The Homeric custom of bringing valuable presents or of performing valiant deeds to win a maiden's hand had long pa.s.sed away, and, in the great days of Athens, the father had to provide a dowry consisting partly of cash, partly of clothes, jewelry, and slaves. Solon, who, as Plutarch tells us, wished to have marriages contracted from motives of pure love or kind affection, and to further the birth of children, rather than for mercenary considerations, decreed that no dowries should be given and that the bride should have only three changes of clothes; but this good custom had pa.s.sed away with the era of simple living. So distinctly was the dowry the indispensable condition of marriage, that poor girls were often endowed by generous relatives, or the State itself would provide a wedding portion for the daughters of men deserving well of their country. For example, when the Athenians heard that the granddaughter of Aristogiton, the Tyrannicide, was in needy circ.u.mstances in the isle of Lemnos, and was so poor that n.o.body would marry her, they brought her back to Athens, married her to a man of good birth, and gave her a farm at Potamos for a marriage portion. The dowry was generally secured to the wife by rigid restrictions; in most cases of separation, the dowry reverted to the wife's parents; and though the husband's fortune might be confiscated, the marriage portion of the wife was exempt.

Of the ceremonies and formalities of marriage, the solemn betrothal was the first and most important, as it established the legality of the union; and it was at this ceremony that the dowry was settled upon the bride. In the presence of the two families, the father of the maiden addressed the bridegroom in the following formula: "That legitimate children may be born, I present you my daughter." The betrothed then exchanged vows by clasping their right hands or by embracing each other, and the maiden received a gift from her affianced as a token of love.

The marriage usually followed close upon the betrothal.

The favorite month for the ceremony was named Gamelion, or the "marriage month"; this included part of our January and part of February. On the eve of the wedding, the good will of the divinities protecting marriage, especially Zeus Teleios, Hera Teleia, and Artemis Eukleia, was invoked by prayer and sacrifices.

Strange to say, the wedding itself, though given a religious character by its attendant ceremonies, was neither a religious nor a legal act.

The legality of the marriage was established by the betrothal, while its religious aspect was found solely in the rites in honor of the marriage G.o.ds.

A second ceremony, universally observed, was the bridal bath, taken individually by both bride and bridegroom previously to their union. In Athens, from time immemorial, the water for this bath was taken from the sacred fountain, Callirrhoe, called since its enclosure by Pisistratus "Enneacrunus," or "the Nine Spouts." Authorities differ as to whether a boy or a girl served as water carrier on this occasion; but the latter supposition is supported by an archaic picture on a hydria, representing the holy fountain Callirrhoe flowing from the head of a lion under a Doric superstructure. A girl, holding in her hand branches of laurel or myrtle, looks musingly down on a hydria, which is being filled with the bridal water. Five other maidens are grouped about the fountain, some with empty pitchers awaiting their turn, others about to go home with their filled pitchers. No doubt it is in the month of marriage, and many maidens are preparing for the happy event.

On the wedding day, toward dark, a feast was held at the parental home, at which were gathered all the bridal party--for this was one of the few occasions in Athenian life when men and women dined together. Here the bride and groom appeared, clad in purple and crowned with flowers sacred to Aphrodite. The distinctive mark of the bride was the veil, which covered her head and partly concealed her face. All the guests wore wreaths in honor of the joyous event. With her own hand the bride plucked the poppies and sesame which were to crown her forehead, for it would have been an ill omen to wear a nuptial wreath that had been purchased.

Soon the banquet is concluded with libations and prayer, just as night begins to fall. Then the bride leaves the festively adorned parental home, and takes her place in a chariot, between the bridegroom and his best man, for the wedding journey to her new abode. The place of honor in the procession that follows is held by the bride's mother, who walks behind the chariot, carrying the wedding torches, which have been kindled at the family hearth, that the bride may have the sacred fire of her own home continued in her new dwelling. The festal company join in singing the wedding song to Hymenaeus to the sound of flutes as the chariot leads slowly toward the bridegroom's house. At the close of the _Birds_ of Aristophanes, when occurs the wedding of Pisthetaerus and Basileia, the chorus attends the wedded pair with the following lines:

"Jupiter, that G.o.d sublime, When the Fates in former time Matched him with the Queen of Heaven At a solemn banquet given, Such a feast was held above, And the charming G.o.d of Love Being present in command, As a bridegroom took his stand With the golden reins in hand, Hymen, Hymen, Ho!"

