MONOGAMY-NOT MONOTONY

656 Have you ever noticed that most of the best movie romance occurs between single people? Contrary to popular belief, this is not because the romance ends with marriage; it's because it is simply so much easier to catch infatuation on film than it is to catch the depth, meaning, and subtleties of a long-term, A+ Relationship on film.

"In real life, of course, marriage, with its subterranean motifs and trade-offs, is more fascinating and unfathomable, hence more tantalizing, than a score of love affairs. But in movie life, surfaces-faces, in fact-must tell the story, and once those faces become familiar or imply the virtues of endurance rather than the sparks of strangeness, romance loses its necessary tension." From the New York Times, "The Love That's Forever: Making Matches," by Molly Haskell.

Chapter Theme Song:.

"True to you," Kim Wilde 657 Create your own personal "anniversary ritual" that you reenact every year together in a private little ceremony. You might play special music for background; you might light candles; you might read aloud to one another your original wedding vows; you might write a poem every year.

For a rare treatment of mature love, see the great movie On Golden Pond.

658 Get a large wardrobe box from a local moving company. Wrap the box with wrapping paper in your partner's favorite color and a giant bow. Place the box on your front porch. Hop inside. Have a friend close the lid, finish the wrapping, ring the doorbell, and run.

(MORE) KID STUFF.

659 Buy some crayons. If you're right-handed, take a crayon in your left hand. Write a short note to him as if you were in first grade.

660 Wind-up toys are very cool: monsters that walk and shoot sparks, creeping bugs, racing cars, crawling babies, lumbering robots. Use your creativity and wrap a little wind-up toy with a clever note. Call Lilliput at 800-TIN-TOYS, or visit www.lilliputmotorcompany.com.

661 Notes to accompany stuffed animals...

Teddy bears: "I can't bear being away from you..."

Stuffed pigs: "I'm hog-wild over you!"

Stuffed lions: "I'm roarin' to get you!"

Stuffed tigers: "You're Grrrrrrrreat!"

Stuffed monkeys: "Let's monkey around!"

Go fly a kite!

Ride on a carousel.

Play a board game.

Share your favorite jokes.

Blow bubbles.

Toss a Frisbee.

Watch cloud formations.

Wish on a falling star.

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Visit a playground, swing together, play on the teeter-totter.

Visit a playground-at midnight, under a full moon, with a bottle of fine champagne.

(MORE) FUNNY STUFF.

663 Send comics to him or her at work. Work-related, hobby-related, or relationship-related. He'll appreciate the fact that you thought about him.

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Present him with a written bill for the next dinner you prepare for him: "Jean-Ann's Cafe: Bill for Services: Salad: 1 kiss. Entree: 8 kisses. Dessert: 3 kisses. Total bill: 12 kisses. (Tipping is encouraged.) You may want to take advantage of our Frequent Diner Program. See the manager. Thank you, come again!"

Present her with a bill for the next time you change the oil in her car: "John's Garage: Bill for services: 6 quarts of oil: 1 kiss each. Oil filter: 1 kiss. New wiper blades: 3.5 hugs. Labor: 4 kisses. Total bill: 11 kisses. No checks accepted. Note: Special rates for customers who sleep with the mechanic!"

The New Yorker is a great resource for relationship-oriented cartoons.

"We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh."

-Agnes Repplier 665 Get a favorite comic blown up to poster size. (Head for your local copy shop.) Mount it on cardboard. Send it to her at work or prop it up on the front porch.

666 For your comic strip lover: Check out www.comics.com for info on the Sunday Comic Store.

(MORE) COOL STUFF.

667 Give your lover a bouquet of edible flowers!

Anise hyssop flowers Arugula flowers Borage Calendula Chamomile Chive flowers Chrysanthemums Daisies Dandelions Day lilies Hollyhocks Honeysuckle Lavender Marigolds Mustard flowers Nasturtium flowers Pansies Rose petals Squash blossoms Violets Float some of these beautiful, edible petals in a glass of your favorite wine or champagne!

668 Musical greeting cards! Yes, open one up and it plays an electronic tune for you. Very cool. Look in card shops and gift stores.

669 You can get a complete lobster feast shipped to you anywhere in the USA! Call Clambakes to travel, at 800-722-CLAM, or visit www.clambakeco.com.

Cool, huh?!

They'll send you an entire lobster feast including the pots and utensils-air expressed overnight! The traditional New England seafood dinner, for-two includes: two 1-pound lobsters; 1-pounds of steamers; a pound of mussels; two ears of fresh corn; four to six red bliss potatoes; two chunks of onion; and two links of sweet Italian sausage.

(MORE) CONCEPTS.

670 "Time is money." You've heard it a thousand times. A call for efficiency. A time management maxim. An excuse for workaholics.

Well, it's a lie. Time is not money!

You can save money, but you can't save time-it's slipping by all the time, regardless of what you do. Also, you can create more money-by working harder or longer or smarter. But you can't create more time. That's it. Sorry. Nope. No more. No-you can't live on "borrowed time"-it doesn't work that way.

Time is not money.

SI suggest that you save the money (perhaps for a big gift or special event)-but spend the time now, while you still have it.

671 Romantics do not put their partners first by ignoring their own needs and wants. Rather, they put their relationship first, and they do things that enhance the couple as a whole. You see, self-sacrifice always backfires because it builds resentment in the giver and creates guilt in the receiver. Romantic gestures performed out of love provide benefits to both the giver and the receiver.

Romantics are not martyrs.

672 Your physical surroundings affect your emotional well-being. While many of us would agree with this, the Chinese art of feng shui takes it to quite another level. Feng shui regards homes, buildings, and rooms as "energy systems" that affect qi-our basic life energy. It makes sense to me that we should do everything possible to create personal environments that support our lives and our loves. Here are two books to help you learn more: Feng Shui Your Life, by Jayme Barrett and Mary Steenburgen. Interior Design with Feng Shui, by Sarah Rossbach and Lin Yun.

(MORE) DO-IT-YOURSELF.

Convert home videos of him to DVD on a DVD recorder. You can use Windows Movie Maker on your computer to edit videos and add music to make a beautiful video-montage of your lover!

673 Learn to play the guitar just well enough to accompany yourself as you sing a favorite love song. Now serenade her!

Responses to the most common excuses for not doing this: Excuse: "I'm not musical." Answer: Practice, practice, practice!

Excuse: "I can't sing." Answer: Then don't! But play an instrumental version of the song on guitar.

Excuse: "I'd be too embarrassed." Answer: C'mon! Challenge yourself. Stretch yourself.

674 Make a "This Is Your Life" DVD. Interview his friends and family, neighbors, high school teachers, college buddies, fraternity brothers, colleagues and co-workers. This idea is an especially great idea for a special birthday.