hand?”

“… … earphones.”

Right, you could use earphones to take calls. Wei Wei said: “Then you continue.”

She hadn’t planned on being online for this long but Wei Wei’s head didn’t have the worlds “coming offline” in there. What was occupying s.p.a.ce was the image of Da Shen wearing headphones, expression calm as he listened to the call. To be on the phone and at the same time do that kind of moves at the same time. Da Shen, by some standards, was strong to the point of impossibility.

Wei Wei stared in a daze at the red and white shadows sitting together side by side, her red dress floating in the wind.

A few moments later, the musician said: “Wei Wei, I need to go to Shanghai tomorrow.”

It was only eleven, but the cafeteria near the library already flooded with long lines. Wei Wei and her friends were at the very end. Looking at the crowd in front of them, she could only sigh.

Er Xi was right behind her and laughed tauntingly: “Hey hey hey. Even if yourDa Shen isn’t here, you don’t have to sigh because of eating with us!”

Wei Wei had heard this multiple times already when they had been studying together this morning. She ignored Er Xi and arched her neck to see what the food choices were today.

Er Xi saw that she wasn’t responding and even more provokingly asked: “Wei Wei, what base has you and your Da Shen proceeded to?”

Wei Wei turned her head, “… … We’ve only met for a week, okay!”

Si Si came over: “You guys met for two hours and confirmed your relationship. Based on that speed, getting together for a week, the kids can be buying soy sauce.” [1]

“… …” Wei Wei: “Well, there is nothing, I don’t know where the soy sauce store is right now.”

Xiao Ling didn’t believe her: “No way, or is Xiao Da Shen planning on using warm water to cook the frog.”[2]

Wei Wei >_

Xiao Ling felt it was more reasonable the more she thought about it, “It’s true, it’s definitely this. First, it is using a large fire to boil the water, and then a small flame to slowly boil. Sooner or later, this frog of yours will be eaten!”

Er Xi also found a taste of truth: “Very reasonable. Da Shen’s battle strategy is probably this. First a blitzkrieg, and now it’s trench warfare. Hehehehe.” Her expression was very perverted, “Wei Wei, when are you guys going to have a battle of attrition!”

Si Si agreed and said: “Yeah. First is a tropic rainstorm to confuse your sense of direction. Then it’s a warm breeze and drizzles to mess with your head, after that, what kind of rain is it?”

Si Si tried to think of the next. Wei Wei’s mind came up suddenly with ––

Wu Shan Clouds and Rain. [3]

……

Wei Wei embarra.s.sed herself with her own thoughts.

Er Xi was still emphasizing: “Attrition battle, battle of attrition. Attrition, attrition.”

Wei Wei and the others hadn’t understood what she was implying. However, a certain male student in the line behind them had let out a sound.

Four pairs of eyes turned to look.

It was a tall male student. He had a baby face, very large eyes, looking like a high school student. He had been trying to following behind them earlier stealthily. Er Xi and the others had seen many of this type before when with Wei Wei. They all had the intentions but not the bravery so the girls didn’t pay attention.

That student’s white face instantly turned red as they stared. He scratched his head, and embarra.s.sedly said to Wei Wei: “Haha, sansao, I’m Mo Zha Ta.”

Wei Wei descended into chaos.

Mo Zha Ta? Hao Mei? Da Shen’s dormmate! The one she knew?! No! Wei Wei glared. What they had been discussing before, he had heard all of it?! Ahahah, that was so embarra.s.sing.

And … …

Wei Wei thought back to how Mo Zha Ta had described himself. Supposedly blacker than coal. She looked at the white face of this person before her … …

Wei Wei fell into a fury.

Very good, this person from beginning to end didn’t say the truth. Yesterday, he had given her fake intelligence. Wei Wei added the new hate to the old enmity, and smile very friendly at him, slowly saying: “So it is ––Mei––ren––shi––xiong”

And so … …

Under the shocked eyes of everybody around, Mo Zha Ta’s white and tender baby face totally warped.

Multiple minutes later, Mo Zha Ta was in a certain dark corner of the cafeteria chewing on lettuce. He furiously took out his phone to complain to a certain someone: Your wife is flirting with me.

Very quickly, a certain somebody returned: Enjoy it, I don’t mind.

