YOU'VE GOT MAIL*

713 With a nod to America Online...Stay in touch with your lover through email. Always use the latest electronic communications technology to break down the artificial barriers between "work time" and "personal time." Email is great for keeping a conversation going with your partner all day long.

Treat email as an extra method for staying connected. Email doesn't take the place of real love letters via "snail mail."

Use your lover's pet name as your email password.

714.

Type this: colon, close parenthesis :) and you get a smiley face when you look at the page sideways.

Type this: semicolon, hyphen, close parenthesis ;-) a wink!

Type this: colon, hyphen, open parenthesis :-( a frown.

These are called emoticons or "smileys," and they're used by frequent emailers to enhance the emotional content of their emailed notes.

*This chapter dedicated to Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks.

715 It's getting easier and easier to send audio files via email. With the proper software your lover will be able to hear your voice as well as read your words. This technology is especially great if you're in a long distance relationship.

716 Create your own custom-made electronic greeting cards. Using PowerPoint or similar software you can use scanned-in pictures and animation to create lively, funny, and entertaining e-cards.

MIND-SET OF A ROMANTIC.

717 Romantics have a good sense of humor. There's no such thing as a "humorless romantic." While the foundation of romance is a serious love, the nature of romance is lighthearted.

718 Romantics "work at it."

Mind-set of a Romantic: Creative Quirky Flexible Observant Childlike Thoughtful Fun Wacky Curious Yes, relationships require work. But it's not "work" like nine-to-five work. It's more like an artist working on a painting. Painting requires skill, time, effort, planning, frustration, and sweat sometimes-but the work is so rewarding that the artist doesn't view it as "work." Working on a loving relationship is like that.

719 Romantics not only work at it, they "play at it," too!

Being romantic is a lot of fun. (In case you haven't guessed by now!) Being romantic involves your creativity, self-expression, and your passionate spirit. Remember my earlier definition of romance as "adult play"?

720 Romantics live in the moment.

"Carpe diem"-seize the day! Seize the moment. Don't let another ten minutes go by without making some expression of your love for your partner. (Yes, I mean that literally. If you're at home reading this, set the book down, saunter over to him or her, and wrap your arms around your lover. If you're out somewhere, call on the phone. Go do it. Carpe diem.)

THINKING LIKE A ROMANTIC.

721 Romantics are magnets for romantic ideas. Romantics find romantic ideas everywhere.

Romantics keep an eye on the concerts and shows scheduled to appear in their area.

Romantics read the newspaper not only for the news, but for romantic opportunities.

Romantics notice articles and ads in newspapers and magazines.

Romantics save miscellaneous articles for future reference.

Romantics notice unique gifts when shopping for other things.

Idea inspired while eating Alpha-Bits: For each letter of the alphabet, write down three possible romantic gifts or concepts. Use this list for generating romantic ideas.

722 Romantics are flexible.

What would you do if you'd planned a romantic picnic, and it started raining? One couple held their picnic in bed! Another couple grabbed two umbrellas and headed for the park anyway!

If your partner showed up at your office wearing a trench coat and nothing else-what would you do?

Would you be comfortable taking the afternoon off work on the spur of the moment to spend it with your partner?

723 Employing the concept of "Couple-Thinking" will automatically turn anyone into a romantic. Couple-Thinking is a technique in which you first think of yourself as a member of a couple, and second as an independent individual. (Men, and our culture in general, put too much emphasis on rugged individualism, and not enough emphasis on relationship-building and connection-making.) Note: I am NOT suggesting that you martyr yourself on the altar of Relationship.

Romantics have a portion of their brains assigned to the task of recognizing romantic opportunities when they appear. Other people screen them out.

LOVE IS...

724 Love is...eliminating all interruptions so you can really be alone together. Disconnect the phone; unplug the TV; ship the kids to the neighbors; disconnect the doorbell.

725.

Love is...framing a favorite greeting card she's given you.

Love is...reading aloud to each other before bed.

Love is...having a poem delivered to your table at a restaurant.

Love is...sending a postcard every day that you're away from her.

Love is...believing in one another.

726.

Romance is the expression of love.

Romance is the icing on the cake of your relationship.

Romance is always about love, but only sometimes about sex.

Romance is a state of mind.

Romance is also a state of being.

Romance is what you do. (Love is what you feel.) Romance is the language of love.

Chapter Theme Songs:.

"I Want to know What Love Is," Foreigner "Love Is," Vanessa Williams & Brian McKnight "Love Is Powerful," Seal "Love Is a Many Splendored Thing," The Four Aces Love is...waking her gently with soft caresses and kisses.

"LOVE IS..."

727.

"Love is a little haven of refuge from the world."

-Bertrand Russell "Love is the fairest flower that blooms in God's garden."

-Anonymous "Love is a flower and you its only seed."

-Amanda McBroom "Love is a promise, love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear."

-John Lennon "Love is a great beautifier."

-Louisa May Alcott "Love is, above all, the gift of oneself."

-Jean Anouilh Ardele "Love is being stupid together."

-Paul Valery "Love is as much of an object as it is an obsession; everybody wants it, everybody seeks it, but few ever achieve it. Those who do will cherish it, be lost in it, and among all, never...never forget it."

-Curtis Judalet "Love is a chain of love as nature is a chain of life."

-Truman Capote Love is merely an empty concept unless you bring it alive through action.

"Love is blind."-Geoffrey Chaucer.

"Love is blind. That is why he always proceeds by the sense of touch." -French proverb Love is patient, Love is kind, it does not envy; it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

-1 Corinthians 13:4-7 "Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful."

-1 Corinthians 13:4 "Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence."

-H. L. Mencken "Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence."

-Erich Fromm "Love is something eternal; the aspect may change, but not the essence."

-Vincent Van Gogh "Love is the final end of the world's history, the Amen of the universe."

-Novalis

THE WAY TO A MAN'S HEART*

728 When in doubt, buy her chocolate. When in doubt, order him pizza.

729 You can spice up any meal at home-from gourmet extravaganzas to TV dinners-by adding candlelight and soft music. Don't wait for "special occasions" or weekends to bring out the romance.

730 Get the pizza chef to arrange the pepperoni in the shape of a heart.