Chapter 87

Editor: Whiteflares

Trigger warning: painful first time

Being close has plenty of advantages, one of them being leaving little space to look away.

Shen Yans eyes flickered slightly, his expression a bit uneasy. It was easy to see that he was intending to look away, yet Qi Jing moved closer, insisting on staying within his line of sight.

I talked with Puppet Show the scriptwriter from Trap on QQ. She said that at the time, it was you who asked for my QQ number. He said in a low voice, his tone as if he was maybe laughing, or maybe not. He hooked his fingers on Shen Yans cheek, rubbing the slight pale stubble on his chin with his knuckles, Is that true, Dr Shen?

Shen Yan didnt reply at first.

He took a while observing Qi Jings expressionit was the one he was so familiar with, eyes narrowed into half-crescents and corners of his lips curled up as he chuckled silently. It was completely unrelated to rebuke of any sorts.

Seeing this, he sighed softly. Yes.

Qi Jing was surprised. He only intended to tease him for a bit, but he didnt expect Shen Yan to give such a conscientious reply, so he couldnt help but crack a smile. He adjusted his sitting posture, moving his weight a bit before he leaned on Shen Yans chest, the ear pressing against it catching his heartbeats clearly.

What were you thinking at that time?

What was I thinking

Shen Yan repeated his words in a murmur, as if ascertaining the question he was asked, but also as if searching through his heart for the answer.

Qi Jing stayed snuggled in his embrace for a while, then suddenly said, his voice hoarse, At that time I had already left that message, intending to say goodbye to you and disappear from your life like this.

When he said that, Qi Jing felt his arm being grabbed by Shen Yan, as if he felt the late coming of fear, the fear of him suddenly disappearing.

Qi Jing didnt struggle, only smiling as he continued narrating that turbulent part of his life in a calm, observer-like voice, That email you sent me At that time, I didnt even have the courage to reply to it, so I just pretended that I didnt receive it in the first place. At first I wanted to delete it, but I couldnt harden my heart to do that. Silly, isnt it?

Its not. Shen Yans voice was hoarse. With half of his face against Shen Yans chest, Qi Jing could feel its movement becoming more rapid.

Later, I got into a car accident, ending up like this.Qi Jing took off the arm sling, placing his left hand covered in the cast in a comfortable position by his side. During the appointment, the doctor had said that his bones had already more or less recovered and that he could now make some small movements with it, so it was now much less inconvenient to move. Although now, my recovery is going smoothly the moment the car crashed, I was really so afraid.

Really, so afraid

Afraid that his life would come to end between that metal wreckage and the shards of glass. There was still a message in his mailbox he had yet to reply to, its sender still so vivid in his mind, leaving him unable to forget.

If I happened to die at that place, I would never get a chance to reply to that message of yours.

Qi Jings voice lowered.

Because once the pain and shock receded, that terrifying thought genuinely flashed through his mind. The moment of the world spinning in the car, the view of the glass shattering and caving inneither of those had as big of an impact on him as this thought.

It took him living together for days and nights, getting used to this calm and beautiful life, before he could look back at this momentonly like this would he not wake up from the nightmares at night.

Talking about it now, he was actually already more calm than Shen Yan, as if he was narrating a story completely unrelated to him. After finishing it, he looked sideways at the listener at his side; Shen Yans face was a bit pale, holding onto him without any movement.

Thats why, Qi Jing stopped for a moment, slowly revealing a faint, clear smile, if the time was to flow backwards, I would certainly not avoid you anymore, I wouldnt avoid my true thoughts.

Shen Yans hold on his wrist loosened a bit, but he didnt let go.

Qi Jing propped himself up, looking him into the eyes, guiding him patiently with a question, And you, at that time, why did you want to keep in touch with me?

Why?

What was he thinking at that time? Perhaps he never thought deeply about it.

At that time I only thought of one thing. No matter if he thought through it or not, his heart had already made a choice in his stead, I didnt want to miss out on you like that

He couldnt forget.

Couldnt give up.

By the time he realised, his hand had already reached out, holding that man tightly in his arms with no second thoughts.

Pft Qi Jings eyes were wet as he laughed softly, Thats the same for me right now, do you know that?

Shen Yan didnt say anything anymore, only staring at him without looking away.

Qi Jing lowered his head, confessing hoarsely by his ear, Shen Yan, I have no regrets having fallen in love with you

No matter who you are.

No. 22?

After calling this number for the second time, Yang Chunqu secretly broke in a cold sweat.

No. 22 was

Kitty

Papa

.

Having learned from the previous precedence, she checked for the presence of the competitors at the start of the audition. But after realising that this contestant wasnt in the channel, she couldnt help but think of the happenings during the Bai Ke audition. At that time, he couldnt get online in time, resulting in the organizators giving him a warning notice for a deliberate stalling for a time; even she, the MC, got involved.

