"I don't give a s.h.i.t what they think of me."

"You can't survive out here alone!"

"I've managed so far."

Philip sighed. "Maybe you have a place to live and managed to get a hold of some money, you're a smart wench, but you're living on borrowed time, my darling. What do you think will happen when the Wolf gets wind of this? Do you think Dirk's forgotten how you humiliated him?"

I shook my head. "No one gives a s.h.i.t about me."

He shook his head. "Hopefully Kurt can persuade you. He gives much more than a s.h.i.t s.h.i.t about you." about you."

My heart skipped a beat in spite of itself. "f.u.c.king liar, just like the rest... "

"Don't blame him for that nasty trick Brovik played on you. Kurt never meant to deceive you. Honestly, Kurt knew nothing, had no part in it. I swear. The boy has a mind of his own."

"He's in his sixties now, hardly a boy anymore, but even if he is all you claim, Brovik won't let him near me until he figures out an angle to benefit him."

"If ever two were destined for one another... " Philip took my hands, enfolding them in his own. "When Brovik first approached me with this possibility of harnessing immortality, I was skeptical to say the least. You and Kurt are the only ones who understand the pitfalls of this endeavor. Only a slave understands the dangers of absolute power." Philip's face looked careworn as he raised my hands to his lips. "Please Mia, say you'll come home with me."

I leaned my forehead against his. "You're my only friend but I'm sorry. I love you but if I can't go with you. I'll stay here, even if it means I die here. I've got to go."

I got up to leave. Philip hugged me. "I'm always at you service, little one. You need only call and I'll come."

I withdrew from his arms. "Gotta ticket to a play, maybe we can get one for you?"

"I have to go back- business matters."

I hugged him. "Goodbye, old fool."

He slipped a knife into my bag. "Be careful, sweet sister, I wouldn't lose you for the world."

"I can handle myself, remember? I'm the Bird of Prey."

"Kurt will will come, Mia, now that Ethan is out of the picture. Don't turn him away." come, Mia, now that Ethan is out of the picture. Don't turn him away."

The aching loneliness I'd staved off in the past months washed over me. I hesitated. Why not just go with Philip and find out? But to go was to accept Brovik's yoke around my neck again. Not even the sweet temptation of Kurt would make me give up my hard-won freedom to that b.a.s.t.a.r.d.

"I'll think about it." I pushed my way out of the bar and into the chilly spring, breathing in the crisp air. Mortals filled the streets like so many cattle, but I barely noticed their scent as I made my way to the theatre. My mind was occupied with everything Philip had told me. Maybe all Ethan had said about Kurt was just another of his myriad lies. Maybe Kurt was everything his letters and our brief meetings promised. For the first time in decades, I saw a ray of hope.

But despite Philip's prediction, Kurt didn't come. Loneliness gnawed harder now that I'd given it a fresh opening. I chided myself. Kurt had no interest in me except to further Brovik's plans. His master's love was the only thing he desired. It was a very shrewd philosophy, actually. He remained Brovik's prized possession, while no one cared if a cast-off like me lived or died.

I didn't see Philip again for a long time. In fact, I didn't run across any Immortyls for a long time. It's a big city and I never haunted the same place often. Ethan had told me there were sewer rats there, so I was always careful to mingle in crowds of mortals, but aside from seeing furtive dark shapes and hearing whispers from the shadows, I never encountered them. Still, there was the omnipresent problem of taking victims down in private venues where one wouldn't be observed. I couldn't kill in hotel rooms or apartments. Those measures were only taken in extreme circ.u.mstances. It was much better to lure them to a secluded spot, where I could easily dispose of the remains, or ambush them unawares in some dark and forsaken corner, but once I strayed away from mortal eyes, I left myself vulnerable to attack from my own kind, and as Philip had warned, my luck couldn't hold out forever.

