His strong arm cradled me, and when the world tilted, I let him hold me, do what he wanted with me. He eased me onto my back, leaning on one elbow above me, his wings shedding rusty sparkles over us. I stared, transfixed, my body trembling and wet. My nipples stung. My hands shook. I couldn't breathe. My s.e.x hurt, swollen, longing for him, and distant fear twinged my skin.
I'd wanted men before, wanted them so bad, my head spun from dehydration and my flesh swelled so much, I bled. But this was different. I'd dreamt of him too long. I couldn't pretend this away. I couldn't avert my face, forget myself, lose myself in sensation so I wouldn't get embarra.s.sed by my l.u.s.t.
I couldn't even close my eyes. His face, so perfect, the midnight curve of his cheekbone more beautiful than I could bear. His silvery lips, wet with our kiss, his hair gleaming copper in fast-fading sunlight. His eyes, gosh-I was drunk on them, tilted at the corners in a sweep of coppery lashes and smoldering with molten intent. People said he was cold, my Indigo, cold and slow to ignite, but not now; now he stared at me, hungry, besotted like he couldn't get enough.
So beautiful. So perfect. So far beyond my sad little horizon, it hurt.
Reality sc.r.a.ped my soul, sharp like broken gla.s.s. Too beautiful, too clever, too talented for me. If he broke my heart, I might not bounce back.
His gaze flicked to mine for an instant and dragged back to my mouth. He swallowed, those amazing eyes gleaming golden all for me. "Ice. You're so sweet and beautiful. I'm sorry I've been cruel to you. I'm just . . . it's hard for me to let anyone close. Can you forgive me?"
He said the beautiful beautiful part again. I grinned, foolish, my eyes leaking. The streetlight glared in my eyes. My wings sc.r.a.ped in the dirt. My shoulder blades hurt. I didn't care. I just wrapped my fingers in his wire-sharp hair and pulled him back down to me. part again. I grinned, foolish, my eyes leaking. The streetlight glared in my eyes. My wings sc.r.a.ped in the dirt. My shoulder blades hurt. I didn't care. I just wrapped my fingers in his wire-sharp hair and pulled him back down to me.
Gosh. Even better than before. His teeth caught on mine, sharp and metallic, and I laughed, breathless. "Say something else nice about me."
He slid closer. The length of his body pressed into mine, lean and steely yet fairy-light, and when his c.o.c.k pressed into my thigh, it felt the same. Well, how about that? He was hard from kissing me. Muscles tightened deep within me, and I imagined how he'd feel there, inside me, stroking me smooth and hot and slow. Maybe soon I'd find out.
He smiled, like he knew what I was thinking, and punctuated his words with more kissing, his lips caressing my chin, my cheekbone, the corner of my mouth. "You, Ice, are the bravest, wittiest, loveliest, maddest, most terrifying woman I know."
I giggled, dazzled. Here I was thinking him a straight-up vanilla fairy. "Those are all good things, right?"
"You have no idea how good. Do I get one back?"
"One what?"
"Something nice, of course."
Never thought his ego would need a kick. "Oh. Well. Same things all the girls say, I guess. It's a no-brainer that you're gorgeous. I mean, who wouldn't cream herself over a six-foot-three metal fairy? Especially with that tasty blue skin and those lick-me thighs and your eyes, they're . . ."
I swallowed. Crazy fairy wh.o.r.e. Waffling. Focus. "Yeah. Okay. And you're funny, in a dead clever kinda way, even if you're mostly picking on me. And you're . . . Well . . . You're just great. You don't take s.h.i.t from stupid humans or gangsters or anyone. You always know what to say. You're never afraid-gosh, if I had half your courage . . . And you're, like, the cleverest dirty sc.u.mbag thief I know. I just so want to be you. And . . ."
"And?" He prompted me with another dazzling kiss.
I sighed into him, and words slipped out between kissing. "And most of the time you're all steel and gla.s.s and unbreakable-like, but sometimes you show me this gentle streak. If you don't mind me saying, being such a tough guy and all. You split open for me, and you're all warm and tender inside that metal sh.e.l.l. And it just makes me want to eat you up like a . . . like a pa.s.sionfruit."
He stared at me, his lips shining silver, and I blanched. Now I've done it Now I've done it.
But he just dipped his mouth to mine again, and this time he twisted his claws in my hair and held me there, his coppery groan slipping into my mouth. He slid on top of me, his thigh easing between mine where I ached. Our tongues melted together, his warm iron flavor flowing inside me, and when he broke off, we were both gasping. His breath burned my lips, and he traced a lingering hot claw over the pulse in my throat. "This is insane. You'd better not be lying."
Pleasure squirmed inside me at the intensity of his kiss, but in a chilling flash I saw ash-streaked blond hair, golden limbs, hard black eyes that burned azure. Tell me if you like it, Tell me if you like it, Kane said. Kane said. Maybe she lied. Maybe she lied.