The new home, like that of the bride's father, is adorned with garlands of laurel and ivy--the laurel for the husband, as the symbol of victory, and the delicate and graceful ivy for the bride, embodying her attachment for her husband, as that of the ivy for the st.u.r.dy oak. At the door, the bridegroom's mother is awaiting the young couple, with the burning torches in her hand. As the spouses enter, a shower of sweetmeats is poured upon their heads, partly in jest, partly to symbolize the abundance and prosperity invoked upon them. To typify the bride's new duties as mistress of the house, a pestle used for bruising corn has been hung up near the bridal chamber; and in conformity to another custom, prevailing since the days of Solon, she is expected to eat a quince, which was considered to be a symbol of fruitfulness. Soon the bridegroom's mother attends the couple to the _thalamos_, or nuptial chamber, where, for the first time, the bride unveils herself to her husband. Meanwhile, before the door, the bride's attendants, crowned with hyacinth, join in the epithalamium, or marriage hymn, a characteristic specimen of which we possess in the bridal hymn to Helen, by Theocritus:

"Slumberest so soon, sweet bridegroom?

Art thou overfond of sleep?

Or hast thou leaden-weighted limbs?

Or hast thou drunk too deep When thou didst fling thee to thy lair?

Betimes thou shouldst have sped, If sleep were all thy purpose, Unto thy bachelor's bed, And left her in her mother's arms, To nestle and to play, A girl among her girlish mates, Till deep into the day:-- For not alone for this night, Nor for the next alone, But through the days and through the years Thou hast her for thine own."

And it ends thus:

"Sleep on, and love and longing Breathe in each other's breast, But fail not when the morn returns To rouse you from your rest; With dawn shall we be stirring, When, lifting high his fair And feathered neck, the earliest bird To clarion to the dawn is heard.

O G.o.d of brides and bridals, Sing, 'Happy, happy pair!'"

A fragment of Anacreon has preserved for us an example of the morning nuptial chant, sung by the chorus to greet the bride and groom on their awakening:

"Aphrodite, queen of G.o.ddesses; Love, powerful conqueror; Hymen, source of life: it is of you that I sing in my verses. 'Tis of you I chant, Love, Hymen, and Aphrodite. Behold, young man, behold thy wife! Arise, O Straticlus, favored of Aphrodite, husband of Myrilla, admire thy bride!

Her freshness, her grace, her charms, make her shine among all women.

The rose is queen of flowers; Myrilla is a rose midst her companions.

Mayst thou see grow in thy house a son like to thee!"

Then begins a second fete day for the bridal pair. Husband and wife receive visits and gifts from relatives and friends, and exchange presents with each other. The festivities are concluded with a banquet in the husband's home, at which the wife's position in the clan of her husband's family is recognized; and she may now appear without her veil, as the mistress of her new home.

Wedding scenes are frequently the subject of ill.u.s.tration in antique art. The most remarkable of these is the splendid wall painting known as the _Aldobrandini Wedding_, preserved in the Vatican. It represents, painted on one surface, three different scenes of the marriage ceremony.

The central picture represents a chamber of the _gynoe onitis_, where the bride, chastely veiled, reclines on a beautiful couch; "Peitho, the G.o.ddess of persuasion, sits by her side, as appears from the crown on her head and from the many-folded peplus falling over her back. She pleads the bridegroom's cause, and seems to encourage the timorous maiden. A third female figure, to the left of the group, leaning on a piece of a column, seems to expect the girl's surrender; for she is pouring ointment from an alabastron into a vase made of sh.e.l.l, so as to have it ready for use after the bridal bath. Most likely she represents the second handmaiden of Aphrodite, Charis, who, according to the myth, bathed and anointed her mistress with ambrosial oil in the holy grove of Paphos. The pillar at the back of Charis indicates the part.i.tion wall between this chamber and the one next to it on the left. We here see a large basin filled with water, standing on a columnar base. The water is perhaps that of the well Callirrhoe, fetched by the young girl standing close by for the nuptial bath. The girl seems to look inquiringly at the matronly figure approaching the basin on the other side, and putting her fingers into the water as if to test its warmth. Her sublime form and priestly dress, together with the leaf-shaped instrument in her hand (probably the instrument used at l.u.s.trations), seem to portray her as Hera Teleia, the protecting G.o.ddess of marriage, in the act of examining and blessing the bridal bath. The third scene of the picture is placed at the entrance of the bride's house. The bridegroom, crowned with vine branches, is sitting on the threshold, as if listening impatiently for the close of the ceremony inside the house. In front of him is a group of three maidens, one of whom seems to be making an offering at a portable altar, while the other two begin the hymenaeus to the accompaniment of the cithara."

