"Ummm, that's a lot of lettuce," he said, unable to help wondering why he was staring down at a large plate piled high with semi-wilted iceberg lettuce.

"Yes, yes it is," Marybeth easily agreed.

"Why exactly am I looking at a plate of lettuce?" he couldn't help but ask.

"Because you looked hungry," she explained sweetly.

"I'm a Bradford, sweetheart. We're always hungry," he needlessly reminded her, picking up a small piece of wilted lettuce that had fallen on the table and tossed it back on top of the pile.

"True, but you looked especially hungry tonight," she said, making him frown as he looked up to find her watching him with an oddly triumphant gleam in her eye, the same gleam that- "Oh, shit," he gasped, shoving his chair back as he got to his feet and headed for the exit, which was unfortunately over a hundred yards away and currently blocked by two little kids, a group of old ladies and some guy pausing in the middle of the aisle to take a sip of his drink.

Knowing that he'd never make it to the exit before his vicious wife dared him to do something that would probably destroy a piece of his soul, he made a split second decision and headed towards the bathroom located in the back of the restaurant. It wasn't a permanent solution, but it should at least save his ass and give him a chance to figure out a way to leave the restaurant before- "Hand me my walker, dear?" an old woman with the kindest smile asked as she slowly stood up and blocked his only means of escape.

Shit...

"What's the rush?" the evil woman that he loved more than anything asked, clearly taking great pleasure in stretching this out.

He considered jumping over the table and saying the hell with it, but he knew that he would never make it in time. Sighing, he closed his eyes in defeat and muttered, "Just do it."

"And limit my joy in getting you back for the past month? I'm not really sure that I can do that," she said with relish, clearly enjoying the moment while he struggled to come up with a dare that would save his ass, but he wasn't fast enough.

"Fine," she said, sighing heavily. "If I must. I double dare you to stay here until they throw you out."

Well.....that really wasn't so bad, he thought, turning around as he tried to hide his relief. Maybe she was losing her touch after all these years. This was probably the lamest dare that she'd ever come up with, daring him to do something that he would normally do anyway. She was definitely losing her touch, he decided as he sat back down. He picked up his fork and dug into his food, but just as he was about to take a bite of mashed potatoes his world came crashing down around him.

"Did I fail to mention that this double dare consisted of you eating nothing but lettuce for the next seven hours?"

"Wow, I'm stuffed. How about you?" she asked, knowing that it probably was a bad idea to keep taunting him, but she really just couldn't help herself.

There really was something about getting back at the bastard that gave her such pleasure, she decided as she made a big show of scooping up another bite of chocolate cream pie and bringing it halfway to her mouth only to set it back down on her plate with a sad shake of her head and a little sigh.

"You're going to pay for this," Darrin practically snarled as he stabbed his fork in what had to be his thirtieth helping of lettuce. Keeping his glare locked on her, he shoved the forkful of wilted lettuce in his mouth and chewed.

"How's that lettuce working out for you?"

He paused mid-chew as his eyes narrowed on her and she knew, just knew, that he was imagining all the violent things that he'd like to do to her. So, of course she picked up her phone and snapped another picture.

"Hmm, that was a good one," she mumbled, noting how the phone was able to pick up the murderous gleam in his eyes.

Ah, memories...

"You're going to pay for this," he repeated, practically shaking with rage.

She considered pointing out that she'd graciously allowed him to have a delicious glass of tap water with his meal, but decided against it since something in his expression told her that it was probably a bad idea. Actually, now that she thought about it, it would probably be for the best if she left now since the restaurant was closing in an hour. It would give her enough time to run back to the hotel, switch her room and buy some supplies just in case she was forced to lay low for a few days.

With that in mind, she stood up, noting the way that he watched her every move, and grabbed her bag. "Well, it's been fun, but I'm afraid that I have to be going now."

"Marybeth," he snarled in warning.

If only she knew when to stop when she was ahead, she thought, shaking her head sadly as she looked over to Danny's table to find it empty. She glanced around the busy restaurant until she spotted him with his girlfriend at the far end of the buffet, waiting in line at the meat carving station.

She really shouldn't do this, mostly because it was probably going to get her killed, but...

She really couldn't help herself.

