Note: while the assertion that ones friends are an anchor held up to examination, said individuals (either dead or alive) seem no more effective in that purpose than a stone anchor of the same weight. The popularity of the saying remains baffling.

Extract from the journal of Dread Emperor Malignant II

With seven expectant gazes remaining peeled on me, I was starting to feel a mite cornered. Just a mite, mind you. Id gotten out of tighter corners than this through cunning use of diplomacy.

I was, I began, perhaps less than correct.

Without missing a beat the crowd began to boo me, and that vicious little wretch Robber even threw something at me over the fire. I didnt quite manage to catch it but it slid into a fold of my cloak and I picked it up there. I blinked, finding a rather fancy glass eye looking back at me. Where had he even no, I didnt want to know. It had to be someone of stature, though, part of it was painted but there was also coloured glass and thatd expensive as all No, if I asked then he won. Id get Hakram to find out later. Still, I pocketed the eye without any qualms. He could make a tidy little sum from selling that, if he got around to it, so wed just call this a pre-emptive fine. Hells, maybe I could get General Abigail to believe Id had one of those on the whole time.

Do the apology, at least, Aisha called out, too well-bred to grin but with suspiciously twitching lips.

I sighed.

Archer, I began, ignoring Indranis enthusiastic affirmation of thats me, you know, you peerless beauty whose approval I secretly crave, and thats why Im so mean to you-

That sounds about right, Hakram gravely agreed.

The filthy traitor. I was surrounded by treachery of the worst tonight.

- I retract any implication that you are incapable of abstract mathematics, I valiantly soldiered on. There. Finished.

There was a heartbeat of silence. Masego, swaddled in a rather unnecessary amount of blankets, leaned towards Adjutant.

Is it on purpose that she did not apologize at any point in that sentence? Zeze asked.

Godsdamnit, now even Masego was getting in on it. The little shit absolutely did know that Id done it on purpose, I pulled this on him all the ah, and suddenly his sordid betrayal made a little more sense.

Ask to be made a countess, Juniper suggested to Indrani. Even odds shed take that over actually saying the word apologize.

That was a lie. I wouldnt go any further up the ladder than baroness to get out of this. Honorary, mind you, not landed. I shuddered to think of what Archer might get up to with regular tax revenue.

I apologize all the time, I protested.

I got a few skeptical looks in return.

Heres one for the road, then, I sneered. Im sorry youre all so thin-skinned you need apologies in the first place.

Alas, the resuming of the loud booing was the herald of diplomacys failure. Sometimes, I sadly reflected, the other side simply wasnt willing to take the very generous and reasonable terms you offered them. That was not on you, it was on them, I reminded myself. Robber once more tossed something at me, though this time I caught it it was, to my surprise, another glass eye. Just as prettily made, although the heft was lighter and oh Night the iris was brown on this one instead of blue. And angled in the opposite direction, implying my Special Tribune might have murdered not one but two foreign highborn officers just so he could use their glass eye as toy. For once the actual specifics of something hed done had managed to surprise me, though the spirit of the affair I was painfully familiar with. I pocketed it too, because the little bastard would have hit me with it on the chin if I hadnt caught it. It was decided by a tribunal of the people that I would have last pick of a cut from the pig that was nearly done roasting, my threats to have them all tried for treason leaving the unruly mob indifferent. Truly, they had gone mad with power.

Juniper insisted on making the cuts herself when shed judged the meat properly roasted, ignoring Indranis protests that it should have another quarter hour of being turned with spices sprinkled on the searing fat. I sided with the Hellhound, half out of spite for Indrani knowing all about Stygian abstracts when shed been raised in the middle of the damned woods and half because I rather did miss the taste of a pig roasted in the College way: mostly unseasoned, and still juicy the way orcs preferred meat to be if it couldnt be bleeding outright. Adjutant squatted by the fire with plates while Robber was charged with bringing the communal plate of biryani. Aisha was, to my mild amusement, the first to receive a plate and by sheer coincidence got some of the choicest cuts. Masego requested belly meat and the Marshal of Callow allowed him a fat slice, which Robber claimed to be blatant favoritism, and as bickering exploded I reached for my pipe with a smothered smile. Indrani sidled up to me casually, leaning on my shoulder like a pest as I stuffed and lit a packet of wakeleaf.