With the completion of the marriage ceremonies, the maiden has pa.s.sed from the _gynaeconitis_ of her father to that of her husband; but, though still under masculine control, she is absolute mistress of her limited sphere; yet she is expected to refrain from manifesting interest in the public affairs of her husband and to confine her attention to her domestic duties.

"Good women must abide within the house; Those whom we meet abroad are nothing worth,"

writes the poet; and this couplet expresses the Athenian husband's idea of the wife's proper sphere of activity. His life is essentially an outdoor one. The market place, a the law courts, the numerous colonnades, are the centres of his activity, where he pa.s.ses his time in attending to business, in discussing politics, in telling or hearing some new thing. His recreations consist in visiting the _palaestrae_ or the _gymnasia_, the clubhouses of ancient Greece, and in partic.i.p.ating with his chosen friends in banquets at which beautiful flute players and cultivated hetaerae afford pastime and amus.e.m.e.nt. He pa.s.ses but little time at home.

Meanwhile, the wife superintends the slaves and a.s.signs them their several duties; she looks after the stores, utensils, and furnishings of the household; she presides over the kitchen; she nurses the sick; and, above all, she devotes her attention to the careful rearing of the children, whose prattle breaks the otherwise monotonous existence of the women's apartments. Occasionally, she visits her friends, or receives them in her house; but the gathering of women was discouraged by the husbands, who believed the effect of gossip to be matrimonial discontent.

Religious ceremonies occupied a large part of feminine life, and women over sixty might attend any funerals to which inclination called them; and funerals among the Greeks, save in isolated cases, were not hopelessly solemn affairs. These elderly women were also privileged to attend memorial exercises in honor of the distinguished dead, and it was on an occasion such as this that Thucydides puts into the mouth of Pericles the famous dictum, expressing so aptly the Athenian conception of the ideal woman: "The best wife is the one of whom the least is said, either of good or evil." The tortoise was the symbol of feminine life--the creature that never goes out of her sh.e.l.l. Lycurgus draws a dramatic picture of the receipt of the news at Athens of the fateful day at Chaeronea, when the Athenian women stood in the doors of their houses, making inquiries concerning husbands and brothers and fathers, but not, as might have been expected, gathering in the streets to discuss the terrible tidings.

Although their opportunities for social life were so limited, the Athenian women devoted much time to their toilet. Bathing was a daily habit, and was attended by anointing with oils and fragrant essences.

The dignity and grace of Athenian dress are admirably ill.u.s.trated by the drapery of the female forms which support the roof of the southern portico of the Erechtheum. The tunic, with its overhanging _diplois_, fastened round the hips by means of a girdle, was gracefully arranged in symmetrical folds. Linen was usually the material employed, and white was the favorite color among modest Greek women; yet particolored Oriental garments were also worn. Dresses were frequently adorned with inwoven patterns and attached borders and embroideries. The outer garment was the mantle, or _peplos_, shaped like a shawl and capable of a variety of picturesque drapings. The headdress of women was simple.

Hats were not worn, except on journeys, and, beyond the customary veil, the chief ornament was a band for holding together the plentiful hair.

This was frequently knotted at the top of the head and fastened by pins of gold and silver, the tops of which were shaped like the pineapple or the lotus flower; sometimes the front hair was arranged in small ringlets, while the back hair partly fell smoothly over the neck, and partly descended below the shoulders in long curls. Frequently, ribbons were used to bind the hair, adorned, where it rested on the forehead, with a plaque of metal formed like a frontal, called the _stephane_; or a band of cloth or leather was used, broad in the centre and growing narrower at the ends, styled _sphendone_ from its similarity to a sling. Sandals were the usual form of footwear, and variety was given by the length and graceful folding of the straps. Exquisite simplicity was also seen in the jewelry. The chief ornament was the necklace; these were sometimes composed of b.a.l.l.s of gold and garnets intermingled, or of emeralds alternating with fine pearls and attached by little chains.