Inevitably, one night a pang of hunger awakened me. I was pretty good at reading the early warning signs now and took Ethan's advice to feed early before my judgment was impaired. Hopping a subway uptown to the park, I took down a would-be rapist, taking a dozen nice thick gold chains, a diamond ear stud, some cash, a watch and a gram of c.o.ke. Not a bad night's hunting. After I slashed the throat with my hunting knife to disguise the teeth marks, I dragged the body into the trees and hid it under some brush, scooping out a shallow grave for burial. Then I stopped off at the Turtle Pond to wash off the dirt and gore.

I followed the path up to the Belvedere Castle and stood for a while on the overlook, surveying the deserted Delacorte Theatre across the water, reflecting on my own little Winter's Tale Winter's Tale, cast out to the elements at the mercy of wild beasts like the infant Perdita. Yet this is what I wanted, wasn't it? Freedom- yes- but not complete solitude, cut off from my own kind however reprehensible they might be. Post-feed languor washed over me. Stretching out on the stone railing, I closed my eyes for a moment, letting the cool wind wash over my face, wishing for someone to share the zipping and popping inside of my veins. Kurt materialized in my mind, looking as he did standing on the terrace in Italy, skin like porcelain and eyes filled with light. His hand reached out to me and he smiled. I might have joined him in my fancy if the smallest sound hadn't alerted me, the snapping of a twig and soft footsteps.

My hair suddenly stood on end. Danger! Danger! As I rose to my feet, I caught the scent, As I rose to my feet, I caught the scent, two, males, unfamiliar two, males, unfamiliar from the direction of the Ramble. Company was on its way, and I doubted it would be congenial. The wind was in my favor and chances were they didn't scent me yet. I took off like a spooked doe down the hill and through the trees toward the streets. The brightly lit Museum of Natural History and eighty-second street subway stop lay ahead. I didn't dare waste a moment to look behind. from the direction of the Ramble. Company was on its way, and I doubted it would be congenial. The wind was in my favor and chances were they didn't scent me yet. I took off like a spooked doe down the hill and through the trees toward the streets. The brightly lit Museum of Natural History and eighty-second street subway stop lay ahead. I didn't dare waste a moment to look behind.

I thought I was in the clear at last, when one of them headed me off, catching me just as I ran through an underpa.s.s. He dragged me off into the trees where his companion waited.

As the moon came out of the clouds I got a good look at them. Rat, Rat, almost grown up, dressed in much the same fashion as I, in jeans and leather jackets, pale white. Both had piercings in their lips, noses and ears. The taller one smiled down at me struggling in his arms. "We've been hunting the park for years. Never found anything like you." almost grown up, dressed in much the same fashion as I, in jeans and leather jackets, pale white. Both had piercings in their lips, noses and ears. The taller one smiled down at me struggling in his arms. "We've been hunting the park for years. Never found anything like you."

"Let me go."

The other crossed in front of me. "Not a very warm welcome."

They had no accents, recently made in the U.S.A, still very human in appearance, too many little twitches and gestures, and no cla.s.s.

"Mmm. Pure uptown. Whose baby are you?"

I didn't let on I was afraid. "There are four million mortals on this island. Find one of them to bleed."

"Nothing like that. Just party with us."

"Ever heard of the Northman?"

They glanced at one another.

The taller one shrugged. "Cat's some f.u.c.king Viking or something."

"See the ring on my finger? He finds out you've been bothering me you can kiss your sorry a.s.ses goodbye, got it?"

"Never heard one of them letting their women run around Central Park on their own. Come on babe, we'll give you something pretty."

They didn't bother with more conversation. The tall one held me while the other raped me. Then they switched places. Afterward, they argued the easiest way to drag me back to their lair. The tall boy pulled a gun, jabbing it into my ribs. "Listen, no funny stuff babe, you're going to come along like a good girl. Once we're home you're going to do what just we say or we'll bleed you. Got it?"

"I'm the Northman's blood. You can't do this."

The shorter one laughed. "The Northman won't give a s.h.i.t about some cast off piece of tail."

"Take the ring," the tall one said.

I lifted my legs, kicking the one holding me in the groin. He doubled over in pain, clutching himself. While he staggered to his feet the other cold c.o.c.ked me with the gun. Everything went black.

