Chapter 100

A Battle Within a Castle — Part 2

Joker,

The first thing the king and I did after our little conversation about murdering his son was to move . We needed to get the little princess somewhere safe . Since we knew that our allies would be somewhere in front, we cut through the castle's interior and headed out front . Lo and behold, the rescue squad was right there waiting for us . Their pace was so brisk that watching them was almost a bit fascinating .

"Your Majesty! You're safe!" Carlotta, who was at the squad's front, hailed the king the moment she saw him before turning towards me with a bit of a suspicious look . "You were the one who rescued him, I take it…?"

Carlotta was this operation's supreme commander . Yet, I had somehow expected her to be here . She just seemed like the type that would take to the front lines and order the soldiers to follow her as she charged into the fray . And she wasn't the only familiar face either .

"Oh, hey Nell . Fancy seeing you around these parts . "

"Wait, Yu-Why are you here!?" asked Nell .

The hero's presence confirmed that the church did indeed view her as an important asset . There was no way they would have deployed her on such an important mission had they felt otherwise .

"Explaining it all would be a huge pain in the ass, so I'mma just not . "

Nell looked like she was about to complain, but her boss cut her off before she could .

"Cease, Nell . I too want to ask him many, many things, but this is not the time for that . We are before his majesty, and we don't want to waste his time . Save any questions you have for later . " The knight took a knee as she lectured her subordinate . Soon, her whole unit followed suit . "Your Majesty, we are glad to see both you and your daughter in good health . Nothing could possibly mean more to us than your safety . "

"Enough," said the king . "Raise your heads . There is no need for you to go through with pleasantries . This is in an emergency, and I see it only rational that we act in a manner befitting of such . "

"Understood, Your Majesty . "

Carlotta got to her feet and turned to her unit to instruct them to do the same . I used her momentary bit of inattention to whisper into the king's ears .

"I know these guys, and they know me . But they don't know what I really am, so don't be giving me away . "

The king gave the slightest nod possible . He too was being all sneaky-like .

I hadn't told the stubborn old coot the whole truth . Nell knew my identity, but I figured that it'd be better for me not to tell him that .

"Given the circumstances, Your Majesty, might I suggest evacuating immediately? A part of this unit will accompany you and ensure that you make it to safety . "

"Please evacuate only my daughter," said the king, resolutely . "I am afraid that I must remain . "

"Sir . . ?" Carlotta made a stupefied expression, as if she hadn't ever expected that she would be denied .

"It is my understanding that you will soon make your way towards my idiotic excuse of a son . I shall join you in seeing to his demise . "

“B-But Your Majesty…” Carlotta gave a troubled frown . She simply didn't know how else to react to the king's unexpected suggestion .

"I understand that I am asking for a significant favour . But I insist . You must escort me to his side . "

And him being a stubborn old coot probably isn't helping either .

Their conversation soon came to an unexpected, abrupt end . My skills started blaring alarms through my head . An enemy had come and a crisis was upon us . The strength of Crisis Detection's response changed based on the severity of the threat . For example, Illuna loved to start hitting me when she started to get angry . She would pound the bottom of her fists into my chest . It was obviously an attack, but the skill judged it so inconsequential that it was completely ignored . However, the skill would begin blaring off alarms the moment Lefi attempted the same adorable thing . It would instill an overwhelming sense of crisis throughout every fibre of my being .

The sensation I was currently feeling was nowhere close to the threat of an angry Lefi, but it was still enough of a threat to cause the skill to pop . Based on what I'd experienced within the Wicked Forest, such a sensation meant that the attack being launched my way was one that would cause significant harm if I didn't react immediately . And as such, I took an action that could almost be called reflexive . I raised the blade I had been resting atop my shoulders and held it above my head in order to block the incoming attack .

A loud clang pierced my ears and a dull shock ran through my arms . The attack was a heavy one . In fact, it was so heavy that I couldn't help but think that the attacker had jumped off the castle in order to give his first strike a bit of oomph .

“You actually blocked that? Not bad! Not bad at all!”

I turned around to see my attacker, a burly man with his weapon drawn and ready to go . The look on his face was… wrong . He was just so happy and enraptured that I couldn't help but feel a sense of danger . For my chastity .

"Aw hell no! You stay the fuck outta my ass!"

I almost stumbled across my own words as I turned around and attempted to strike him with a roundhouse kick . But unlike everyone else I'd fought today, he managed to dodge it and take up a stance with his blade . Again, I was assaulted by an instinctive repulsion .

He was a pervert .

I could just tell .

"Hahaha!" The man laughed . "I only took this shitty job because I heard I'd get a chance to fight the church's famous lady knight, or even the hero herself . But would you look here! I've got myself something even better! What a lucky day it is! If I knew someone like you was coming, then I would've gotten myself off my ass even earlier!"