Were missing some people, Archer said.

Her tone wasnt quiet, not exactly, but it was pitched not to carry.

Vivienne will come when shes done with the Jacks, I said. Whenever that happens to be.

Not who I meant, she replied.

I craned back my neck just to glance at her. Indrani looked down at me, eyes serious, though face to face like this I felt the urge to kiss her. I set aside the impulse.

Akua cant really be here if Vivienne is, I murmured. And if shes allowed to sit with us just until Vivienne arrives thats worse than not being invited, Id wager.

Not the last because it made plain the tensions between my appointed successor and the monster Id absurdly enough come to like and more importantly, rely on. I could expect Akua to take such a situation with a degree of elegance, if not necessarily enthusiasm under the mask, but I doubted Vivienne would be so agreeable.

I think theyd both surprise you, Indrani said. Its personal, between them, but our little thief also knows a thing or two about sitting around a fire with people you were trying to kill not so long ago. Still, once more not who I was speaking of.

Ah. Her. I lowered my head and breathed in through the shaft of my pipe, the acrid smoke filling my throat and my lungs. I let the taste and warmth of it stick with me, and only then breathed out a long stream. I should learn to do tricks, I decided. With the smoke.

I bet Hakrams been tiptoeing around it all careful-like, she drawled. Like he doesnt want to needle tender skin. But youre made of rougher stuff than that, arent you?

Tiptoeing wasnt the right way to put it. A perch had been offered, on occasion, and my refusal to grasp it had seen the matter implicitly closed without it ever being outright put into words.

Youd know, I murmured, not wagging my eyebrows but conveying the sentiment by voice. Although its been a while, so maybe you forgot.

Godsdamn, Archer whistled, sounding impressed. You never get that racy where people might hear. You really dont want to talk about it, do you?

Theres nothing to talk about, I stiffly said. She declined twice, I dont see the need to keep inviting her.

I wasnt a bloody widower in desperate need of a second wife, in so dire a bind Id buy a white stallion and learn to recite Valencian poetry just to impress. Cordial disregard suited me just fine, and to be honest it was probably safer for her. Enemies wouldnt bother going after a love affair gone cold if trying to get to me, not when there were deeper and more obvious bindings in my life.

You wont even say her name, Indrani grunted, undertone amused. Yeah, youre totally over how that went down. How dare I suggest otherwise.

Senior Mage Kilian can be fetched, if you require it so deeply, I replied in a clipped tone. If she declines, shall I have dragged in chains? She doesnt fucking want to be here, Indrani.

Its a bad habit, that thing you do, Archer seriously said. When if its not a blade at your throat, you let relationships stay ambiguous by doing nothing. Bet she might have changer her tune, if youd let a few more months pass before asking again.

Its been quite a bit longer than that, I coldly said. I wont open up a casket just so you can sate your curiosity, Drani.

Oh, that ones probably cracked beyond mending, she casually replied. But it doesnt have to be that way all around. Send for Akua. And make her stay, even when Vivienne joins.

My eyes narrowed.

You dont give a shit about Kilian, do you? I said. You just wanted me to feel raw enough Id agree to this.

The ochre-skinned woman grinned, sharp and pale.

Sure, Indrani admitted. But that doesnt mean it isnt true.

We should have gotten her started on the liquor earlier, I darkly thought. Might have spared me all this. I turned to meet her gaze, unflinching, until our silence was interrupted by Hakram sliding a plate full of pork and biryani on my lap. He glanced at us, dark eyes missing nothing.

Juniper cracked open a bottle of aragh, Adjutant said. Or do you two need to take a walk?

Nah, Indrani smiled. Aragh sounds good. Were done here.

She broke our stare first, strolling away nonchalantly, and Hakram cocked a hairless brow at me in her wake. Underestimating them both, was I? I doubted it, but beyond that assertion I saw a truth shed not mentioned. If there was going to be strife, when would we next have so relatively safe a moment to handle it? Certainly not in Salia, or up north fighting the dead. Fuck. I really hated it when Indrani pulled the whole incisive insight thing on me, but now that I knew I was taking a greater risk by not handling this now I couldnt really justify not doing it. Knowing Archer had manoeuvred me didnt make it any less effective.

