USTiNYA NAuMOVNA. [_Entering_] How are you, my jewels! What are you gloomy and down in the dumps for?

[_Kisses are exchanged._

AGRAFeNA KONDRaTYEVNA. We'd about given you up.

LiPOCHKA. Well, Ustinya Naumovna, will he come soon?

USTiNYA NAuMOVNA. It's my fault, I own up at once; it's my fault! But our affairs, my jewels, aren't in a very good way.

LiPOCHKA. How! What do you mean by that?

AGRAFeNA KONDRaTYEVNA. Now what new notion have you got?

USTiNYA NAuMOVNA. Why, my pearls, our suitor is wavering.

BOLSHoV. Ha, ha, ha! You're a great go-between! How are you going to make a match?

USTiNYA NAuMOVNA. He's like a balky horse, he won't whoa nor giddup. You can't get a sensible word out of him.

LiPOCHKA. But what's this, Ustinya Naumovna? What do you mean, really?

AGRAFeNA KONDRaTYEVNA. Holy saints! How can it be!

LiPOCHKA. Have you just seen him?

USTiNYA NAuMOVNA. I was at his house this morning. He came out just as he was, in his dressing-gown; but he treated me, be it said to his honor. He ordered coffee, and rum, and heaps of fancy crackers--simply piles of them.

"Eat away!" says he, "Ustinya Naumovna." I had come on business, you know, so it was necessary to find out something definite. So I said: "You wanted to go to-day and get acquainted." But on that subject he wouldn't say a sensible word to me. "Well," he said, "we'll think it over, and advise about it." And all he did was pull at the cords of his dressing-gown.

LiPOCHKA. Why does he just fold his arms and sentimentalize? Why, it's disgusting to see how long this lasts.

AGRAFeNA KONDRaTYEVNA. Really, now, why is he showing off? Aren't we as good as he is?

USTiNYA NAuMOVNA. Plague take him; can't we find another fellow?

BOLSHoV. Don't you look for another, or the same thing will happen again.

I'll find another for you myself.

AGRAFeNA KONDRaTYEVNA. Yes, much you will, unless you get down off the stove and hustle. You've actually forgotten, I think, that you have a daughter.

BOLSHoV. We'll see!

AGRAFeNA KONDRaTYEVNA. We'll see what? We'll see nothing! Bah--don't talk to me, please; don't aggravate me. [_She sits down._

_BOLSHoV bursts out laughing;_ USTiNYA NAuMOVNA _walks off with_ LiPOCHKA _to the other side of the stage_. USTiNYA NAuMOVNA _inspects the girl's dress._

USTiNYA NAuMOVNA. My! how you're dolled up--that dress certainly makes you look better. You didn't make it yourself, did you?

LiPOCHKA. Horrible need I had of making it! Why, do you think we're beggars? What are dressmakers for?

USTiNYA NAuMOVNA. Beggars, the idea! Who's saying anything so foolish to you? They can tell from your house-keeping that you didn't make it yourself. However, your dress is a fright.

LiPOCHKA. What's the matter with you? Have you lost your wits? Where are your eyes? What gave you that wild notion?

USTiNYA NAuMOVNA. What are you getting on your high horse for?

LiPOCHKA. Nonsense! Think I'll stand such rubbish? What, am I an uncultivated hussy!

USTiNYA NAuMOVNA. What are you taking on so for? Where did such a caprice come from? Am I finding fault with your dress? Why, isn't it a dress?--and anybody will say it's a dress. But it isn't becoming to you; it's absolutely not the right thing for your style of beauty--blot out my soul if I lie. For you a gold one would be little enough; let's have one embroidered with seed-pearls. Ah! there you smile, my jewel! You see, I know what I'm talking about!

TISHKA. [_Entering_] Sysoy Psoich wants me to ask whether he, says he, can come in. He's out there with Lazar Elizarych.

BOLSHoV. March! Call him in here with Lazar.

TISHKA _goes out_.

AGRAFeNA KONDRaTYEVNA. Well, now, the relish isn't ready for nothing: we'll take a snack. Now, Ustinya Naumovna, I suppose you've been wanting a drop of vodka for a long time?

USTiNYA NAuMOVNA. Just the thing--it's one o'clock, the admiral's lunch-time.

AGRAFeNA KONDRaTYEVNA. Now, Samson Silych, move out of that place; what are you sitting there like that for?

BOLSHoV. Wait a minute; they're coming up. There's time enough.

LiPOCHKA. Mamma, I'll go change my dress.

AGRAFeNA KONDRaTYEVNA. Run along, my dear, run along.

BOLSHoV. Wait a minute before changing--there's a suitor coming.

AGRAFeNA KONDRaTYEVNA. What sort of a suitor can that be? Quit your fooling.

BOLSHoV. Wait a bit, Lipa, there's a suitor coming.

LiPOCHKA. Who is it, daddy? Do I know him or not?

BOLSHoV. You'll see him in a minute; and then, perhaps, you'll recognize him.

AGRAFeNA KONDRaTYEVNA. What are you listening to him for? What sort of a clown is coming? He's just talking to hear himself talk.

BOLSHoV. I told you that he was coming; and I usually know what I'm talking about.

AGRAFeNA KONDRaTYEVNA. If anybody were actually coming, then you'd be talking sense; but you keep saying he's coming, he's coming, but G.o.d knows who it is that's coming. It's always like that.

LiPOCHKA. Well, in that case I'll stay, mamma. [_She goes to the mirror and looks at herself. Then to her father_] Daddy!

BOLSHoV. What do you want?

LiPOCHKA. I'm ashamed to tell you, daddy!