Chapter 274

Side Story: The Make-Believe Tragic Heroine

She wailed in sorrow .

“Why… Why did this have to happen?”

Her question was met with silence .

“Please… open your eyes… please…! I beg you!”

She grabbed the thing and shook it by the shoulders . But despite her protests, nothing changed . It—he—would remain forever still .

“Why did this have to happen!? Why!? Say something, Yuki! Please!”

Tears trailed down the sides of her face . She sobbed, as she clung onto his lifeless corpse and expressed every bit of the profound misery assaulting her soul .

“What is it that the two of you are doing?”

Only to be interrupted by a bystander .

“Playing pretend . ” I said, as I sat up .

“Pretending to be a tragic heroine!” said Illuna, at the same time .

“Can the two of you not engage in an activity that is more… normal?” The dragon girl’s dubious stare transformed into an exasperated sigh . “I see now that you are doing as described, but I fail to understand the role of all parties involved . ” Her eyes turned to Shii .

“I’m the friend watching over her while she cries!” said the slime .

“…You are smiling in quite the cheerful manner for one witnessing such a heart wrenching scene . ”

“That’s because I have to! If everyone else is sad, then I gotta be happy and help them cheer up!”

“I-I suppose…”

The look on Lefi’s face seemed to indicate that she had a thousand things to say, but she chose to back off in the face of the slime girl’s energetic, insistent response . Give it up, Lefi . Shii’s the biggest airhead around . You wouldn’t be able to get through to her even if you tried .

“You should join us!” said Illuna .

“I should do what?” asked Lefi, taken aback by the sudden suggestion .

“Join us! Let’s play make believe tragic heroine together!”

“Alrighty, let me make some quick changes to the script, and we can go for take two,” I said .

“Yay! Cheered Shii .

“I-I will have you know that I have not agreed to any of this…” Despite her protests, her complaints went unheard .

***

She wailed in sorrow .

“Why… Why did this have to happen?”

“I believe it was… woof woof . ”

Her question was met with silence .

“Please… open your eyes… please…! I beg you!”

“Uhm… bark!”

She grabbed the thing and shook it by the shoulders . But despite her protests, nothing changed . It—he—would remain forever still .

“Why did this have to happen!? Why!? Say something, Yuki! Please! Anything! I just want to hear your voice one more time…”

Tears trailed down the sides of her face . She sobbed, as she clung onto his lifeless corpse and expressed every bit of the profound misery assaulting her soul .

“Bark bark!” said Lefi, before finally getting off her hands and knees . “…I request an intermission . ”

“Something up?”

“Do not give me any of that! Is this not supposed to be the tale of a child confronted with despair? Why is it that the role I must play is one of a dog!?” The dragon girl, who had temporarily been converted to a canine through the use of a dog nose and matching ears, shouted in equal parts frustration, disbelief, and shame .

“I mean, the dude’s backstory is that he’s got a dog,” I said, in a matter-of-fact manner . “It just so happens that said dog happens to be a special kind of stupid . It’s so dumb that it’s managed not to realize that it’s owner is dead, so it’s barking at him ‘cause it wants to be fed . What’s not to understand?”

Heh . Jackpot . Jokes on you, Lefi . I only came up with this whole dumb scenario because I wanted to see that exact look on your face .

“Well I mean, we can switch it up a bit if you really aren’t feeling it . How about this, we can make the dog loyal, and it can mourn its owner’s death alongside the heroine . Alright?”

“…I would prefer not to . ” She sighed . “I apologize for mocking your game . You must allow me to take on a different role . ”

“Wow… talk about selfish,” I looked at the other two actors with an exaggerated shrug, as if to say I had no idea what to do with her . “Well girls, it looks like she’s trying to string us along . What do you say? Either of you mind swapping roles?”

“I want to be the doggy!” said Shii .

“If she’s changing, then I’m changing too,” said Illuna . “You can be the heroine, Lefi, and I’ll be the friend watching over you!”

“Looks like we’re all set,” I said . “Take three, let’s go!”

“I regret raising my voice… I should have refrained from questioning the game’s content,” said Lefi, in a whisper .

Yup . You totally brought this upon yourself .

***

She wailed in sorrow .

“Uhm… Err…” Lefi stumbled over her words for a few moments, but attempted (poorly) to cover it up by clearing her throat . “…Your death was pathetic and entirely in vain . But I do not find it undeserving . ”

Her question was met with a snort . Oh god . That line was so ridiculous it caught me totally off guard .

“…I am beginning to doubt my assessment of your condition,” said Lefi .

“Yeah, Yuki! Dead people aren’t supposed to snort!” said Illuna .

“Yeah!” agreed Shii .

“My bad, my bad . I just really wasn’t expecting her to say that,” I said .

After a few final spasms, the man’s corpse once again lay still . The girl placed a hand on the now truly deceased individual’s ice cold cheeks and slowly—gently—caressed it .

“Why has it come to this?” she said, tearfully . “All of your limbs have been removed, and your entrails have been wrenched apart and consumed . It was a miserable death, and one not of necessity…”

Again, the man snorted .

“You would do best to play your own role well before seeking to criticize others, Yuki,” said Lefi .

“You’re saying it like it’s my fault! How am I supposed to keep quiet with you just randomly adding stuff? And needlessly gory stuff, at that . ”

Like, all this is really starting to beg the question of how and why the man ended up dying to begin with .

“You have no right to claim my additions needless . It was you who fleshed out the dog’s past, was it not? I am fully aware that there was not a need for such a role to begin with!”

“That’s not true!” said Shii . “The doggy is very important!”

“That is a statement that you have only made as a result of your desire to wear the props associated with the role,” said Lefi .

“Oops! I was trying to keep that a secret!” giggled the slime, in an embarrassed manner .

Damn . She’s so cute her drill could probably pierce the heavens .

“Alright, you know what, clearly, our two roles are the problem,” I said . “So here’s how we’ll fix this . You can be the corpse boy, and I can be the sad girl . Capiche?”

“…I believe that to be an unfitting set of rules, but very well . ”

“Alright, fourth time’s the charm,” I said . “Ready, set, action!”

***

(S)he wailed in sorrow .

“Why… Why did this have to happen?”

“Bark, bark, sad bark…”

“Please… open your eyes… please…! I beg you!”

“Eep!?”

The girl let out a quiet, but audible squeal as a pair of hands suddenly made contact with the sides of her stomach .

“Wait, is it just me, or did she just move?” I looked around . “I’m pretty sure moving is the one thing corpses aren’t supposed to do . ”

“Do not blame me! The fault is yours!”

“You’re not supposed to move, Lefi . You’re dead!” said Illuna .

“Yup! Very dead!” repeated Shii .

“Ughhhhhh… . ”

The girl was distraught . Her complaints had been silenced by the hero(ine)’s friend and dog . But with no other choices remaining to her, she returned to being nothing but an inanimate corpse .

“I’m so sad,” I said in an intentionally unfitting, upbeat tone . “I can’t believe something like this happened to someone so important to me . ”

Despite her best attempts to remain silent, the girl began gasping in an almost sensual manner as the hero(ine) continued to fondle her body inappropriately with one hand while grabbing a nearby object and popping off its lid with another .

“I’m so, so sad I think I’m going to have to sharpie your face to help me get over it . ” The hero(ine) acted as (s)he spoke, and doodled all over the corpse’s face .

“Sh-sharpie!? Yuki!!” Her eyes shot open as she came back to life . “Were those not permanent!?” She s