Bracelets owe their Greek name to the form they were generally given--that of a serpent. They were usually worn on the wrist, sometimes on the upper arm, and sometimes even about the ankle. At times, bracelets were merely circlets of gold. Sometimes they were adorned with medallions at intervals, sometimes they were set with emeralds, garnets, or pearls. The ear-rings were of graceful form, sometimes representing a swan in black enamel, with bill, wings, feet, and tail of gold, sometimes a dove on a delicate pedestal, a bunch of grapes with a golden stem, or a sphinx, or a panther's head. The clasps or buckles which bound the tunic or the peplus, usually shaped in the form of an arc, exhibited rare beauty. Rings, set with carnelian, agate, sardonyx, amethyst, and other gems, and brooches of every variety, completed the ornaments in the jewel cases of the Athenian women.

In disclosing the secrets of the Athenian toilet, love of truth compels us to state that these fair dames had recourse to the use of cosmetics, perhaps to overcome the paleness of complexion incident to lack of outdoor life. Cheeks and lips were given a ruddy hue by the use of _minium_, or the root of the alkanet; eyebrows were darkened by applying pulverized antimony; and dark hair could be changed to blonde by the use of a certain powder, which gave a golden tint, much sung of by poets.

When one reads of the great attention paid by the Athenian women to the cultivation of grace of form, of taste in dress, and of beauty of feature, it is hard to realize that such charms were confined to the women's apartments, and merely revealed themselves to the outside world on festive occasions.

Though the gallantry of modern times was not a part of the habitual equipment of an Athenian gentleman, yet he was very careful as to his behavior in the presence of ladies. There was strict observance of the etiquette which controlled the relations of the s.e.xes. No gentleman would enter an abode of women in the absence of the master, and unbecoming language in the presence of women was a gross offence. The husband carefully abstained in his wife's presence from doing anything that might lower her estimation of his dignity. A certain distance was apparently maintained between married persons, and cordial familiarity was sometimes sacrificed to love of social forms. No doubt, too, fine breeding and true courtesy were generally shown the wife and ruler of his home by the Athenian husband who, like Agathon in the _Symposium_ of Plato, exhibited the most delicate tact and sentiment in his treatment of men.

In the peaceful atmosphere of the home, the Athenian gentlewoman was expected to live an irreproachable life. Infidelity on the part of the husband was regarded as a venial office, but the wife who violated her marriage vows was punished with the most terrible disgrace. Should she marry again, the man who ventured to wed her was disfranchised. She was to all intents and purposes an outcast from society. If she appeared in a temple, she might be subjected to any indignity short of death.

Furthermore, a man could divorce his wife on the slightest pretext; while the wife, to obtain a divorce, was compelled to lodge with the archon a complaint against her husband and a prayer for the return of her dowry, and in the ensuing process she was subjected to many delays and inconveniences. Then, as she was still a minor in the eyes of the law, a wife who had left her husband was obliged to return to a state of tutelage under her father or brother; and many a suffering wife endured in silence neglect or ill usage rather than thus return to her father's control. Yet many a high-spirited woman revolted against the infidelities of her husband. The saddest incident of this marital inequality that we find in Greek literature is the story of Alcibiades's wife, Hipparete, and her case shows how difficult it was for a wife to a.s.sert her rights. Hipparete's early death leaves on the reader the impression that her heart was broken by her brilliant husband's inconstancy and brutality.

"Hipparete," writes Plutarch, "was a virtuous and dutiful wife, but at last growing impatient because of the outrages done to her by her husband's continual entertaining of hetaerae, strangers as well as Athenians, she departed from him and retired to her brother's house.

Alcibiades seemed not at all concerned at this, and lived on still in the same luxury; but the law required that she should deliver to the archon, in person, and not by proxy, the instrument by which she claimed a divorce; and when, in obedience thereto, she presented herself before the archon to perform this, Alcibiades came in, caught her up, and carried her home through the market place, no one daring to oppose him or to take her from him. She continued with him till her death, which happened not long after, when Alcibiades had gone to Ephesus."