After watching Danny for a few more seconds to make sure that he wasn't going to turn around, she shifted her attention back to the man that she loved to torment. There was just something so wrong with enjoying playing with fire, and she was definitely playing with fire, she thought as she threaded her fingers through his hair, leaned down and did the one thing that she'd missed the most over the past month.

She kissed him.

Chapter 26.

The Next Day...

"Morning!"

I'm going to kill her....

Not Jodi, even though her annoyingly chipper attitude demanded some form of retribution, but she wasn't the one who had done this to him. No, the woman that he wanted to throttle was none other than his beautiful wife. He could have forgiven her for screwing him over at the buffet, but the way that she'd left him, desperate, hard and eager to do anything to get her naked beneath him had guaranteed revenge.

That kiss...that fucking kiss...

She'd surprised him with that kiss, knocking him on his ass when she'd leaned down and threaded her fingers through his hair as she took his mouth in a kiss that left him panting and desperate for more. By the time he'd reached for her, it had been too late. The fucking tease had jumped back out of his reach, knowing that he was in no shape to follow after her.

He'd been forced to sit there, panting and praying desperately that his cock would settle down quickly so that he could go after her. He'd watched as the smiling woman with the beautifully flushed cheeks had sauntered out of the restaurant, her ass swaying enticingly, guaranteeing that he wouldn't be able to follow after her anytime soon.

After that things got a little...hazy.

He vaguely remembered something about mashed potatoes, lettuce flying everywhere, screams, cries for help and being thrown out of the restaurant. He wished that he could claim that he couldn't remember the rest of the night, but unfortunately for him that wasn't the case and God, how he wished he could forget the horror of witnessing the destruction one small drunk woman could cause.

"Kill. Me," Danny groaned somewhere by the bed and as much as Darrin would like to get in on that prayer, he had other matters to deal with today.

"Rough night?" Jodi asked, sounding disgustingly cheerful.

"You did this to me!" Danny snarled accusingly as Darrin forced his eyes open and tried to figure out how he'd managed to crawl beneath the small coffee table and pass out.

"Me?" Jodi asked, sounding surprised when she should be apologizing to both of them and begging for their forgiveness.

"I hate you both," Darrin groaned as he made his first attempt to crawl out from under the table and failed.

"Exactly how much did the two of you drink last night?" Jodi asked, swallowing nervously as she took a step back and out of their reach.

"How much did we drink last night?" Darrin repeated, shaking his head in disgust.

"Not half as much as you did!" Danny snapped from where he lay on the floor, blindly reaching up and grabbing the blanket off the bed as he glared at the small woman glancing nervously between the two of them.

"I didn't drink last night," Jodi muttered with a thoughtful frown and even he had to admit that the small woman was adorable, but after what she'd done to them last night it really didn't matter.

"I really hate you," Darrin mumbled with a pained groan as he finally managed to crawl out from under the coffee table and get to his feet.

"Where are you going?" Danny asked, looking like he was going to be sick.

"To my room where I can die in peace," he said, stumbling his way to the door, deciding that admitting that he was planning on spanking his beautiful wife's ass until it was black and blue and she was unable to run away before they could settle a few things would probably bite him in the ass later.

"Move over," Darrin said even as he flopped down on the bed and curled up behind her.

"No, get out," she muttered pathetically, whimpering a bit at the end there.

"Make me," he mumbled in her ear, almost sounding as exhausted as she felt as he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer, but she knew that was impossible.

She'd never been this exhausted before in her life and she could blame the bastard shifting behind her, trying to get comfortable, for it.

After she'd made a hasty retreat last night, for obvious reasons, she'd rushed back to the hotel, switched to a new room, hit the gift shop downstairs and loaded up on drinks, snacks and magazines before she'd rushed back upstairs, threw the locks and breathed a sigh of relief that she'd managed to get away before he could get his hands on her. Her relief was short lived though, because not even an hour later he'd been at her door demanding that he let her in so that they could "talk."

She probably would have considered letting him in so that they could work things out if he hadn't been snarling promises to turn her ass black and blue and make her think twice about using his love of food against him again. Deciding that it was for the best to ignore him, she settled for taking a long relaxing bath. She'd just taken her clothes off when the hotel door was thrown open and Darrin, looking angrier than she'd ever seen him before, stormed inside the room.