Invite Akua up, I sighed.

He cocked his head to the side.

Ought to make for an interesting evening, he simply said.

Adjutant moved away, boots crinkling against the icing snow, to tread downslope until hed cross the wards and send one of the legionaries to pass the message along. Ah well, it wasnt even guaranteed shed come. I glanced down at my plate and frowned.

Tenderloin? I called out at Juniper. Really, the tenderloin? I should have you hanged.

I saw Indrani pout and flip Robber a silver as Aisha hid a smile behind her hand.

Let me go halfsies with Aishas cuts, I wheedled.

Robber cursed in Taghrebi and flipped back the silver to Indrani, who took an overly showy bow. No one seemed particularly inclined to consider my suggestion, the bastards.

None of you are ever becoming a countess, mark my words, I bitterly said, and dug into my pork.

Pickler passed me the bottle of aragh, though, so maybe at least one of them would make it to baroness.

My wakeleaf was half-finished by the time Akua glided her way through the raised stones of the Mavian prayer. Shed chosen a rather conservative appearance, by her standards: a high-waisted dress with a long ruffled skirt, in red and yellow touched by eldritch patterns of gold brocade. Given that it was long-sleeved and went up to the beginning of her neck, it was one of the tamer things Id seen her wear. Still, it was well-fitted and on a woman who looked like Akua Sahelian did that was enough to draw a lingering second look. I puffed out a mouthful of smoke as she approached the fire, bowing slightly towards me as she came to warm hands that needed no warmth against the roaring fire. I nodded back, and both of us pretended not to notice every conversation had died the moment she arrived. I took a moment to study reactions Indrani was pleased, Hakram pleasant and Masego staring with fascination at her torso? Must have been an arcane pattern that interested him. Those Id anticipated rather well, though, so it was the others that got me curious. Robber was grinning, one of those needle-filled offerings that meant amusement so sharp it might as well have been spite. Pickler was indifferent, though the way shed shuffled on the bench implied surprise and maybe a little curiosity. Aisha had put on the highborn face, a mask of pleasantry so perfect if might as well have been made of marble. Her I wouldnt get much out of unless I asked. Junipers face was disgruntled, and without any hint of the respect Id expected an orc to bear for someone whod faced more than half the armies of Praes and Callow on the field without flinching.

Robber would test her, then, which I wasnt all that worried about. Juniper, though? Contempt might be more dangerous there than antipathy and I suspected that was the way she was leaning.

Spooky Saddie, sit your ass down, Archer called out. Youre not fooling anyone with the warming hands thing, youre a damned ghost.

How have you not run out of those by now? I said, reluctantly impressed. Also, shade. Shade is the word you were looking for.

What can I say, Indrani mused, blitherly ignoring my correction, Im just a giver at heart.

She has a list, Akua slyly said. She keeps it in her arrow-bag and her next one is Revenant Rags.

Archer spluttered out it was lie, Robber cackled loudly before swearing to steal it and just like that the spell of silence was broken. Conversations resumed. Wasteland highborn, huh. I suspected shed be on decent terms with half the people here before the night was out. She had a knack for charming others, even those who should know better. I let the warm chatter wash over me as I leaned back into my seat and smoked my pipe, following the threads of two different conversations at the same time. Juniper and Pickler had dragged a highly amused Indrani into a debate about whether or not her bow, due to its ridiculous size and the way her arrows were closer to javelins, was still a bow or in fact an exotic siege weapon. Picklers insistence that it was a derivative of a ballista by any reasonable set of principles ran into Junipers flat reminder that she draws the string, with her arm, because its a bow, while Archers insistence that while she was a trebuchet in the sack she was also handy with a string did absolutely nothing to help.