We find in Xenophon's remarkable treatise on _Domestic Economy_ an interesting description of the method pursued by a model Greek gentleman in training for her domestic duties his young wife, a tender girl of fifteen, reared under the strictest restraint to the end that she might "see as little, hear as little, and ask as few questions as possible."

He was not content that his young wife should simply know the ordinary household duties of spinning and weaving, and directing her maid, but he wished to educate her so that she might have larger conceptions of her sphere as well as the ability to understand what was desirable for the happiness of both. The account which the model husband, Ischomachus, gives in his dialogue with Socrates of his experience in wife training throws many sidelights on the marriage relations of the Athenians and the philosophy of their system. As soon as the child-wife was properly domesticated, so that she dared to converse freely, her husband began to talk to her of their mutual responsibilities and to inculcate those lessons which would be to their mutual advantage. She was now, he goes on, the mistress of his house; henceforth everything should be theirs in common--the caring for their fortune, as well as the education of the children whom the G.o.ds might grant them. He will never question which of them has done the more to increase their common store, but each shall strive to contribute largely to that fortune.

The young wife, in her astonishment at such words, asks: "How can I help you in this, or wherein can the little power I have do you any good? For my mother told me that both my fortune as well as yours was wholly at your command, and that it must be my chief care to live virtuously and soberly."

ISCHOMACHUS.--This is true, good wife; but it is the part of a sober husband and virtuous wife not only to preserve the fortune they are possessed of, but to contribute equally to improve it.

WIFE.--And what do you see in me that you believe me capable of a.s.sisting in the improvement of your fortune? ISCHOMACHUS.--Use your endeavor, good wife, to do those things which are acceptable to the G.o.ds and are appointed by the law for you to do.

WIFE.--And what are those things, dear husband?

Ischomachus then enumerates the things which are acceptable to the G.o.ds and appointed by the law, and determines the limits which separate the duties of man from those of woman. He says: "The wisdom of the divinity has prepared the union of the two s.e.xes, and has made of marriage an a.s.sociation useful to each one,--a union which will secure for them, in their children, support in their old age.

"It is man's duty to acquire food, to be busied with field work, to care for flocks, and to defend himself against enemies. Therefore the G.o.d has given him strength and courage. The woman must care for and prepare the food, weave garments, and rear the children. Therefore the G.o.d has given her a delicate physique which will keep her in the home, an exquisite tenderness of heart which brings about her maternal care and love and a watchful vigilance for the safety of her little ones.

"Since they are united for their common advantage, they are endowed with the same faculties of memory and diligence. Both are endowed with the same force of soul to refrain from things harmful, and the one who practises this virtue the more has, by the grace of the divinity, the better recompense. However," he adds, "as they are not equally perfect, they have the more occasion for each other's a.s.sistance; for when man and woman are thus united, what the one has occasion for is supplied by the other."

Ischomachus then shows that in well performing their respective functions husband and wife conform themselves to the rules of the good and the beautiful. If the wife leave the home, or the husband remain there, he or she is violating the laws of nature. He compares the duties of the wife to those of the queen bee, which, without leaving the hive, extends her activity around her, sends others to the field, receives and stores away provisions as they are brought, watches over the construction of cells, and brings up the little bees.

There is one duty of which he tells her with hesitation--the caring for the slaves when they may be ill. But to his great joy she responds: "That is surely an act of charity, and becoming every good-natured mistress, for we cannot oblige people more than by helping them when they are sick. This will surely engage the love of our servants to us and make them doubly diligent to us on every occasion."

He answers: "By reason of the good care and tenderness of the queen bee, all the rest of the hive are so affectionate to her, that whenever she is disposed to go abroad the whole colony belonging to her accompany and attend upon their queen."

The thought of being queen startles the young girl, whose education has taught her that pa.s.sive obedience is the first duty of a wife. Her husband has placed in her hands a sceptre which she thinks herself unable to wield. She therefore says:

"Dear Ischomachus, tell me, is not the business of the mistress bee what you ought to do rather than myself? or have you not a share in it? For my keeping at home and directing my servants will be of little account, unless you send home such provisions as are necessary to employ us."

ISCHOMACHUS.--And my providence would be of little use, unless there is one at home who is ready to receive and take care of those goods that I send home. Have you not observed what pity people show to those who are punished by being sentenced to pour water into sieves until they are full? The occasion of pity is because those people labor in vain.