Gift-A new Ping putter.

Present-Clothes you'd like him to wear.

Gift-A book by her favorite author.

Present-A book you'd like her to read.

(Don't bother looking up the words "gift" and "present" in the dictionary. Technically, they're synonyms. But then, what does Webster's know about romance?) When a man gives a woman lingerie-guess what?!-nine times out of ten it's a present. When he gives her favorite perfume, it's a gift. This is not to say that one is better than the other. Gifts and presents are just different. Knowing the difference between a gift and a present will help both of you stay "in tune" with each other and avoid unrealistic expectations and possible hard feelings.

Note: Items can sometimes be both gifts and presents at the same time. It depends on the item in combination with the recipient's individual personality.

218 Consciously choose gifts and presents that symbolize your love.

Gifts and presents are things we give to symbolize our love. It's not about the stuff, it's about what the stuff means. Frankly, what lovers really want is more of each other! More time together, more shared experiences, more opportunities to be loving.

The role of gifts and presents is to stand in for you, to represent you, when you're not physically there. So choose them wisely.

PRESENTS & GIFTS.

219 Create "theme" gifts and gestures. Combine similar items and ideas to create fun, meaningful gifts.

Give her these three gifts, wrapped separately but tied together with a ribbon: The book Best of Friends: A Coupon Gift of Love and Thanks, by Sourcebooks, Inc.

The CD Forever Friends, by Justo Almario The song "My Best Friend," by Tim McGraw 220 Another "theme" gift: Give him all of Leo Buscaglia's "love" books: Love Personhood Living, Loving & Learning Born for Love And get some of Leo's wonderful lectures on DVD.

221.

"Diamonds are a girl's best friend." Get her one.

"Dogs are a man's best friend." Get him one.

222 And another "theme" gift: Give her a new pair of walking shoes or hiking boots.

And a copy of the book Off the Beaten Path-A travel guide to more than 1,000 scenic and interesting places still uncrowded and inviting.

And a written invitation to a three-day hiking vacation.

Give a funny gift.

Give an artistic gift.

Give a sexy gift.

Give a timely gift.

Give a meaningful gift.

Give a musical gift.

Give a tiny gift.

Give a seasonal gift.

Give a tasty gift.

DAILY & WEEKLY.

223a A Daily Romantic Checklist: Spend twenty minutes of uninterrupted time together.

Check in with each other during the day.

Perform one small-and unexpected-gesture.

Say "I love you" at least three times.

Thank your partner for something.

Look for romantic concepts in the newspaper.

Take an extra minute when kissing good-bye.

223b A Weekly Romantic Checklist Bring home one small, unexpected gift or present.

Share some form of physical intimacy.

Share an entire afternoon or evening together.

Share two insights you gained this week.

Write at least one little love note.

Mail something to your partner.

Make love!

Plan something special for the upcoming weekend.

On Sunday: Be debonair.

On Monday: Be zany.

On Tuesday: Be enchanting.

On Wednesday: Be sexy.

On Thursday: Be funny.

On Friday: Be playful.

On Saturday: Be romantic.

MONTHLY & YEARLY.

223c A Monthly Romantic Checklist: Plan one romantic surprise for this month.

Restock your stash of greeting cards.

Go out to dinner once or twice.

Rent at least two romantic movies.

Make love several times!

Make plans for a three-day romantic weekend sometime in the next three months.

Plan one romantic event with a seasonal theme.

223d A Yearly Romantic Checklist Make a New Year's Resolution to be a more creative romantic.

Make plans for your next anniversary.

Think of an unusual way to celebrate your partner's birthday.

Review your plans for your next vacation.

Create a special "Romance" category in your household budget.

Make plans for Valentine's Day-well in advance!

Focus on a different sense each day: Sunday: Sense of sight.

Monday: Sense of hearing.

Tuesday: Sense of smell.

Wednesday: Sense of touch.

Thursday: Sense of taste.

Friday: Common sense.

Saturday: Sense of humor.

Rent one romantic comedy every month: January: Serendipity February: America's Sweethearts March: Garden State April: Love Actually May: Sweet Home Alabama June: As Good as it Gets July: Return to Me August: Never Been Kissed September: The Princess Bride October: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days November: The Wedding Singer December: You've Got Mail

YIN & YANG.

224a A lot of problems and misunderstandings-from marital spats to world wars-are caused by people ignoring the fact that everything operates under the principles of Yin and Yang. Everything includes, or works together with, its opposite: masculine and feminine; love and hate; give and take; funny and serious; life and death.

There is great wisdom and truth in every pair of ideas below-even though each pair represents two opposite suggestions! These paradoxes are part of the mystery and magic of life and love.

Celebrate your differences.

Take comfort in your similarities.

Live in the present! Now is all there is! Free yourself from the past.

Keep your memories alive. Nostalgia fuels romance.

Read books! They contain wisdom, great ideas, and inspiration!

Throw the books away! Listen to your inner voice.

Say what you feel when you feel it. Be totally honest with each other.

Choose your words carefully. What you say creates your reality.