When I came to, they were dragging me to the street, still arguing about what to do next. I spotted a large, African-American beat cop and screamed b.l.o.o.d.y murder. The two of them dropped me, and took off into the park again. The cop ran over and knelt down beside me.

"You okay sweetheart? Those punks hurt you?"

I wiped blood from the corner of my mouth. "I'm okay."

His huge brown hand reached out to help me to my feet. He frowned as he observed my torn clothes. "They mess with you? You should go to a hospital. I'll call an ambulance. We'll pick them up. They won't get far. "

I shook my head. "I'm fine. Just want to go home."

He looked doubtful. "If you say so. Stay out of the park at night, you hear? It's no place for you."

He patted my shoulder. I headed downtown along Central Park West. They'd taken all my cash, so a cab was out of the question. I was completely broke. I didn't think I could feel much worse than I already did, but these two proved just how fragile my situation was. Tears jabbed my eyes as I walked the long blocks downtown. I'd been so stupid to let down my guard and for what, a fantasy of someone who couldn't care less if I lived or died?

Months went by before I saw another. From time to time I caught sight of the shadowy figures that seemed as wary of me as I was of them. They didn't seem to mean me harm, and I was tempted to call out to them out of sheer loneliness, but they'd always quickly slip out of sight.

Then I started to encounter what I came to term my "suitors". A cast-off is fair game to the old ones and their alphas. Manhattan is neutral territory, and they're just as attracted to its opportunities as mortals. Not that they came specifically in search of me, but if they chanced upon me they availed themselves of the convenience. A few even offered to take me in. I once had the unparalleled privilege of entertaining Kalidasa, the huge, quivering mound of lard that was the chief elder. Disgusting. These suitors were no more welcome a sight to me than to Penelope but they didn't hurt me, well, not enough to kill me, just enough to make it fun for them. They compensated me well for my trouble. It helped pay the bills.

Spring pa.s.sed, summer arrived again, the second on my own. It turned hot and unbearably humid. Air so thick you could cut it with a knife. Mortals spilled out of buildings like blood. Luckier ones had air-conditioning or escaped to summer homes by the sea. Even I wasn't invulnerable to the sweltering greenhouse. I went to the movies to deal with the heat and boredom and tried to hunt closer to home, where there was less chance of meeting other vampires. On sultry nights mortals lingered along the waterfront, seeking s.e.x, drugs, or both.

One of these early mornings, I made a quick kill of a junkie on the piers then dumped the body in the Hudson, amusing myself by thinking up a fitting epitaph for the deceased as he slipped below the oily brown water. A television jingle I'd heard years before popped into my head.

Plop, plop, fizz, fizz. Oh, what a relief it is.

Breeze kicked up, cooling the sluggish air. I ran my fingers through my hair and shivered. The wind felt like a tongue on the exposed parts of my body. I toyed with the idea of picking up a mortal, but they're generally disappointing s.e.xually. I sighed, resigning myself to relieving my tension manually at home, when a footstep soft as a cat's paw fell on the pavement. Turning around, I sniffed but there was no scent. Whatever it was it was upwind. A heartbeat, a little faster than a mortal at rest came toward me, closer and closer. Now I scented him, one of us, male and very close, possibly a sewer rat sewer rat. I took off running, but he called my name in sweet voice.

"Mee-ya?"

I stopped, heart pounding, and turned around slowly as a slight figure emerged from the shadows into the streetlight- so close I felt his breath on my face- an arm's length away. Dressed in a blue b.u.t.ton-down shirt, jeans and sneakers, he looked like a student. Breeze ruffled his honey-colored hair as the streetlight caught his remarkable eyes, sending another, deeper shiver down around my pelvis.

"Kurt?" I whispered, believing him a hallucination brought on by narcotics in my victim's blood.

He smiled, the nerve of him. I snapped out of my reverie. "What took you so f.u.c.king long?"