Thats why this time, she was especially careful with how long she could wait. She couldnt delay for too long, so as not to feed the rumours.

To keep such an incident from happening once again, Yan Chunqu helped the staff to check the attendance of the contestants present at the audition, so that no one could use an excuse of having problems with the equipment to stall for a time. Actually, this way of doing things wasnt targeted against

Kitty

Papa

, it was just a measure to keep the organizators from getting involved in case of an accident.

Contestant No.22, contestant No.22, have you not prepared your equipment yet? Yang Chunqu once again asked weakly.

At the same time, the staff searched for this number among the channel members, but there was still no ID like that on the list. Hearing Yang Chunqu calling again and again, all of the listeners were shocked.

Audience 1: ( |||)Kittys Papa didnt come?

Audience 2: ( |||)No way I only came here tonight for him

Audience 3: (crosses fingers) It cant be that something happened in the last moment making him unable to attend the audition?

Audience 4: Commenters above, dont be in such a hurry, it might be that since its not his turn yet, he doesnt want to go online ahead of time, thats all. Either way, hes 22nd in the line-up, so its still very early for him.Waaaah, thats actually just me comforting myself

Audience 5: I hope that there wont be any accident.

Audience 6: I hope that there wont be any accident. +1

Yang Chunqu looked at the discussions in the chat, her heart also growing apprehensive. But the competition wouldnt wait for a person, even more so the time.

Its almost 8:50 PM already. Staff, please proceed to prepare to announce the officially chosen lines. She had no other alternative than to continue what she was supposed to do.

Behind the screen, the sounds started to appear.

And in the room, all sounds ceased.

Until a snap could be heard.

A white button flickered shortly under the light as it shot, landing on the floor before rolling a full circle.

The lonely, broken threads hung from the shirts collar, but very quickly, they were once again put into a disarray by the hands pulling the collar apart. Too much strength was used, so the cloth of the shirt was pulled taut on the neck, causing its owner a dull pain and leaving him with no other choice but to follow wherever it was pulled, his Adams apple bobbinga sign of handing over all his rights to the other man.

It was their first time that mans behaviour couldnt be described as gentle.

Yet, it still made him feel fulfilled.

The back of his head was just against the wall, but it didnt hurtthat mans hand was behind to protect it. Still, the wall was nothing but hard, having ones back pressed against it didnt feel that good. He was just about to move away from it, but a hand caressed his face, passing by the line between his ear and hair, fingers spreading wide as it held his head in place.

The man before his eyes moved closer.

Qi Jing instinctively closed his eyes, gasping quickly as he accepted the kiss, one that could easily scald him.

The bed in the study was already narrow in the first place, so with two men entwined on it, the place left was even more scarcethey could only try to tangle together tightly.

Shen Yans hand on the back of his head plunged into his hair, pushing it closer strongly as he kissed him with savagery. His other hand had already felt its way to the second button, the pulling still as ruthless but not to the point of snapping the button off, only crumpling up the shirt on Qi Jings body into an utter mess.

A faint whimper escaped Qi Jings lips.

His head was a bit dizzy from the lack of air, so he had to rest his forehead against Shen Yans shoulder. Completely stripped from all of his strength, he curled up in that mans embrace.

Shen Yans kisses were erratic, like those couple of raindrops at the beginning of the rainthey left him wet, but not drenched, only fueling his thirst.

Ngh

At first, he was still leaning forward, but gradually, his body grew soft and his back slowly leaned weakly against the wall.

All of it was just like an ailment of some sort. At the beginning, he could still muster some strength, but then, he went completely feeble, the heat rushing to his head burning his mind into the ashes, leaving his head blank.

Qi Jing felt as if he was a lantern made of paperthe fire within blazed stronger, brighter, the paper just on the verge of burning, scalding to the extreme.

He tried his best to stick to the wall, the wall could at least cool a person off.

But Shen Yan pulled him over, holding him tightly into an embrace. As they entwined intimately, their breaths sounded just like a paper lantern being litthe tongues of flames started their dance, slowly brushing the places where their bodies met. He couldnt help a muffled groan escaping his lips.

Shen Yan, Only when he called that name he realised how hoarse, how burned his voice had become, Shen Yan I dont regret.

Shen Yan didnt reply.

He only lowered his head, once again biting his lips.

The kisses before were like the beginnings of the rainfall, but now the rain got stronger, falling continuously with force.

As if he had already waited for too long, his throat parched beyond extreme, causing him to seek for a way to quench his thirst. Just touching their lips was far from enough, so he also moved his tongue to join in this rain.

First, they touched each others lips.