Robber was spinning an elaborate yarn about smuggling an ass a donkey, not the other kind in a cadet-captains room back his War College days for the benefit of a seemingly amused Akua, with the occasional dry correction by Hakram. Masego and Aisha, significantly more sober than most people around this fire, were discussing whether the old Alamans legends about the morions, barrow and underground-dwelling creatures that had a rapacious hunger for gold, silver and jewels, were an extinct people or simply dwarf-sightings made legend by the passing of time. It seemed the subject was of particular interest to Aisha, because I was bestowed the rare sight of Hierophant knowing visibly less about a subject than his interlocutor. As the one of the few people here whod actually seen and spoken with dwarves I contributed a few details, though mostly I enjoyed the sensation of closest thing to home Id felt in a very long time. Still, I was not so much at ease Id not kept an eye and ear on where the first knife would come from. And as expected, two yarns later Robber turned a sharp grin and sharper words on Akua.

Mind you, the fun didnt end when we left Ater, he drawled. There was this one time this was when you were still Governess in Laure, before we murdered your every ally and broke everything you ever strove for when the Boss sent me south to kill your buddies as they moved west. Would have kept it up for even longer, except I was torturing this guy named Mulin who claimed to be under your protection and-

Akuas brow rose.

Mulin, she said. Would you happen to mean Mulade Humin, by any chance?

Friend of yours? Robber grinned.

No, but the Lady of Salizan sent a carts worth of gold ingots with him, Akua mused. Never did get these. He was the heir to the holdings, so his mother was rather cross, but I did wonder what had happened to him.

Borer slit his throat, the goblin said. And Im not saying we ate him, but Hells we were low on rations and if its Wasteland highborn anything goes, right?

He was, I thought, looking to shock her. To get a reaction out of her. But then Robber had known little of the Empires high nobility, save when standing against them on a battlefield. As a student in the War College, he would have been considered under the protection of my father back in the day who was known to brutally murder any highborn meddling with the College, and quite publicly at that. He believedt he knew what Akua Sahelian would be like, I thought, but he rather didnt.

Was he a screamer? she asked.

Robber blinked.

When you tortured him, Akua clarified, was he a screamer? Because theres been these persistent rumours about the Humin-

Oh, come off it, Aisha interrupted. Even if spice birds did exist, which no one has ever proved-

Theres Miezan records, Bishara, Akua solemnly said.

By Calavia, the Taghreb replied, sounding deeply offended. The same hack who wrote about giant crabs living in the Wasaliti and insisted the Blessed Isle was a nest for crocodiles that spoke riddles in High Tyrian. She wrote to entertain patricians in Mieza, not as true historian.

I cant comment on Calavias accuracy in all things, Akua said, yet I once shared a table with Mulade Humin when we were nine, and by the noises he made when I ate the last spice cookies youd think I ate his firstborn using only forks.

Is it me, or is it kind of titillating when those two argue about things? Indrani pensively asked.

Godsdamnit, Archer. If youre going to say things like that, at least say something I dont kind of agree with deep down. So both of them were rather good looking, and them getting heated over debate was a good look. It wasnt my fault I had eyes! Still, best not to say that. Akua hardly needed the encouragement and trying to get Aisha into bed had terrible idea written all over for all sorts of reasons. I set aside the distracting though but focusing on more practical matters. The more the two of them spoke, I saw, the more out of his depth Robber looked. I sympathized, but then trying to take the shade on in courtly games like this was not the wisest choice hed ever made. Id seen few people outright chew through Akua when it came to this, Vivienne most vividly coming to mind. Even Blacks attempt to humiliate and terrorize her into doing something unwise by making her nail her own hand to a table had not borne the fruit hed wanted it to, back in the day, and Akua in those years had been nowhere as smooth as she now was. Without having ever drawn blood as he meant to Robber was turned aside, and the conversations moved on. When lively debate over the kind of riddles in High Tyrian a talking crocodile might have feasibly asked Archer, the filthy show off, started quoting riddles from Tyrant and the Fool in the plays original tradertalk, a tongue that had common Baalite roots I found Aisha elegantly sitting at my side.

My queen, Staff Tribune Aisha Bishara said.

I thought Id trained you out of that, I sighed.

Its been some time, she smiled. And this is a serious enough affair.

My brow rose, and I decided to pass the last of the aragh to a distracted Hakram instead of drinking it.

Im listening, I said.

Aishas lips thinned, then she leaned forward and lowered her voice.

Do you mean, she softly asked, for Akua Sahelian to be Dread Empress of Praes?