When he'd spotted her, he came to a halt and licked his lips as he ran hungry green eyes that promised to make up for the last month, over her. Before he could make good on that promise, and God, how she'd wanted him to do just that, Danny had been there, putting him in a chokehold and dragging him off. It had taken her a few minutes and a cold bath to help her realize that it had been for the best.

She wished that she could say that had been the end of it, but unfortunately for her and the rest of the guests at the hotel last night, that wasn't the case. Thanks to the trio from hell, as she was now referring to Darrin, Danny and Jodi when there were drunk, she'd spent half the night chasing after them, trying to get them to go to Danny's room and sleep it off before security, the police and for some unknown reason, a Priest could find them. The other half of the night she'd spent avoiding Darrin and his drunken need to get a few things off his chest.

Once she'd shoved them in Danny's room and made sure that they weren't going to stumble out and cause more problems, she'd gone back to her room, taken a shower and curled up beneath her covers, hoping for an hour of sleep before she was forced to drag her ass out of bed and go meet the rest of the Bradfords at Disney World. She'd barely managed to close her eyes when she'd heard her hotel door open and close a few seconds later.

Too exhausted to throw the bastard out, she'd closed her eyes and fallen asleep a few minutes later when she heard him turn the shower on, praying that he took his shower and left so that she could pass out in peace. Apparently her prayers would not be answered today, she thought miserably as she turned over onto her stomach with a muttered groan and weakly shoved him away.

"Why must you fight our love?" he asked as he simply followed after her, throwing his arm back around her and pulled her back.

"Because I hate you?" she said, shifting and squirming as she tried to get comfortable, but it was kind of difficult to do with two hundred and thirty pound of pure muscle plastered to her side, refusing to let her go.

"You love me," he muttered confidently as he snuggled closer.

"No, I really don't," she lied, shifting to put more space between them when all she really wanted to do was to snuggle closer.

She'd missed him so much...

But this was for the best, she reminded herself as she shifted onto her side and...

Somehow found herself draped over Darrin's lap, again.

"Seriously?" she asked with a whimper, because really, she was too tired to deal with this shit right now.

"I think it's about time that we put an end to this bullshit, don't you?" he asked around a loud yawn, shifting beneath her to get more comfortable and apparently that meant placing his hand on her ass.

"And you have to put your hand on my ass to do that?" she asked with an annoyed sigh as she reached over and grabbed a pillow.

"It helps me focus," he murmured, giving her ass a gentle squeeze.

"Can we get this over with?" she asked grumpily as she hugged the pillow tight and settled in for the long haul.

"Well first," he said with a slight pause and another squeeze of her ass, making her roll her eyes even as her lips twitched with amusement, "I thought we'd stop with the bullshit."

"Meaning?"

"I'm done playing games, Marybeth."

"Does that mean that you're going to give me a divorce?" she asked weakly as her stomach turned with dread.

"No, that means that we stop playing these games and start being honest with each other," he said softly as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"I'm not playing any games with you," she stubbornly argued as she tried to climb off his lap and away from this conversation, but he used his hold on her ass to keep her right where she was.

"You're not running away from this anymore, sweetheart."

"I'm not trying to run away," she lied, trying to do just that, because it was one thing to know that this day was coming, it was quite another to actually face it and deal with the aftermath.

Oh God, she wasn't ready to do this...

"Why don't we settle something before we start?" he suggested as he reached over and took her trembling hand in his. "We're not getting a divorce, Marybeth, so stop trying to push me away. It's not going to work. I've loved you since the moment that I saw you balling up your little fist and took a swing at your brother and I know that you love me too."

"Darrin, I...," she started to lie, but she just couldn't do it. Not anymore. "It doesn't matter."

He trailed his fingers down her spine, smoothing down the tee shirt that she'd helped herself to from his bag and asked, "Do you really think that I could ever be happy with anyone else but you?"

"And do you really think that you could be happy with a woman who can't give you children?" she asked, deciding that he was right. It was time for them to stop playing this game and get to the point. She pushed herself up and climbed off his lap. "I can't do that to you, Darrin. I'm sorry...I just can't."

Chapter 27.

"Oh my God! What the hell are you doing?"

"Taking matters into my own hands," he explained as he dragged the squirming woman back where he wanted her and flipped her over onto her back.

"Wait, what? No! Darrin, don't do it!" she cried out as she struggled to escape, but he wasn't letting her go.

Not this time.