A moment, a while as they couldnt bear to part, not until they remembered the tasteonly then they pulled back, just to go seek deeper the next moment, with more vigour, prying the others lips and plunging inside. The sweetness even more strong than before assaulted their senses, rich, mellow and long lasting, just like that of an aged wine.

Huu

After having held their breath for so long, they at last started panting shallowlyeven the feeling of suffocation was as if they were amidst the heavy rain.

It was that same feeling of restlessness when ones clothes clung tightly to ones body as they dried in the wind after being drenched.

Before he could even realise, his hands were already on his clothes, stripping them one layer after another.

Its so hot. Qi Jing found an excuse. For himself, but also for Shen Yan, Wed get sweaty.

It was a terribly clumsy reason, not at all believable when said during the first days of the winter.

Probably because he knew that it wasnt all that convincing, his voice was very quiet. Its just, because the two of them were so close that even their noses touched, whenever one of them spoke, their hot breath would easily assault the other.

Shen Yan didnt say a word.

His hand on Qi Jings nape slowly combed through his hair, their pitch blackness twining between his fingers with a soft rustle. The soft sensation made him think of a cat basking under the sunlight during the winter, its fur comfortable to strokebut other than that, he was nothing like a cat.

For example, if he moved his hand lower, he would feel Qi Jings neck.

And if he were to continue wandering even lower, he would arrive at the place where his nape connected to the back. The feel of the skin was also nothing alike, a bit cold in the night air, but also so fine so beautiful.

Qi Jing. He called in a hoarse voice.

In compliance to that call, Qi Jing opened his eyes, one of his shoulders still leaned limply against the wall, his clothes in a disarray as he threw him a sideways glance.

Shen Yan slowly moved his body over, pressing his knee closer. The boards of the narrow bed creaked inaudibly, but Qi Jing only watched as he pressed closer, opening his mouth as if wanting to say somethingyet once he saw the look in Shen Yans eyes clearly, he couldnt say anything anymore.

Because there was already no need for the wordsShen Yan probably didnt know how strong the desire was in his gaze when he looked at Qi Jing.

Qi Jing lowered his eyelids a bit, then suddenly, he clutched the collar of Shen Yans shirt, pulling him down as he laid back on the bed.

Shen Yan gasped, unprepared for that. Just as he was about to get back up, Qi Jing held tightly to the hem of his shirt, not letting him move. It was only when he made sure he no longer intended to sit up that Qi Jing slowly released the hold on his shirt, circling his arms around his shoulders, once again holding him in a tight embrace.

Dont say anything, He was no longer using his voice to speak, but to breathe, like a feather teasing an ear, show me.

The temperature gradually fell at night.

Outside the window, the bodhi tree rustled, like a whisper of a couple in the dead of the night.

Inside the apartment, the light covered the places stripped of the clothes like a thin layer of honey, that lustre of the unblemished warmth leaving one wanting to take a gentle biteand Shen Yan had indeed done so, opening the shirt that didnt even have a full set of the buttons anymore, his fingers slowly caressing the two collar bones whose lines were so distinct under the lightbefore he lowered his head to leave his mark.

Qi Jing let him have his way, let him take whatever he wanted.

The hickeys from the last time have still to fade completely This time, probably even more will be left.

He thought dazedly as he gasped.

Many of the thoughts of this kind hovered on the verge of his consciousnesshe thought them, but only fleetingly.

For example the audition.

Audition It has probably already started?

He didnt remember to ask Shen Yan if his account was online in the competition channel all that time.

He didnt remember to ask Shen Yan, just what this audition meant to him.

He didnt remember, he had no way to

He only remembered that very moment, only Shen Yan before his very eyes. Unrelated to anything else, unrelated to any outsider, a man belonging to him only.

Youre mine only

Without him thinking, these words fell from his mouth; it was even when his voice was the most sensual.

Hearing him say so, Shen Yan lifted his head with a pant, moving his hand to Qi Jings black hair spilled on the pillow. At the same time, he reached his body forward, his nose tracing slowly up the line of Qi Jings throat, moving towards the back of his ear before he slightly opened his lips to nibble at the soft part of his earlobe.

Qi Jings ears blushed very easily, but earlobes are usually the least warm part of a human body, so once the cold and warmth met there at the same time, they merged into an unique flavour.

That was Qi Jings weak point.

Once bit, he wouldnt be able to even flinch, going soft from head to toe.

Shen Yan had kissed Qi Jings earlobe before, hence he knew that this was his weak point. Thats also why he didnt think twice as he nibbled along its curve, feeling it slowly become flushed and frail, emitting a kind of scent that no words could describe, a very pleasant one. In a moment of passion, Shen Yan bit stronger, gnawing and sucking, causing a moist sound to arise from time to time.