Mo Zha Ta almost threw up blood.

It had to be said, on the matter of two certain somebody’s ability to incite people into a blinding fury, it was really a thousand miles apart, a meeting of minds.

The whole day, there was no news from Xiao Nai. At night, Wei Wei returned from studying and couldn’t resist going online. Xiao Nai obviously wasn’t on but Wei Wei went to their house. She moved around the furniture, watered the plants in the garden and walked around a few times.

A while later Yu Gong and the others came online. Wei Wei met up with them, gave Yu Gong and Hou Zi Jiu their new shenshou. They started fighting and talked aimlessly.

Yu Gong: “Kang shifu’s new instant noodles aren’t very good.”

Wei Wei: “There are imitation brands for instant noodles?”

Hou Zi Jiu: “He is a pig so he eats Kang shifu, we eat Kangshifu.”[4]

Yu Gong: “Ugh, can’t compare to laosan. He’s now away, fine wine at hand, surrounded by beauties.”

Wei Wei: “… …”

Mo Zha Ta had lost to Wei Wei today and was trying persistently to create conflict: “Sansao, don’t get angry. When he returns, we’ll help you educate him.”

Wei Wei: “>o

Wei Wei: “Yu Gong used idioms correctly this time.”

Yu Gong feel hurt: “I didn’t even use idioms!”

Wei Wei: “We can’t presume too much from you. Four characters together counts as an idiom… …”

Yu Gong; “Actually, this thing, idiom, has become a psychological trauma since my childhood.”

Ho Zi Jiu: “How is psychological trauma different from a perverted mental mind?”

Yu Gong ignored him and hurtfully narrated: “Does everybody know that idiom “Foolish Man Moving the mountain”, it’s about an old man leading his entire family to dig every single day … ….”

Wei Wei hurried stopped him from going over basic elementary school education: “We know, no need to explain.”

Yu Gong: “Oh, good thing you know. You know I’m called Yu Ban Shan, so I kept saying the idiom as Yu Gong Ban Shan. It was due to that I got punished by the Chinese teach many times (flames of fury)”

Hou Zi Jiu: “… … Why is your trauma even more simpler than me releasing a harmful gas.”[5]

Mo Zha Ta; “… … So dumbness starts from childhood.”

Wei Wei: “I’m generous, I won’t say anything … …”

Yu Gong very pathetically went to the corner to grow mushrooms.

Mo Zha Ta didn’t give up and kept questioning Wei Wei: “Sansao, you’re really trusting laosan? Shanghai is such a world of sensual pleasure, the drinking parties are like waves in the sea.”

Wei Wei: “Didn’t he go to update Feng Teng’s software systems?”

Mo Zha Ta was shocked: “Sansao you know!”

Of course she knew.

Da Shen’s airplane was eight thirty. He actually managed to take her out at seven for breakfast. In pa.s.sing, he reported his itinerary and the length of his trip.

And then he had unhurriedly left.

“Sanso, you only know the first, but not the second. He doesn’t need to go there physically to update.” Hou Zi Jiu said: “Apparently Feng Teng’s CEO is helping laosan get a big client, so he had temporarily leave.”

Yu Gong was revived: “Hehe, if he gets this client, laosan’s would have hislaopoben.”[6]

Mo Zha Ta cooperated with him, pretending to be very surprised: “You need this much for a laopoben?!”

Yu Gong added: “He wanted to marry the faculty beauty. It’s a faculty beauty.”

Wei Wei wanted to grind her teeth. But facing “not Da Shen” people’s taunts, Wei Wei hadn’t lost before. She sent a smiley face and said: “No two ways about it, Da Shen doesn’t have ambitions, doesn’t want to marry a rich woman.”

Yu Gong: “. . . . .”

A minute later, far away at a drinking engagement, a certain somebody’s cellphone received another complaint: “Your wife is bullying me.”

Imperceptibly putting the phone back into the pocket, Xiao Na’s mouth was relaxed.

It looked like, a certain someone, even when he wasn’t there, was living pretty happily.

But, far away at B City, a certain happy somebody very quickly became a tragic somebody. It started with Er Xi letting: “Oh my G.o.d, Wei Wei, get on the university forums.”