He licked his lips. My stomach muscles tightened as I recalled how pleasant his lips had felt sucking my b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Why had I never noticed how full and sensual his bottom lip was? Come to that, how had I never noticed how s.e.xy he was or what a big c.o.c.k he was packing?

"Honeya"I don't know how to say this."

I shrugged. "Just say it."

"Last night was very special for me. I've beenawanting you for a very long time."

I stared at him. "What? You've wantedabutayou were Steve's best friend! He trusted you with me!"

He flushed. "And I never stepped out of line with you. Never! I never let you see how I felt, but Steve knew."

"I don't believe you. If he'd known, he wouldn't have let you anywhere near me."

He shook his head. "He did know, but he also knew I would never act on those feelings. Not only because we were best friends, but because I'd never do anything to hurt you."

I thought of all the times he'd greeted me by locking me in a bear hug and felt betrayed. When I thought he was being friendly, he'd wanted to sleep with me. And now that Steve was dead he thought I was going to be his woman? Just for a moment, I wondered if he'd allowed Steve to be shot so he could have me, but quickly dismissed the thought. No matter how he felt about me, he'd loved Steve.

"I can't handle this, Jake. Last night is not going to happen again. If you need s.e.x, you'd bettera""

"I don't need s.e.x. I want you. I love you."

I backed away from him. "Well, I don't love you." I remembered that gun in his hand the night before and rushed on. "I do love you, Jake. You know I do. Just not like that. But JR and I miss you and need you back in our lives. As my friend."

He ran a hand through his hair. "Just a friend, honey?"

I nodded. "We both needed last night, but I don't need or want you as a lover, Jake."

He sighed and sagged back against the counter. "Fine. I'll be yourafriend. Tasha."

I nodded. "Come see JR soon."

He came the following night. When JR rushed at him and burst into tears, I felt awful for having kept them apart for so long. Jake and I avoided looking at each other and only spoke to each other when necessary. But after three weeks, it became easier to be in the same room with Jake and behave as if we'd never spent a l.u.s.tful night together.

Until I started having erotic dreams about him. I'd want him in the middle of the day. And when he came to see JR, I began visualizing him naked, aroused, and wanting me. It got so bad I could barely look at him without feeling a rush of dampness between my legs.

He never again alluded to our night together. Head stopped calling me honey.

And I missed that. After six weeks, I wanted him so badly, I didn't care what people would say about my sleeping with Steve's ex-partner who also happened to be white.

He'd said he loved me and I wasn't so sure anymore that I didn't love him like he loved me. I was certainly consumed with desire for him. But I also missed his tenderness, his thoughtfulness, his dependability. I just missed him.

One Friday night, I sent JR to spend the weekend with my parents. I chilled some wine and asked him to come over. The look in his eyes when I opened the door wearing nothing but a red teddy and matching heels, made me ache for him.

"Oh, honey," he whispered and drew me into his arms. There in the doorway, we kissed with wild abandon, uncaring of what the neighbors would say. Within moments, he was aroused and I was ready for him. He lifted me in his arms and carried me upstairs.

Holding me in his arms over my bed, he hesitated. I saw a look of concern in his eyes. "Here honey? Are you sure?"

I didn't know how I was going to feel in the morning about sleeping with Jake in the same bed I'd shared with Steve. I didn't know what the future held for me and Jake. I knew my parents wouldn't be pleased. But I didn't care. I just wanted him. I'd loved Steve with all my heart and soul. But he'd been dead for nearly six months. I was alive. I had needs and wants and they all centered around Jake and Jakeas c.o.c.k. I meant to spend the entire night with him buried to the hilt in my p.u.s.s.y, while I shuddered under him like a shameless hussy.

"Yes," I whispered.

He laid me gently on the bed and settled his big body between my trembling thighs. "Oh honey, I need to be inside your sweet, sweet p.u.s.s.y."

"Funny you should mention that," I murmured, reaching down to part the lips of my c.u.n.t for him. "Because I've been dreaming about that big, p.u.s.s.y-pleasing d.i.c.k of yours. I need it inside me. Now, Jake! Now. Shove it in! Shove it in!"

Cupping my b.r.e.a.s.t.s in trembling hands, he kissed me and thrust into me with a maddening slowness that made my toes curl. I closed my eyes and shut the world out. Tonight there was just me and Jake in a world filled with luscious, illicit pleasure.

Later, after the first rush of pa.s.sion had been satisfied, we'd talk about love and how we'd spend the rest of our lives. JR needed a father figure in his life and I needed a lover and a husband in mine.

I'm thinking Jake will be a perfect fit for both of us.

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