* * *
In truth, Violet had not taken her previous fall into the lake seriously.
One might think it careless not to take a near-death experience seriously, but she thought it was fine since she hadnt died.
The last time she fell into the water, she didnt resist on purpose.
She didnt even try to float to the surfaceshe just closed her eyes, hoping to sink indefinitely.
But this time was different.
The fear of death overwhelmed her.
She tried to move her arms and legs to swim, but her body wouldnt respond as she wanted.
She could do nothing. Fear rose from the depths of her emotions, stealing her breath away.
She thought she was okay, but she wasnt, really.
!
Someone called out to her desperately.
As she struggled to breathe and her consciousness faded, Violet saw a hand reaching out to her.
.
.
.
When Violet regained consciousness, the first thing she saw was the sun still high in the sky.
It seemed not much time had passed.
As she sat up, she felt the cloth covering her body. Next to the well-kept grass, the azure lake shone as if nothing had happened.
Im all wet.
Violet thought calmly for someone who had nearly died.
The wind felt cold, probably because she was wet.
Are you awake?
As Violet blankly stared into space, a familiar voice came from the side.
Turning her gaze, she saw Rajaden, similarly soaked, chin on one hand while looking at her.
Ive called for people to come, theyll arrive soon. Im sorry, thats all I can offer.
With that, Violet looked down at herself. A coat was laid over her body.
Such extravagant clothing belonged to few, so it surely was Rajadens.
Im sorry.
Looking away from Violet, Rajaden spoke with a voice that seemed to have lost its strength.
I just wanted to show you the beautiful lake There was no other intention.
Violet, unsure of what he was saying, briefly met his gaze and sighed softly, Ah.
Bringing someone who had already nearly drowned in a lake before was indeed foolish.
Really, there was no other meaning to it. I just thought it would be nice to look at the lake together.
I understand.
At Violets response, Rajadens gaze lingered on her before hastily looking away.
Violet responded matter-of-factly, knowing there was no deeper meaning, but his condition seemed anything but simple.
He appeared anxious and downcast, not at all characteristic of a man who had lived believing himself to be above all others.
Was he acting this way out of guilt?
Violet pondered as she observed Rajaden closely.
Shedding his outerwear to reveal just a thin shirt was not a typical appearance for the crown prince.
Exploiting someone elses guilt would be something she might expect from him, but Rajaden wasnt the type to harbor guilt himself, This deepened Violets confusion even further.
Rajaden dropped his head and laughed, a bitter laugh.
I didnt mean to mock you.
His manner of speaking seemed precarious.
Violet was puzzled by his seemingly guilt-ridden appearance.
Why are you saying this to me?
It was a truly innocent and naive question without a hint of ulterior motive, and he wished she hadnt asked.
Rajaden swept his face with his palm at Violets question, an action unbefitting the arrogant crown prince, causing her eyes to flicker slightly.
Are you asking because you truly dont know why?
If you dont say it directly, your true feelings wont be conveyed.
At her response, Rajaden roughly rubbed his face with his hands again.
If his intent was to make someone miserable, Violet had chosen a very effective method.
Im sorry.
What came out of his mouth was another meager apology.
He had already apologized once and made excuses, but he said it again.
Listening to the crown prince like this, Violet couldnt help but frown slightly.
The answer she sought wasnt an apology.
Why was he acting this way. Why was he behaving strangely. What she wanted to know was the reason behind it all.
Violet, who was not the type to presume to understand others hearts through conjecture, looked down.
Seeing this, Rajaden grimaced and laughed hollowly.
If he were to express his feelings for her now, the future would predictably be bleak.
It would be no different from sabotaging any chance he might have had.
He was clear about his feelings towards her.
The name this emotion would eventually take was predetermined.
If he confessed his feelings now and was rejected by her, even he couldnt be sure of what would follow.
Unless he was a fool, he wouldnt waste the scarce opportunity he had just managed to find.
His already scant score seemed destined to be further reduced.
Rajaden looked back to the moment Violet fell into the lake.
How eternal and terrifying that brief moment felt.