I kicked the images firmly aside. Kane had no place here. I grabbed Indigo's hand and pressed it to my breast, above my somersaulting heart. His palm grazed my nipple through my flimsy top, and the shock of needy sensation made me groan all over again. I wanted his tongue there, his teeth, the slide of his naked flesh. "Feel that. It doesn't lie."
"Sometimes it can." He spoke softly, pained, even as he caressed my hard nipple so sweetly, it hurt.
Sorrow whittled chunks from my desire. I wondered distantly who'd lied to him, what happened to make him say that, but it didn't matter. Dismay simmered beneath my pleasure. He didn't trust me. He thought I was making it up. "You're outta your mind, you know that?"
"Yeah, I think I am. For you." He sc.r.a.ped my hair back with his forearm, cradling my head close to his, his warm body pressing lightly on mine. I inhaled iron, coppery sweat, a tinge of rust-G.o.d, I couldn't get enough of his smell. Daring, I slipped my hand over his hip, feeling the sharp bone, a flash of naked skin above his jeans, the tight curve of his a.s.s.
He pressed against me with a pleasured murmur, and ducked to whisper in my ear. "You're amazing. Please don't forget this. No matter what happens. I like you, Ice-you're fresh and clean and perfect, you set me free and I've been locked up so long, I don't know what to do about you. I want to preserve you forever in gla.s.s. I want you in my bed. I want . . . other things. And I'm afraid, Ice. I'm afraid that I'll . . . that someone will steal you away. That you'll vanish if I close my eyes. I don't want that."
The longest speech I've ever heard from him, and he made no sense. He scared me with all this thinking. I didn't want to think about this. I just wanted the easy oblivion of his mouth on mine. I licked my bottom lip, quivering with need. "Jelly on a blanket. I'm not going anywhere. Can't we just-?"
"Shh." He crushed a kiss on my lips, heady and hot and just long enough to leave me gasping. He glanced up at the distant looming skysc.r.a.pers, breeze ruffling his inky hair. He fluttered eager wings, and his eyes twinkled with silvery mischief. "Come on. Let's do something nice. Walk with me. You like views?"
Tension rippled my blood. If we moved, this moment might vanish. I ran my thumb over his shining silver lips, letting him catch it with his tongue. "I like the view right here just fine."
But he dazzled me with that sultry silver smile, and delight bubbled in my veins, washing away my fear. If he was crazy, then so was I, and I wanted to drown in it with him. I'd regret this, sure as I'm yellow and funny-looking. But for the first time in my sorry little life, I truly didn't care.
I grinned back, antic.i.p.ation burning me up inside. "Okay. Where we going?"
Wait and see." Indigo pulls her up, her pretty hand so small and warm in his, and it's all he can do not to wrap her in his metal embrace, crush her lithe body to his and fly far away. The shift of her fingers on his palm is hypnotic. She's so light, like she's made of sunshine, and for an instant, her smile paralyzes him.
For once, he told the truth. It didn't hurt like he imagined it would. And she didn't run away. She's still here, not only shifting shyly in front of him but hot and vital in his blood, too, her taste lingering in his mouth, the precious feel of her still sparkling on his lips and fingers.
Insane, to have waited so long.
It's amazing just to walk with her, unafraid, watching her skip and laugh and splash happily through puddles as they thread their way through gritty black streets toward the city. Shadows loom tall, split like razors with neon-bright iron light poles. Humidity thickens, distant thunder growing closer. Indigo's metalsense flickers, tormenting him, and that black ache whispers cruelly in his skull, but he doesn't care. He can't take his eyes off her.
Memorize her. Drink her in. Consume her, before she vanishes like breath on a mirror.
Ahead of him, Ice twirls like a tipsy ballerina, wings fluttering crookedly, her fruity hair trailing shimmering droplets behind her. Her crystal laughter shines in the air like starlight. The lacy frills of her skirt tease her slim golden thighs, mesmerizing. She's chattering, telling him something, her enthusiasm bubbling like a waterfall, and he longs to listen, to let her voice wash the dirt from his skin.
But Ebony-ache blurs his vision, and the sneering black velvet whisper deafens him.-You're weak, Indigo. Cold and crunched up inside like tinfoil. You heard what she said. It's me she really covets. The part you despise. Don't dare think you can do this without me.- I can, he wants to scream. I can, and I will. I can, and I will. But pain crunches his teeth, slashing bright blood into his mouth. His muscles spasm, and he staggers in a metalbright blur, his wings scrabbling at the air to keep him upright. She's ahead, dancing crookedly in a puddle, and she doesn't see. He rakes stinging claws through his hair, fighting the horrid impulse to claw his own eyeb.a.l.l.s out. But pain crunches his teeth, slashing bright blood into his mouth. His muscles spasm, and he staggers in a metalbright blur, his wings scrabbling at the air to keep him upright. She's ahead, dancing crookedly in a puddle, and she doesn't see. He rakes stinging claws through his hair, fighting the horrid impulse to claw his own eyeb.a.l.l.s out.
