AFoNYA. Who are you going to flirt with? Who are you going to charm? Have you no conscience?

LUKeRYA. What's the use of arguing with a fool! All he has to do is to chatter. Lies on the stove-couch and plots trouble.

TATYaNA. What kind of judge are you, anyway? My husband never says anything to me, and yet you dare to put in your opinion!

AFoNYA. Yes, but he's blinded by you, blinded. You've given him some sort of love-charm.

LUKeRYA. Keep still, seeing that G.o.d has made you a sick man. Tend to your own business; keep on coughing, there's no sin in that.

AFoNYA. Fool--brother is a fool! He's ruined himself.

LUKeRYA. Tanya, shouldn't I bring the samovar in here?

TATYaNA. Yes, and I'll set the cups. [_Puts cups on the table_. LUKeRYA _goes out_] You'd better go into the kitchen.

AFoNYA. I'm all right here.

TATYaNA. Strangers are coming and you'll make us gloomy.

AFoNYA. I won't go.

TATYaNA. It's a true proverb: "There's no brewing beer with a fool." Our guest is no cheap shopkeeper like your brother. A gentleman is coming, do you hear? What are you fussing about?

AFoNYA. What sort of a gentleman? Why is he coming?

TATYaNA. Just the same kind of gentleman as all the rest. He's our acquaintance, a rich landowner; well, now get out!

AFoNYA. He's a gentleman in his own house, but I'm one here. I'm not going to him, but he's coming here. I'm in my own house, and sick, so I won't consider anybody. Was it him you dressed up for?

TATYaNA. That's my business, not yours.

LUKeRYA _brings in the samovar_.

LUKeRYA. [_Placing the samovar on the table_] Lev Rodionych is coming with some people.

TATYaNA. I guess some of his relatives; what a horrid nuisance!

AFoNYA. Nuisance! Why did you ever intrude into our family?

_Enter_ KRASNoV, KuRITSYN, ULYaNA.

SCENE II

KRASNoV, TATYaNA, LUKeRYA, AFoNYA, KuRITSYN, _and_ ULYaNA.

KRASNoV. [_To his wife_] How are you? [_Kisses her_.

TATYaNA. How affectionate!

KRASNoV. Never mind. We have a perfect right to! Let me treat you. We've just received fresh grapes. [_Gives her a bunch_] Here I have brought you some company. The samovar is all ready--that's good.

ULYaNA. How do you do, sister? You are so proud you never call on us! But we're common folks; so we picked ourselves up and came, uninvited.

KuRITSYN. How do you do, sister? Why are you so contemptuous of your relatives? You might run over once in a while for tea; your feet are able to carry you!

KRASNoV. How has she time to go visiting? She has so much to do at home.

She's just beginning to get used to the household!

ULYaNA. Yes, sister, you must get used to the household. That's our woman's duty. You didn't marry a millionaire, so you needn't put on airs.

KuRITSYN. Yes, you'd better learn, and well.

ULYaNA. [_Approaching_ AFoNYA] Ah, Afonya, are you still sick? You ought to take something!

KuRITSYN. [_Also approaching_ AFoNYA] You eat more--then you'll get well.

If you don't want to, then force yourself to eat; that's what I tell you!

[_Speaks in a low voice to_ AFoNYA.

TATYaNA. [_To her husband_] What have you done! What sort of company have you brought?

LUKeRYA. To be frank, you've spoiled everything. How embarra.s.sing, how awfully embarra.s.sing!

KRASNoV. What, embarra.s.sing? Is some lord coming? What's the odds! Nothing to get excited over! Let him see our relatives.

LUKeRYA. Much he's interested!

KRASNoV. I can't chase my sister away for him. So there's nothing more to be said about it. I haven't set eyes on him yet, I don't know what he's like; these, at any rate, are our own. And, besides, they'll not stay long.

[_To his wife_] Be seated; pour the tea! Brother, sister, have a cup of tea.

_All excepting_ AFoNYA _seat themselves at the table_.

KuRITSYN. Brother, this is a holiday occasion, so it is customary before tea to--just a little. Don't you drink, yourself?

KRASNoV. From the day I married Tatyana Danilovna I stopped all that.

Tatyana Danilovna, treat brother and sister with some vodka.

TATYaNA. [_Takes out of the cupboard and places on the table decanter, gla.s.ses, and refreshments_] Have some, sister! [ULYaNA _drinks_] Have some, brother!

KuRITSYN. That's no invitation, you don't know how to do it.

KRASNoV. Brother, don't be quite so particular! My wife doesn't know your common ways, and there's no use knowing them. Please, without ceremony.

KuRITSYN. [_After drinking_] You are spoiling your wife, that's what I tell you. Freedom spoils even a good wife. You ought to take example from me, and teach her common sense; that would be lots better. Ask your sister how I trained her; we had a hot time of it.

ULYaNA. Yes, you, Manuylo Kalinich, are a terrible barbarian, and a blood-sucker! You spend your whole life bossing your wife and showing your authority.