"Forgive me. I'd have come sooner... "

"But Brovik wouldn't let you, and you always do what he says like a good little boy boy."

I stomped away, but his plaintive voice stopped me, "I fought hard to come here."

I whirled on him. "He needs me to give some politician a b.l.o.w.j.o.b? Or do you handle that exclusively now?"

If my insult hurt he didn't flinch. He was much more concerned with other matters. He glanced around nervously. "Can we go somewhere private to talk?"

"I've nothing to say to you."

Kurt displayed the characteristic stillness of our race, a carefully honed ability to disguise emotion. He'd had the best tutor and reflected his master's indomitable calm. But I sensed turbulence swirling under the surface. He lowered his head for a moment then looked me straight in the face with those eyes. Zap! "I know what you think. Hear me out. I'm offering a.s.sistance." "I know what you think. Hear me out. I'm offering a.s.sistance."

"Don't need it." I broke away toward my apartment.

Kurt caught my arm. "Gaius has dogs kenneled here. It's only a matter of time before Dirk crosses your path."

I turned to face him. "I can handle him."

He gave me this sad puppy dog look. "Please Mee-ya, I've come such a long way." I hesitated. "I've been very stubborn about you." He held up his slender fingers. "I threatened to leave, and I hold Brovik's empire in these hands." Mee-ya, I've come such a long way." I hesitated. "I've been very stubborn about you." He held up his slender fingers. "I threatened to leave, and I hold Brovik's empire in these hands."

"And he holds your life in his."

He shrugged, a small smile warming his face, a very different kind of smile than thirty-four years before. "How much work can he get out of me dead? We'll go somewhere to talk, yes?"

"We've got two hours till dawn." I started across the street. "This way... "

He fell in beside me, unhurried, contemplative, his head slightly bent, as if counting cracks in the sidewalk. He glanced over. Zowie! Zowie! Those eyes got me every time. "Brovik and Ethan had a huge quarrel. Ethan dumped Leisha on us and disappeared." Those eyes got me every time. "Brovik and Ethan had a huge quarrel. Ethan dumped Leisha on us and disappeared."

"And now she works with you?"

He touched my arm. "Hush," his voice fell to a whisper, "listen, scent the air. Anything?"

I shook my head. He frowned. We walked the remaining block to my apartment in silence. I was still trying to figure out if he could be trusted.

"This is it," I said, as we stood before my building. His bewildered eyes took in the battered, industrial exterior. "Come on." I unlocked the door and pressed the b.u.t.ton for the elevator.

As I unlocked my apartment door and switched on the lights, a couple of roaches skittered across the wall, disappearing under a baseboard. Kurt blinked at the glare, giving the apartment a dubious glance as I sat on the futon, kicking off my boots. I glanced up to catch Kurt staring. He turned abruptly to the window, pulling back the drape.

"Who are you looking for?"

"Gaius's dogs." He scanned the street below. "They followed me earlier tonight. I believe I've finally lost them. Have you been bothered at all?"

"Two rats accosted me in the park."

He faced me, stricken. "Were you hurt?"

"If being raped is hurt, yeah, I guess so."

"I'll make it stop."

"You can do that?"

"I have connections. Brovik's made me responsible responsible for you." for you."

My hackles rose. "I'm your concubine concubine in other words?" in other words?"

"According to the code, I cannot take one."

"He's giving me me as a toy to keep you playing contentedly at his side." as a toy to keep you playing contentedly at his side."

"His intention, not mine." He looked away, somewhat embarra.s.sed. "Should you choose however- that would be entirely different."

"Now you're being truthful."

He turned his eyes on me. I could swim in them forever. "I never lied to you."

"You kept things back."

"In my position it's expedient." He turned away to examine a picture on the wall, the flat's owner, a West Indian dancer. "Who's this?"

"Beautiful, isn't she?"

"It's dangerous to take mortal lovers."

I decided to have a little fun with him, dropping my voice into a smoky register, "Sometimes love is worth the danger."

Kurt turned wide-eyed, disconcertingly teenaged. "You could be found out."