Determination stings his bones. Ebony can't have her, not now. Taking her to this view, high above the city to his favorite solitary place, is insane. He should leave her, push her away like he's always done, keep her safe in case Ebony returns.
But his smitten heart wails at the thought. He wants to show her. Can't leave her now, just when he's getting it right. He swallows on iron bile, fighting a rush of warm quicksilver mischief. Not now, Ebony. Not ever. Not now, Ebony. Not ever.
Ice halts and turns, her precious amber eyes bright with concern. "You okay?"
"Uh-huh." Rich black giggles slide in Indigo's blood, but he forces them silent, and when she wiggles her delicate yellow fingers, he ignores the warning throbbing in his skull and takes her hand.
The elevator crunched and hummed, sweeping us upward in the soft lemon scent of detergent. Cool air-conditioned air fanned me, drying my sweat. I giggled, my eyelids itching under his warm hand. "Can I open them yet?"
"Nope." He pressed against my back, hard fae muscles shifting like curved metal parts as he moved, and I could feel him sniffing my hair, scenting me, inhaling my perfume.
Not that I was wearing any. I hadn't antic.i.p.ated this. At least tonight I didn't stink like a wh.o.r.e. At least, not yet. "How about now?"
"Nope." He teased my wings with crisp metal hair.
I rubbed back, and he rewarded me with a lick, spreading hot shivers all the way up to the tip. I giggled. "Now?"
"Nope nope. Keep 'em closed."
"Where we going?"
"Somewhere special. It's a surprise. You'll like it."
The elevator pinged, and slid to a halt. I squirmed in pleasure and excitement. A surprise. Goody good. Maybe he'd brought me to his place. Even better.
His hand slipped from my eyes, and I squeezed them shut, enjoying the game. Elevator door, sliding closed behind us, another lock clicking open. More cold air, my wings stinging dry, the lost warmth of his body a seductive echo. Slippery warm tiles under my bare feet. His k.n.o.bbly fingers strong and slick in mine, leading me on. The warm smoothness of metal around his wrist, brushing my arm. A door whispered aside, heated air rushing on gla.s.s, and we flittered up a few steps onto sun-warmed concrete.
Summernight breeze whipped my face, the smell of rain and nighttime and warm city streets. Distant traffic noise whispered. Spa.r.s.e raindrops stung pleasantly cool on my cheeks, and I opened my mouth, letting the fresh bitterness catch my tongue. Happiness flushed me. I wanted to run and twirl and jump until I was soaked. I laughed, stretching out my arms blindly. "Rain, rain, I love the rain. We there yet?"
"Just a bit farther." He guided me forward, rough concrete sc.r.a.ping my toes.
"Where we going?"
"Stop right there." He pulled me to a halt. My feet slicked on smooth steel. Breeze lifted my hair, spiraled warm fingers around my bare legs, dragged my skirt against my thighs. He slipped his arms around my neck from behind and covered my eyes again. His close whisper warmed my ear. "Do you trust me?"
My body started to ache all over again, longing for him to touch me the way he had in my dreams. "Gosh, you feel so nice. Sure I trust you. Can I look now?"
"No, I mean d'ya really trust me?"
"Umm . . . I guess. Sure. Some reason I shouldn't?"
A soft coppery chuckle. "Well, you did just let on that I'm your weakness, Ice. Apart from sparkle and fat juicy diamonds, that is."
Disquiet crept in on insect feet, worrying my high. "Uh-huh. Guess I did."
"And you did just admit we're in compet.i.tion. For the shiny, I mean."
"Guess we are." His body against mine made me shiver, for more reasons than one.
"And there's the whole left right bangle thing. That gives you the creeps."
"Uh-huh." The wind rose, threatening, whipping my hair in my face. Worry caressed my lungs with silent black fingers. So there was something to that bangle business after all. Which wrist was it on now? And this was just a balcony, right? In some skysc.r.a.per apartment? Alarm sparked, and I strained to open my eyes.
But he clenched his fingers tighter, his claws digging into my temple. My pulse skipped. He rubbed his crisp hair in mine, that cute little gesture I'd liked so much. Now, it seemed a wicked tease. He slid his open mouth across my cheek in a possessive kiss I wasn't sure I enjoyed, even if pleasure did shiver all the way down inside me. "And you did just tell me who owns that ruby necklace."