The man grinned as widely as any human being possibly could while his eyes began to glow with a sharp glint . Gross . That's fucking gross . God help me . This motherfucker's one of them freaks obsessed with fighting . And one of the really messed up ones at that .

His equips were indicative of the fact that he was your everyday soldier . I would have been quite happy if it had turned out that he was basically wearing rags, but unfortunately, it was the opposite . Analyze informed me that his gear was much better than anything a mere member of the rank and file could ever afford . He said something about a job, right? I guess that would probably make him either a merc or an adventurer .

The rude pervert's entrance caused the king and the knights to tense up .

"A-Are you okay!?" asked Nell in a panicked tone .

"I'm fine . Don't worry about me . Just go do what you gotta do . "

The war-crazed pervert seemed to have judged me as a worthy foe or something . He was no longer even considering anyone else . They'd all left his focus . His sword was directed at me and only me . He was unlikely to chase the king and his knights so long as I remained . Ughhhhhhhhhhh . God damn it . Give me a break . Look man, I'm a pacifist . Sure, I fight stuff, but only because it's absolutely necessary . I only do what I have to, nothing more . 'Cause unlike this degenerate, I don't actually like almost getting myself killed .

A member of the rescue team attempted to attack the man . He moved in a ninja-like manner, approached the pervert from behind, and attempted to hit one of his blind spots .

But it didn't work .

"Get out of here, small fry . This party's exclusive . Invite only . "

There was a flash . The ally that had attacked was split right in half . His death prompted Carlotta to click her tongue in annoyance . "Are you going to need backup?"

"Nah, I'm good . If anything, you guys will just get in my way . "

If I had to describe Zaien in a single word, I would deem the blade massive . Its effective range was far too large for me to want to bother accounting for any allies that may or may not be in the way . It wasn't impossible, but I just didn't want to bother . I wasn't all that great at swordplay . Chances were, I would mess up and accidentally cleave right through anyone that moved to support me .

"Olga! Duo!"

"What is it, ma'am?"

"The two of you take the king's daughter and withdraw immediately . The rest of you, to me . We'll be escorting His Majesty . "

"Yes, ma'am!"

"Your Majesty, please try your best not to stray from our sides . "

"Of course," said the king .

"I'll leave you to take care of him, Wye, but don't die," said the knight . "I still have many things to ask you . "

“B-Be careful!” added Nell .

"Yeah, yeah, I got it . Hurry up and go already . " I kept my eyes in front and trained on the enemy as I spoke .

The two girls nodded and left to go carry out their duties .

In the end, the only two that remained were me and the battle-crazed pervert .

"You sure you don't need to go after the king?" I asked . "Wasn't killing him your goal?"

"It ain't a problem . My contract only says that I'm in charge of fighting anyone strong," he said . "And I'm pretty sure the strongest person in that group was you . "

Crimson appeared on the man's face as his expression contorted into that of a blushing maiden . "What a lucky man I am . I can't believe I get to face such a strong foe . This too must be karma . Doing good deeds everyday has finally come full circle!"

Fuck . Fuck . Fuck . Gross . Oh god . That is literally the most disgusting expression I've seen in my life . Someone get me some bleach . For my eyes . Now! I simply could not imagine anything more disgusting than the man before me .

"Good deeds? Looking at you, that just smells like bullshit," I spat . Even just having the pervert around had left a bad taste in my mouth, so I kicked through the air and initiated combat .

My movements were so quick that it was almost like I had initiated the fight with a teleport .

***

Editor's note (Joker):

Hey, guys! Joker here . Well, it looks like it's time for the obligatory "overly feminine macho man" to make his… her… their appearance . Seems like a lot of isekai novels have that kind of character . Which is odd if you consider the time period most isekai novels pull from . I don't think there were many people like that back then . Which brings a thought to mind . I don't think I've read an isekai novel where the character is sent to a world that's in the "future" time period . They're all back in swords and magic . Why not something like the main character being in a future time period and they summoned them because the future people need help with an "old timey" problem? I think that would be neat . If anyone has a novel like that, please lemme know . Also, a lot of y'all really got into the DnD game, and I'm real excited for future games . I'll try and get a set schedule up so that we can get as many people playing as possible . Only one letter today, so thanks to

Danthefan

unless… hold on . Let me get an older sack… . Nope, that's the only one . Remember, if you've got a question, leave it below with the hashtag #AskJoker and I'll reply to it . See y'all in the next chapter!

TL Note

: I think ^ has the wrong impression or I messed up . Idk which . Dude isn't supposed to be the tranny trope . He's just supposed to fucked in the head .