LYUBiM KaRPYCH. Wait, brother, don't turn me out! Do you think Lyubim Tortsov has come to make jokes? Do you think Lyubim Tortsov is drunk? I have come to you to ask riddles. [_To KoRSHUNOV_] Why has an a.s.s long ears?

Now, then, give us an answer?

RAZLYULYaYEV. That's a hard one!

KoRSHUNOV. How do I know?

LYUBiM KaRPYCH. So that all may know that he is an a.s.s. [_To his brother_]

Here's a riddle for you! To whom are you marrying your daughter?

GORDeY KaRPYCH. That's not your affair! You've no business to ask me.

LYUBiM KaRPYCH. And here's another question for you. Are you an honest merchant, or not? If you are honest, don't a.s.sociate with a dishonest one.

You can't touch soot and not be defiled.

KoRSHUNOV. Joke away--but don't forget yourself, my dear fellow! Turn him out, or make him keep quiet.

LYUBiM KaRPYCH. That meant you! One can see you are as clean as a chimney-sweep!

GORDeY KaRPYCH. Brother, go away quietly, or it will be the worse for you.

LYUBoV GORDeYEVNA. [_Starting up in a fright_] Uncle, stop!

LYUBiM KaRPYCH. I won't be quiet! Now blood has begun to talk! _All the domestics and guests enter._

SCENE XII

_The same with PELAGeYA EGoROVNA, ANNA IVaNOVNA, GuSLIN, guests, and servants._

LYUBiM KaRPYCH. Listen, good people! They are insulting Lyubim Tortsov, they are driving him away. But am I not a guest too? Why should they drive me away? My clothes are not clean, but I have a clean conscience! I'm not Korshunov; I didn't rob the poor, I didn't ruin another's life, I didn't torment my wife with jealousy. Me they drive away, but he's their most esteemed guest, and he's put in the place of honor. Well, never mind!

They'll give him another wife. My brother is marrying his daughter to him!

Ha, ha, ha! [_Laughs tragically_]

KoRSHUNOV. [_Jumps up_] Don't believe him; he lies! He says this out of spite to me. He's drunk!

LYUBiM KaRPYCH. How out of spite? I pardoned you long ago. I'm a man of small account, a crawling worm, the lowest of the low! But don't you do evil to others.

GORDeY KaRPYCH. [_To the servants_] Take him away!

LYUBiM KaRPYCH. [_Holding up one finger_] Sh, don't touch me! It's an easy life in this world for a man whose eyes are shameless! Oh, men, men! Lyubim Tortsov is a drunkard, but he's better than you! Here, now, I'll go away of my own accord. [_Turning to the crowd_] Make way--Lyubim Tortsov is going!

[_Goes, and suddenly turns round_] Unnatural monster! [_Goes out_]

KoRSHUNOV. [_Laughing in a forced way_] So that's the way you keep order in your house! That's how you follow the fashions! At your house drunkards insult the guests! He, he, he! "I," says he, "shall go to Moscow; here they don't understand me!" Such fools are almost extinct in Moscow! They laugh at 'em there! "Son-in-law, son-in-law!" He, he, he! "Dear father-in-law!"

No, humbug, I won't let myself be insulted for nothing. No, you come along and bow down to me! Beg me to take your daughter!

GORDeY KaRPYCH. You think I'll bow down to you?

KoRSHUNOV. Yes, you will; I know you! You want a fine wedding. You'd hang yourself if only to astonish the town! But n.o.body wants her! How unlucky for you! He, he he!

GORDeY KaRPYCH. After you've said such words as these I won't have anything more to do with you! I never bowed down to any one in my life! If it comes to this, I'll marry her to any man I choose. With the money that I shall give as her dowry any man will---- _MiTYA comes in, and stops in the doorway._

SCENE XIII

_The same and MiTYA_

MiTYA. [_Turning towards the crowd_] What's all this noise?

GORDeY KaRPYCH. Here, I'll marry her to Mitya!

MiTYA. What, sir?

GORDeY KaRPYCH. Silence! Yes--I'll marry her to Mitya--to-morrow! And I'll give her such a wedding as you never saw! I'll get musicians from Moscow!

I'll ride alone in four coaches!

KoRSHUNOV. We'll see, we'll see! You'll come to ask my pardon, you will!

[_Goes out_.

SCENE XIV

_The same without_ KoRSHUNOV

PELAGeYA EGoROVNA. To whom, Gordey Karpych, did you say?

GORDeY KaRPYCH. To Mitya--Yes! What airs he put on! As if I were worse than he! "You'll come and bow down!" He lies! I won't go and bow down! Just to spite him I'll marry her to Dmitry. [_All are astonished_. MiTYA. [_Takes_ LYUBoV GORDeYEVNA _by the hand and goes to_ GORDeY KaRPYCH] Why out of spite, Gordey Karpych? One does not do such things out of spite. I don't want you to do it out of spite. I'd rather suffer torment all my life. If you are kind enough, then give us your blessing as is proper, in a fatherly fashion, with love. Because we love each other, and even before this happened, we wanted to confess our guilt to you. And now I'll be a true son to you forever, with all my heart.

GORDeY KaRPYCH. What, what, "with all your heart"? You're glad of the chance! But how did you ever dare to think of it? Is she your equal?

Remember to whom you're talking.

MiTYA. I know very well that you are my master, and that I, because of my poverty, cannot be her equal; but however, think as you please. Here I am; I've fallen in love with your daughter with all my heart and soul.

LYUBiM KaRPYCH _comes in and takes his stand in the crowd._

SCENE XV

_The same and_ LYUBiM KaRPYCH

GORDeY KaRPYCH. Well, how could you help loving her? Your taste isn't bad!