My heart thudded, too fast for comfort. "Uh-huh. Indigo, you're creeping me out now-"
"So the fact is, Lady Ice, you shouldn't trust me, because . . ." I felt his lips curve in a smile against my ear, and he whipped his hand away from my eyes.
I teetered, and looked down.
Empty s.p.a.ce lurched at my feet. My toes curled on the steel edge of a rooftop, a hundred floors of nothing looming below.
Shock jerked my limbs, and I overbalanced.
The air gripped me like sucking octopus tentacles, dragging me inexorably over the edge. Sour terror splurted into my mouth, and I screamed.
My wings pulled against swirling air, useless. My arms flailed in circles, reaching for anything to hold me back, my only solace Indigo's warm hand in the small of my back. He knows I can't fly. He'll catch me. He knows I can't fly. He'll catch me. "Indigo, help me!" "Indigo, help me!"
A sly metallic laugh, mocking. "Because I don't need you anymore," he finished coolly, and gently but firmly he pushed me off.
18.
For an instant, I didn't fall.
Anyone who's seen the cartoons where the scrawny coyote skids over a cliff will know what I mean. Until you believe you're falling, you're suspended in the rare sweet air of denial.
I'm not falling. He didn't just push me. I'm not about to die.
And then you look down, and you can't lie to yourself anymore.
The ground loomed up at me, glowing city lights impossibly far away. Terror chewed my guts to pulp. I whirled my arms, my feet tripping in s.p.a.ce. I strained my wings wide to catch myself, but pain speared my joints, my membranes stretched to breaking in a whirling gust of wind, and I knew I couldn't hold my weight.
My struggles drove me facedownward, and I fell.
Air howled in my ears, the screeching discord of madness. Water streamed from my eyes, blinding. I couldn't hear. I couldn't see. I couldn't think.
I screamed, and fell faster, and faster, my pulse a sprinting squeal of panic. The breath ripped from my lungs. Raindrops knifed my skin. My wings dragged behind me, wind tangling them uselessly together, and I struggled to free them, to force them out into the rushing air to break my fall. But my joints dislocated with an ugly jolt that resonated in my skull like a gunshot, and I just tumbled over and over, a tangle of wings and limbs and gut-melting terror.
h.e.l.lflash scorched before my eyes. This is how I die. Thrown from a skysc.r.a.per by the maniac who's stolen my heart. A blind, foolish, lovesick fairy girl who can't even fly This is how I die. Thrown from a skysc.r.a.per by the maniac who's stolen my heart. A blind, foolish, lovesick fairy girl who can't even fly.
The irony didn't cheer me up.
And then something thudded into my chest and dragged me sideways.
My limbs whiplashed, pain ripping into my joints. My chin smacked into my chest. Hair slashed at my face. My unjointed wings lurched taut in suddenly swirling wind, and my shoulder blades screamed with selfish agony. And then I gusted upward in a steely embrace, floating on glittery twitches of wings far stronger than mine.
My ripped ear ached. I opened my eyes in a blue-blotted haze. Windows, city lights in prismed reflection, a flash of silverfoil wings. The dark alcoves of apartments, green vines crawling on lattice, lounge lights and televisions in muted glow. In and over a gla.s.s railing with a polished white edge, and my burning feet splatted on something blessedly solid.
I reeled, my pulse galloping, and sucked in a breath for the first time in ages. Oxygen swarmed in my panicked blood, and relief swamped me, dizzying. Solid ground. Tiles. A room. I'm not dead. I'm not dead.
No b.l.o.o.d.y thanks to him.
A rich chuckle rumbled my back, and he pressed his cheek on the top of my head and slid strong arms around my waist. "Gotcha."
Crazy f.u.c.ker still had a hard-on. I could feel him, hot and tempting against my hip. Rage juddered my muscles. I struggled in his embrace, wrath drowning my grat.i.tude. "Get off me, you f.u.c.king freak!"
"Okay, okay." He let go, still laughing.
a.s.shole. I straightened, tossing my giddy head. "Fine. I'm f-Oops." My limbs buckled like wet paper, and I crumpled onto my b.u.t.t, my bones jarring. Mortified, I scrabbled to get up, but my strength melted in the aftermath of terror and the stupid relief of being alive. My abused wings hurt like poison. My pulse wouldn't slow. My skin wouldn't cool. I just lay there and flopped in a puddle of my own water like a grounded fish.
A very, very angry fish.
He leaned one elbow on the balcony rail, coppery sweat gleaming on silver-swelled muscles. Tension quivered along his thighs, and he was still breathing hard, his excitement uncontained. His blackmetal hair gleamed, tousled by the wind. He shot me that sultry silver-fanged smile, and I couldn't peel my eyes away.
Fury slashed through my blood like l.u.s.t. "How the f.u.c.k is this funny? You just threw me off a b.l.o.o.d.y skysc.r.a.per!"