Qi Jings breathing became heavier.

So much so that he could hear the breath scraping his throat as it flowed hurriedly, both parched and hoarse. According to the voice acting standards, it didnt sound all that good, but it was very passion-inducing between the sheets.

Such a voice, once used to seduce a person, couldnt possibly be met with a decline, Touch me, will you?

The man on him made a soft, nasal mn in response, taking back one of his hands to feel his way down, finding the zipper of his trousers and undoing it clumsily. Perhaps it was because his fingers were trembling, but the chain of the zipper kept stucking. He couldnt undo it for a while, the thick cloth stretched slightly having been pulled along the zipper, rubbing against the underpants below time and time again, the friction causing an ambiguous noise.

Qi Jing bit his lip as he chuckled, stretching his arm to hold Shen Yans hand, correcting the position of the zipper in the right direction and sure enough, it let go.

As the teeth of the zipper chain went undone one after another, the sound it made mixed with their violent heartbeats, especially crisp among the both of their panting.

He had already taken a shower and changed his underwear, so the cotton material was soft to touch after having warmed up on his body.

Not at all difficult to strip.

Shen Yan unzipped the fly of his trousers and let go, his two hands slowly tracing along his waist to the back. Then, he moved upwards, under Qi Jings messied shirt, stopping at the dimples of his lower back, pulling him into his embrace. Qi Jing moved along with him, holding Shen Yans shoulders tightly in his arms, his feets pressed against the bed as he did his best to put his body in the most convenient position for those hands to move.

The trousers slipped off his feet, half of it on the floor, half still hanging off the bedside.

Having shed the clothes, Qi Jing shivered a bit.

Because of his messy work and rest routine these years, his constitution wasnt that good, so his limbs would easily lose warmth during the coldest days, and even at that moment his knees felt cold.

Shen Yan seemed to be aware of that, his hands stopped for a while as it slid down to his knees, rubbing there lightly twice. No matter whether it was for strength or warmth, those hands gave him an indescribable comfort, his legs gradually relaxing, bending them becoming much easier; even his toes curled involuntarily from that mans warmth.

At that moment, Shen Yan lowered his head, planting a silent kiss on his knee. Qi Jing gasped quietly, shrinking his leg back from the embarrassment, but Shen Yan caught his ankle, his thumb right on the small dimple under the bone. As if his weakness had been grasped, Qi Jing shuddered slightly and fell back limply onto the pillows.

He couldnt see a single thing aside from the dazzling light enveloping the room.

He couldnt think of a single thing, aside from this man.

As this mans tongue traced a wet line on the inside of his thigh, a numbing current rushed up his spine, his heart as if held tightly in those firm and strong hands, beating rapidly. The impact of his blood rushing was too big, making him feel as if he was about to lose consciousness.

Lose not only his consciousnessthe restlessness of deliberating each move, the pain of remaining vague, as well as the sense of alienation.

All of it was gone in a moment.

Their first time had no adjustment and no aids, just a body against body, invading silently.

Ngh

Even though he grit his teeth, he still couldnt help a painful groan from escaping.

It hurts

He wasnt at all prepared and there was no warning either, only the pain.

He didnt know when that man started breaching him, by the time his brain reacted, he was already halfway in. But because he waited for it for so, so long, what he felt first wasnt the pain, but fulfilment.

A very, very intense fulfilment.

His whole body was stretched taut, he didnt know what posture could possibly lessen the pain, but his arms hooped tightly on the other, not letting go as the immense pain momentarily made tears gather by the corners of his eyes, flowing down into his hair. He heard himself sob and buried his face in Shen Yans shoulder, crying.

A/N:

I also cried But no matter what, let me congratulate the two of them a little.

I dont want to think about whether its their 0.5 or first time anymore (flops)

I was stuck with this chapter from last year to now, so in a sense it counts as 13/14 new year chapter, very suiting Taking the time difference into account, its Xiaohan today. Within the three five-day long periods of time of Xiaohan, one of the periods is Geese Fly North. I dont understand the logic behind it all that well, but it is said that during these days, although the air is still cold, for some reason the yang energy starts to act up and the wild geese fly to the north. Uncle Yan, you truly are yang energy acting up Is 2Yan delicious??(*``*)

Also also Please remember to always prepare lube so it doesnt end up painful (silently lights a candle for the two of them)

T/N:

Lucilla: Definitely definitely always use lube and do all the preparation when needed *bonks Shen Yan and Qi Jing with a bottle of lube*

But I need to say that aside from the fact that their first time is biting the pillow (sigh), the descriptions are just so sensual!

Whiteflare: SY, you really needed lube you didnt even attempt to prepare him! Bad goose, bad goose! (Definitely sensual though)