GORDeY KaRPYCH. [_Approaching_] What's the matter?

EGoRUSHKA. Uncle Lyubim Karpych has come in.

GORDeY KaRPYCH. Why did they let him in?

EGoRUSHKA. It must be that he just took it into his head; we can't stop him, anyhow. [_Bursts out laughing._]

GORDeY KaRPYCH. What's he doing?

EGoRUSHKA. He's turning out the guests. [_Bursts out laughing_] "You're glad to eat another man's bread," says he. "I'm also the host," says he.

"I," says he---- [_Bursts out laughing._]

GORDeY KaRPYCH. Sh--he's ruined me!

[_Goes out with EGoRUSHKA._]

KoRSHUNOV. What's all this about?

LYUBoV GORDeYEVNA. I don't know. It must be that uncle is--Sometimes he takes a notion.

_Enter_ RAZLYULYaYEV, MaSHA, _and_ LiZA.

SCENE IX

LYUBoV GORDeYEVNA, KoRSHUNOV, RAZLYULYaYEV, MaSHA, _and_ LiZA.

PELAGeYA EGoROVNA. [_At the door_] Where is your brother? Where is Lyubim Karpych? What has he done? Oh, misery!

LYUBoV GORDeYEVNA. He isn't here, mother.

PELAGeYA EGoROVNA _goes out._

RAZLYULYaYEV. There you are! Lyubim Karpych is playing some famous tricks!

Ha, ha, ha! He's cutting up such capers, it beats all!

LiZA. It isn't at all funny, it's just rude!

MaSHA. I simply didn't know what to do from embarra.s.sment.

_They seat themselves on the sofa._ LYUBiM KaRPYCH _comes in._

SCENE X

_The same and_ LYUBiM KaRPYCH

LiZA. Oh, good heavens, again!

MaSHA. This is terrible!

RAZLYULYaYEV. Ha, ha, ha!

LYUBiM KaRPYCH. Gurr, gurr, gurr; bul, bul, bul! With the finger nine! With the cuc.u.mber fifteen! How do, friend! [_Holds out his hand to_ KoRSHUNOV]

My respects! I haven't seen you for a thousand years and a day! How are you?

KoRSHUNOV. Oh, is this you, Lyubim?

LYUBiM KaRPYCH. [_Covering his face with his hands_] I'm not I, and the horse is not mine, and I'm not a coachman.

KoRSHUNOV. I remember you, brother! You used to roam the town and pick up kopeks.

LYUBiM KaRPYCH. You remember how I used to pick up kopeks, but do you remember how you and I used to go on sprees together? How we sat through the dark autumn nights, and how we skipped back and forth, from the tavern to the wine-shop? And don't you know who ruined me, and who turned me out with a beggar's wallet?

KoRSHUNOV. Why didn't you look out for yourself? n.o.body dragged you in by the collar, my dear fellow. It's your own fault.

LYUBiM KaRPYCH. I was a fool! But, well, _you_ haven't much to be proud of!

You raised me to such heights, you promoted me to such a place--I've stolen nothing, and yet I'm ashamed to look men in the eyes!

KoRSHUNOV. You're the same old joker as ever! [_Turning to_ LYUBoV GORDeYEVNA] You've got a jolly uncle! For old acquaintance sake, we'll surely have to give him a ruble.

LYUBiM KaRPYCH. Sh! It's not a question of rubles here! Pay up your old debts, and for my niece here a million three hundred thousand! I won't sell her cheaper.

KoRSHUNOV. [_Laughing_] Won't you come down?

LYUBiM KaRPYCH. Not a kopek!

RAZLYULYaYEV. Aha, Lyubim Karpych! Don't you take any less!

GORDeY KaRPYCH _comes in._

SCENE XI

The same with GORDeY KaRPYCH

GORDeY KaRPYCH. So you are here! What are you doing in my house? Clear out!

KoRSHUNOV. Wait a bit, Gordey Karpych; don't turn him out! Why turn him out? Let him show off and make jokes. He, he, he!

LYUBiM KaRPYCH. It's my brother that's joking, in giving his daughter to you, but I'll play such a joke on you as won't suit your stomach!

GORDeY KaRPYCH. This isn't the place for him. Get out!